


Remembering You

by paradoxicallysimplistic



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action & Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, Dreams, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, NaNoWriMo 2016, Rated For Violence, Romance, papa!levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:32:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 57,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8622958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradoxicallysimplistic/pseuds/paradoxicallysimplistic
Summary: Eren is one of the few members of the Scouting Legion who survived the brutal battle to reclaim Shiganshina. Life should be pleasant for the soldier: humanity is rebuilding in the outer walls, the titan threat has cooled down, and the Scouting Legion is well-thought of again.But he keeps having recurring dreams of flying through the forest on 3DMG chasing after a stranger. Who is this faceless stranger? And are the dreams portents of something to come or forgotten memories of a time past?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> My first NaNoWriMo submission! Technically a NaNoWriMo 2016 winner since I finished 50k words, but editing and polishing took more time. Hope you guys like it! The idea has been kicking around my head for the last half year, so I'm excited to finally let it out.
> 
> It's meant to be an emotionally evocative piece and you may cry. This is set ~5 years after and diverges from the canon around chapter 82 (or midway into the battle for Shiganshina). There are, of course, other slight details that differ before then, but the important events up to the battle happen. The outcome of that battle simply differs. Rated "M" for violence and some referenced (canon & minor) character deaths. Finally, please, please, please be aware that despite the feels and angst in the first couple of chapters, things will eventually get better and there is a happy ending in store for Levi and Eren.
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this! Any comments, suggestions, and kudos are greatly welcome. You can also find this on Wattpad [here](https://www.wattpad.com/story/96508659).
> 
>  **tumblr:** [paradoxicallysimplistic](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/paradoxicallysimplistic) | **WattPad:** [ParadoxicallySimple](https://www.wattpad.com/user/ParadoxicallySimple) | **NaNoWriMo:** [Shadow_of_Evenstar](http://nanowrimo.org/participants/shadow_of_evenstar/novels)

It was the same dream he had been having for as long he could remember. It was always so nostalgic, as If he had actually walked through that exact part of the forest before. As if those events had taken place in some past that never happened. As if he had lived through the particular event in more than just his dreams.

He knew exactly what would happen. They would start out flying through the woods on maneuver gear, blades in hand just in case of trouble, and then land on the soft dirt, walking for a little while until he woke up. That such a small jaunt through those woods would be so painstakingly slow and fill his mind with strange longing was something he had never experienced before. He could not describe exactly what was happening in his mind. No words were able to explain the muffled, cloudy sensation stifling his thoughts, weighing down his heart. It was like he was simultaneously alive, yet not alive; in a state of trance-like being that did not exist.

As things unfolded around him, he was both a participant and observer. The sensations of rushing through the trees, pushing his limbs, forcing himself faster through the branches, came to him. Yet he was not able to control the movement itself, it merely happened. He could not move his arms or legs, and whatever happened did so without his conscious will. He was not in control of his own body, something else was propelling him forward into the known dream, yet unknown abyss. He had tried screaming before, asking what was going on, seeking an answer to his questions, but no sound escaped.

Like the Wings of Freedom, which stylized the outfits he wore in the Scouting Legion, they flew through the woods as if free. But that wasn’t true. The wind rushing through his hair, the exhilaration, and the pounding of his heart, was present, but it was different. He knew he was not really free having experienced the actual sensation of sailing freely through the air. Here, he was powerless to alter course. They only went forward. Always forward amongst those densely packed trees. He wished they could change it up, or rather be able to control what was happening. See what else existed in the dream. Or perhaps even rewind to the part before they took off in the trees.

But it wasn’t just the events which unfolded that seemed so hauntingly familiar. It should not have been anything but a recurring figment of his imagination, but it seemed so much more than that. There was something about the path they had taken, as if there was some meaning to where they were going, what they were doing, and why they were doing it. His dreaming mind couldn’t think of any purpose, any rationale, any meaning to the happenings going on, yet the sensation remained.

The stranger was good, almost godlike, as he flew effortlessly, never stopping or looking back. He considered himself one of the best within the Legion, yet the shadow in front of him always seemed to be just that much better. He was never able to keep up. Angling his hooks and releasing the line seemed easy enough, but each of his actions was just a fraction of a second too slow to reach the person in front of him. It was not like they were fleeing from something or running towards someone; he could feel no urgency aside from the pure sensation of being airborne, wingless, through the woods. But the blur escaped his grasp every time.

Like all his other dreams, they made their way through the thick branches even as dusk fell. The shadows seemed to distort their passage through the dense forest, but even though there was not much light, he knew they would not crash. The shadow in front of him remained a mere blur. If they had been in the real world, he would have doubted his ability to see and keep up with the person in front. His legs were screaming from the exertion, and even though he knew it wouldn’t happen, he didn’t want to lose sight of the figure in front of him. Heart pounding from adrenaline and anxiety as they flew through the woods, they covered large distances with each leap. Then, mimicking the blur in front of him, he dropped to the ground. He had no concept of how far they had travelled before he reeled in his grappling hooks.

As always, the gas tank was half-empty from use and sweat coated his brow as they began their trek on the soft dirt floor. Jogging slightly to catch up, he matched his speed to the quick strides of the shorter, dark-haired figure. Tall trees crowned over their heads, obscuring the sight of the sun and making it difficult to see more than a few meters ahead. The forest was devoid of the usual birdsong and small animals moving about their home. Twigs cracked underfoot and he always had to try hard to keep his breaths even. Their eyes were constantly on the lookout, wary of any large shadowy figures that might jump out at them.

After what seemed to be an eternity – he was never sure how long it was, since the passage of time was distorted here – the stranger stopped and turned around. The face was blurred, features clear for a moment before becoming distorted. Even if he could not place a name to the face, he could feel an inexplicable ache as dark eyes, full of longing and pain, stared at him. Each of those pale hands gripped a blade in a strange backhand grasp. In spite of that strange grip, he somehow knew the stranger was very skilled with those blades and could take him down in an instant if they chose to. Attached to the stranger’s hips and legs was a set of gear, the same 3D Maneuver Gear that all military recruits were trained on. The stiff posture and upright bearing screamed military.

There was something so hauntingly familiar each time he saw the faceless stranger with his dark green cloak and the blue and white emblem blazing on the back. Shadows fell over them as the sun set in the background and he shivered, goose bumps forming on his skin, as a lone owl hooted above them signaling that night was nearing. Despite everything, for some inexplicable reason, he could never place a name to the face or even identify the uniform. He could have sworn he had seen the uniform and the emblem emblazoned on it, yet his mind refused to cooperate. The stranger’s skill far outstripped his and yet even then, he could not place a name to it.

And for some reason, he knew this person, this faceless shadow, meant more to him than they seemed.

The stranger’s mouth opened and closed as if saying something, but no words came out. Or at least, he couldn’t hear anything. A whoosh of wind passed through, rustling the leaves overhead as the figure slowly dissolved in the mist.

In the haze of his mind, he felt something important slip through his grasp. Reaching out, he tried to grab and hold on, but it faded once more, moving beyond him as he woke up, hand outstretched in midair.

 

“Hey, Armin. Whose room is that?” Eren was sure he had walked through the hallway many times, and he thought he knew every room there was in the building, but the slightly ajar door seemed familiar and foreign at the same time. It certainly wasn’t where the new recruits slept or where the offices were, and only officers with rank had their own rooms. It was entirely possible he had forgotten whose room it was. Many in the Scouting Legion had given their lives to ensure victory against the titan shifters and there were many empty rooms and beds in headquarters as a result.

“Not sure. It’s been empty for a while now, and the new commander never got around to assigning it. You know how they are with studying titans and everything. It’s a completely clean room, too clean actually. Everyone seems to fear it for some reason.” Eren arched his brow at the strange comment. Why would anyone ever be afraid of a room, because it was ‘too clean?’ They would have to be deranged or mental.

“Mind if I look inside?”

“Sure. We’re not in any particular rush and you know how the new commander is.” The blonde let out a shrug, turning around and stopping.

Things had changed radically under the new commander Not only was Hange much more informal and asked everyone to address them by their given name, a very rare thing in the military which emphasized ranks, but the new commander didn’t really care much about the day to day running of the Scouting Legion. As a result, the rest of them had taken it upon themselves to train and make sure things were in order. It was a lot of work keeping headquarters clean, dealing with the horses, and managing supply runs, but they somehow made it all work. It might have been because they could all be considered veterans of the Legion, given the numerous battles they had been through, so very few instructions were needed. A few signatures were necessary, but it was fairly easy to push a page onto the commander’s table and have them sign it as they multitasked.

Despite how brilliant Hange was, the former squad leader was also very poor with keeping track of time. Oftentimes, they would barge in late for meetings, being caught up in some titan experiment or something, and could easily ramble on for much longer. It was difficult to say if Hange even slept, given how they always seemed to bursting with new ideas and endless energy. Eren did not really mind given how he was typically the one running behind with errands.

Overall, though, Hange’s leadership was a surprisingly refreshing departure from the somber mood that the rest of the military had when it came to titans. The new commander knew first-hand the gravity of the situation, but they were also great at alleviating the tension. Instead of treating titans as a plague and focusing on those who had died, Hange looked forward and with their scientific prowess, was focused on ways to increase combat efficiency and other things that would assist with survival. They would also often hold events in the dining hall or poke fun at things which greatly helped generate laughter and boost morale.

It had been a few months since Erwin’s demise and they were slowly, but surely, picking up the pieces. The next batch of graduating cadets was expected to choose their regiments soon and the brunet sincerely hoped that there would be a good number joining them this time. The highly successful campaign to retake Wall Maria had come at much too high a cost. The Scouting Legion had always been small, but now they numbered less than a hundred. They all knew how vital it was for fresh blood to bolster their ranks, which was why they were meeting with the new commander.

Or at least they had been on the way to meet the new commander until Eren had discovered the empty room.

Pushing open the door, he entered the space. Bright shafts of sunlight streamed in, casting the small room in a golden glow. Even though the room was small, it was still more spacious than the shared barracks which he currently slept in. The brunet could make out a faint musky scent of lemons and soap, which seemed to permeate the small space. Only the bare minimum adorned the room. There was a standard military-issue bed, night table, closet, and chair. There were no personal effects anywhere. The bed was untouched, sheets neatly folded with nary a wrinkle, and seemed oddly comforting to Eren. It was a sterile, yet strangely welcoming environment. Walking over to the bed almost out of reflex, the brunet ran his hand over the cottony fabric. It was cold to the touch and the material seemed well washed, given how soft the crisp linen seemed. He could detect a hint of something’s or someone’s hauntingly familiar smell, but the thought slipped out of his grasp.

He must have been doing something strange, since Jean popped his head in and cackled, “Oi, suicidal bastard. Since when did you sniff beds like a priss?”

“Fuck off horse face. Why don’t you go eat some hay?”

“Jean, Eren, calm down you two.” As always, Armin was the voice of reason.

Scowling at Jean, Eren got up from his knees. A part of him wanted to linger in the room longer. He posed a silent question, but there was no reply. The silence seemed to sing through him, as if asking him to stay. If it was alive, and the room most certainly was not, Eren would have almost expected the space to be waiting for something or someone that had once inhabited its walls. The brunet knew of no such person, but the strange thought lingered for a moment longer as he glanced again at the surroundings, which were not that different from the lodgings the rest of them lived in. The only difference was that it was cleaner and meant for one person instead of the barracks which housed eight per room.

Shaking the bizarre sensation away, he walked out the door, shutting it behind him with a faint click. He had woken up too early to be thinking of things such as empty rooms having consciousness. Whoever had lived in that room previously was none of his business. However, the strange sense of nostalgia did remind Eren of the recurring dream haunting his nights.

For as long as the brunet could recall, the dream had begun when he entered the Scouting Legion and recurred every few days without rhyme or reason. He had not bothered to keep track, so it was a rough estimation. Sometimes when he was properly exhausted, those fleeting moments would intrude into his daydreams. Eren also had other dreams, but it was the particular one involving flying through the trees with a faceless stranger that always came to mind. He had spent so much time mulling over it, coming no closer to an answer, that it had become the new ‘normal.’

It wasn’t like any dreams the brunet had experienced before either. Although he sometimes had flashbacks in his sleep to other scenes that evoked a sense of nostalgia, none of them made him feel so strongly compared to the current sensations running through his veins. Eren had experienced the same thing so many times, yet each time felt novel… if that was even possible. In the moment it always felt new, as if he was living it for the first time, but a small corner of his mind told him it was a dream.

Mikasa and Armin knew about it, but neither of them knew why he dreamed of such a thing. It was probably due to stress or something, yet it hadn’t faded even after Shiganshina was reclaimed. Armin joked about it being some repressed memory, but since it didn’t seem to affect his day to day life or combat abilities, Eren was content to let the sleeping dragon lie.

The weirdest thing about that dream, however, was that afterwards, the brunet would find himself chasing shadows. They were like fragments of a memory, tickling at his mind. An achingly familiar whiff of black tea. The same scent of lemon and bleach that had been in the room. They seemed so commonplace, yet at the same time, it was different from the lemony soap they used or the tea they had in the kitchen.

The brunet cast one last backwards glance at the closed door, waving away the mental cobwebs haunting his mind and that eerie sense of familiarity, before heading down the stairs.


	2. Chance Encounter

After the successful recapture of the Outer Wall, many new recruits had signed up for the Scouting Legion, allowing them to refill the gaps in membership. Thankfully, the number of titan attacks had decreased and there was no rush to mount a new expedition any time soon. The time also gave them a chance to grieve for the dead and better train and equip the new scouts with necessary skills to use the maneuver gear.

Learning to control one’s body at high velocities while being suspended in midair took time and even Eren could not say he had fully mastered it yet. He remembered practicing with members of his former squad, namely Petra, Eld, Gunther, and Oluo, all of whom had died in one of the first expeditions he had partook in. They were all much better than he was, but the fact that they were dead was a constant reminder that titans did not care how skilled one was with the gear. They could squash any human easily; similar to how one would squash a bug.

The titan shifters were even worse since they could think, strategize, and _learn_. Some, like Annie, Bertholt, and Reiner, had blended in and could betray them at any moment. Being able to harden already made them stronger than normal titans and their human intellect made them formidable foes. He hated them for the thousands of lives that had been lost when the titans broke through the wall. Villages were razed to the ground and Shiganshina was no exception to that. Eren hoped that there were no more shifters hidden in their midst. There was no telling how much more destruction might happen if that were the case.

Five years had passed since then and although the Scouting Legion was smaller than the Garrison or the Military Police, it was once more a force to be reckoned with. As absentminded as Hange seemed, they were also brilliant. With all the resources of the Legion under their command, new tools to combat the titans and methods of increased maneuver gear efficiency were developed. And with Armin coming up with strategies, it was no wonder losses had been kept to a minimum.

After the last expedition, a void was created in the chain of command due to the high number of causalities as well as those who survived but were honorably discharged due to their injuries. To fill up the holes in ranks, many changes were made in the hierarchy of the Scouting Legion. Along with some other members of the 104th Training Corps, Eren found himself being promoted to Squad Leader.

Armin was chosen to be the Scouting Legion _’s_ military tactician, replacing Erwin and proving to be the former commander’s equal when it came to tactics and strategies. Mikasa became the leader of a special squad, one with her own handpicked members for tougher missions. Eren had been there when his sister had received the news and he thought he had glimpsed a sorrowful soft smile when she accepted, but it was quickly covered up by her acceptance. She ran a tight ship and many in the military hailed her as being the best soldier they had. Jean was also promoted to squad leader at the same time Eren was, and most of their animosity had taken on a friendlier, almost brotherly, air. Sometimes they even trained their groups together, given how expeditions were often multi-squad operations.

It was a novel experience to have new recruits look up to him. But Eren had not realized how unnerving it would be to be given charge and responsibility over so many lives. He had no idea how Mikasa or his former squad leaders were able to handle the burden.  He had trained and instructed his team on the skills they would need to survive when battling against the titans. But the first time they had gone on a mission, things had gone sideways and he had lost two of the members in his squad. It was a rather low number in the grand scheme of things or when compared to the casualty rate before the wall was fixed, but Eren had been devastated at the loss of life. There was only so much he could do to ready them for combat, but many recruits were still green and unable to cope with the gut-wrenching fear and they froze when faced with a titan. Over time, though, they learned and those that survived gradually toughened up.

In the years following that fateful reclaiming of Wall Maria and the four districts, they had managed to wipe out the lingering titans inside the walls within two or so years, and people had begun resettling and repopulating the Outer Wall. A holiday and festival was named in honor of the Legion and those who had dedicating their lives to reclaim the walls. The Scouting Legion had also begun mounting expeditions outside into uncharted territory and Eren had finally been able to see the land outside the walls. The vast space and greenery as far as the eye could see was wondrous and a little daunting.

There was no telling how many titans might still be out there and they were always careful not to stray too far from the walls. Great care had been taken on those first few missions and thankfully, major losses were kept to a minimum. There were whispers of setting up a settlement or camps outside the walls, but nothing had materialized, as security would be a constant issue with the titan threat. Over the years, the Legion’s ranks burgeoned due to their newfound popularity and recent successes. Compared to the past when there were whispers of how stupid it was to venture outside, these days Eren often found himself being thanked by people on the streets whenever he wore the signature forest green cape with the Wings of Freedom.

As much as he appreciated how much people supported the Scouting Legion, he also found it somewhat tiring how frequently someone would interrupt his walk by trying to give him flowers or ask about his last expedition. Although he could not fault their sincerity, most people did not realize the heavy cost of those victories or the fact that those successes were built on top of the bodies of the dead. He could still remember when he had first joined the Legion how people thought it was a foolhardy suicidal endeavor. And to see how those sentiments had been upended and replaced sat ill with him.

“Eren, watch out.”

“Huh?” Tearing his eyes away from the colorful street stalls, he turned to face his sister. Unfortunately, Eren had not been paying attention when he stopped and he felt someone collide with him.

“Ow! Shit!” Stumbling back, hand outstretched to grab air and regain his balance, his hand clutched onto a firm shoulder. Righting himself, he looked down to see a short, dark-haired male scowling up at him. Retracting his arm, Eren flinched from the intensity of the gaze. “Uh… s-sorry.”

“Fu–” Grey eyes widened as if in recognition before the man exhaled a small breath. “Tch. Watch where you’re going, brat.”

“Sorry!” Eren ran his hand behind his head sheepishly apologizing once more. He did not even know why he was the one apologizing. Yes, his mind had been wandering and he had stopped right in the middle of the street, so it had been partially his fault, but it was not his problem the man was so short and difficult to see.

Over the course of his time in the military, Eren had slowly become accustomed to other people deferring to him, not the other way around, but there was something arresting about the way the man comported himself. Those steely grey eyes gave nothing away and the black undercut was styled without a hair out of place. From the brief contact, Eren had with the man he knew that the stranger’s height was deceptive and hid the man’s strength. The brunet was not overly toned, but years with the maneuver gear had hardened his body, and yet the dark-haired man did not even flinch or stagger when their bodies had made contact.

“Auntie Mikasa!” A small blur dashed out from behind the stranger and tried to hug Mikasa, but a strong arm reached out and grabbed the child.

“Oi, brat. What’d I tell you about manners?” The criticism was harsh. Although Eren was not the one receiving it, he flinched as that same hand reached out and flicked the child between his eyes. Eren feared the boy was going to cry, but there was something in the surly man’s behavior that belied warmth and affection.

“I’m sorry, but I just wanted to see Mikasa.”

“That’s Aunt Mikasa, brat.”

“… auntie Mikasa.” The boy turned around, rubbing the faintly pink spot on his forehead. Eren felt his heart stop. The child was perhaps four to five years of age, with a tanned heart-shaped face, sparkling green eyes, and a mop of black hair. Eren was temporarily taken aback at how similar the features were to his own. Aside from the inky blackness of his hair, it was almost as if he was staring at a younger version of himself. “Papa, who is this?”

_Papa…_

Eren was not sure why, but the word felt like a droplet of water hitting a placid surface. The clear rippling tones rang through his ears in a way he had never experienced. It was such an ordinary and short two-syllable word, yet this time the sound seemed to resonate through him, piercing the brunet to the core.

Shaking the sensation away, Eren figured he must have been going crazy after bumping into the dark-haired stranger. Or perhaps it was from the shock that the child and his father seemed to be relatives of his adopted sister. They certainly looked similar to Mikasa, especially the older man with his jet-black hair and steely eyes.

“No clue. Why don’t you ask your aunt?” There was a small nudge towards Mikasa, who hung a few steps back, eyes guarded and assessing the situation. “She seems to know him.”

“Okay…” The young boy who looked to be around five years of age skipped off to Mikasa’s side, tugging at her sleeve. Eren watched as his sister leaned down to hug the small boy who pulled at her scarf. “Auntie Mikasa!”

The hustle and bustle of the marketplace seemed to fade out of view as he stared at the dark-haired man. The moment he laid eyes on said person, a wave of fleeting longing and stabbing sense of warmth seemed to fill him. Eren felt his eyes prickle with hot tears, but meeting the dark-haired man should not have elicited such feelings of yearning. There was a pounding sensation in his head. Rubbing his right temple, Eren wished the sensation would go away. He hadn’t been getting enough sleep lately and it had been getting to him.

He had never met the man before, and he certainly was not hurt from their chance collision, but the throbbing sensation only intensified when those slate grey orbs locked onto his eyes. There was probably just some dust in his eyes.

“So… err… you know Mikasa, huh?” Blinking the wetness away, Eren was not sure what to say given how the stranger did not seem to want to talk. He was not used to dealing with such people and hearing them address Mikasa as the boy’s aunt was confusing to say the least. He had never known his sister to have any other family, and Eren was sure that had been the case before this encounter.

“What about it, brat?”

The stranger’s expression was shuttered, guarded, preventing even the smallest glimpse into his thoughts. Eren thought there was a brief flitter of emotion when the man had first looked him over, but it vanished just as quickly. The blankness on this man’s face was even better than Mikasa’s nonchalance and he had seen his sister manage to confound even the most diligent of men with her expressionless face. Eren had known his sister for almost all his life, so it made sense he could read her better than others did, but the short, dark-haired stranger was even more of a mystery to him.

“Don’t call me that. Do you know–” Eren paused, crossing his arms. Just because he apologized did not mean the man could get away with addressing him so informally. If the man knew who he was, well… the thought of abusing his rank sat unwell with him so he let the thought die. “…never mind."

“Tch, what’s your name then… _brat_?” There was a ghost of a smirk on those thin lips and the infernal man seemed to take perverse pleasure in riling him up. Even those previously flat eyes seemed to light up a bit.

“Eren. Eren Yeager.” The brunet sighed, reigning in his frustration. Armin had told him that he needed to stop acting like the fifteen-year-old hothead he had been when he had first joined the military. Eren was trying to do his best, but he felt like things were easier when he had been a mere cadet instead of a squad leader. He held out his hand to the stranger, who looked at it for a moment before reluctantly adjusting the bag in his arm and giving it a good shake.

The man’s hand was cool to the touch, but his grip was firm and unwavering. Even though the brunet had no idea what the stranger did for a living, Eren had enough experience to know that the man did something with his hands or at least had done something with them. The calluses and toughened skin were consistent with all those who had trained long enough with the Legion. The handshake was cursory and ended quickly after.

“Nice to meet you…?”

“Levi.” Then as if unwilling to elaborate, the dark-haired male exhaled a small breath. “Ackerman.”

Levi Ackerman.

“Levi… nice to meet you, Levi.” It was a little unusual but the name fit, rolling off Eren’s tongue with what seemed like practiced ease. It might have been rude to address the man by his first name – almost everyone in the military went by their last names – but it didn’t feel right calling the older man ‘Mr. Ackerman.’ At least the man’s last name seemed to explain the relation to his sister. They were both Ackermans. “Ackerman. You and Mikasa must be related, right? Sharing the same last name and everything?”

Eren didn’t know what he was doing or saying. The sound of the man’s name seemed to dislodge some faint memory in the recesses of his brain, but it was like hitting a bell, which boomed loudly once, before ringing faintly into an abyss devoid of sound. Ignoring the forgotten sensation, the brunet figured Mikasa might have mentioned him in passing before, and he had simply forgotten. It was unlike him to forget that his sister had found some long-lost family, but with how busy his day-to-day life was in the Legion, Eren was not particularly surprised. He would make sure to ask her soon though.

The only reply he received was a small grunt.

“Umm…” Eren felt foolish standing there, trying his best not to stare at the taciturn man. If Eren had not heard the boy address Levi as ‘papa’ or Mikasa as ‘auntie,’ he might have guessed the man was only in his late teens given how short he was. But the man’s voice was definitely not that of a teenager. The deep, rough tone had inadvertently sent a tremor down his spine.

It was difficult to reconcile the man standing before him as someone older than twenty years of age, however. Connie was the shortest guy the brunet knew, but Levi was even shorter than that. His friend was still short, but Connie had shot up a hand’s worth in the last few years. Although Eren might normally have called someone out on it, something about Levi’s demeanor made him second-guess his idea of prodding fun at the dark-haired man’s height. Glancing at the large brown bag, which almost came up to the older man’s chin, he wondered if the dark-haired man needed help with the bag. They had bumped into each other after all.

“Do you want me to help you with that?”

The cutting look he received immediately told him it had been an unwise question. He supposed that given how Levi was able to support the bag with only one arm, it was either very light or didn’t bother him in least. In fact, the dark-haired man almost seemed offended that Eren would ask.

Before the tense moment could continue any longer, the boy – Levi’s son – scampered back to his father’s side. “Papa! Papa! Auntie Mikasa says she’s going to bring me to the park!”

Their eyes broke apart as Levi turned to face his son, ruffling those dark locks affectionately.

“Tch, brat. You know better than to annoy Mikasa when she’s out with her friends.”

“But Papa…” The boy’s face fell and he whined. “…please?”

“Why don’t you ask him…?” There was a small nudge as Levi pointed towards him. “Eirian this is… Eren.” Even though they had just newly met, the brunet could almost detect a note of discordance in the small phrase. It was understandable given how they had only just met and almost immediately gotten off on the wrong foot. “He’s your aunt’s friend.”

Figuring that Levi was simply cautious of him, a complete stranger, being around his child, Eren let the reference of being Mikasa’s friend slide. Normally, he would have corrected someone if he or she said such a thing, since she was also his sister. However, he did not know if Levi and Mikasa were close or whether she had disclosed his identity as her adopted brother to Levi. If she had not, the latter explanation would make complete sense. And since Levi was Eirian’s father, it was only natural for the dark-haired man to decide whether and how they wanted to introduce him. It was completely possible that the boy might only be confused at the appearance of an uncle he had never met before.

“Eren, my son, Eirian.” Eren blinked at the name. It sounded too similar to his. From the uncanny resemblance between him and Eirian, to Levi and Mikasa being relatives, it was mildly unsettling how there were so many coincidences or strange happenstances in this one meeting. The brunet might be able to swallow the relationship to Mikasa, a young boy that looked like him, or someone with a similar sounding name, but all three at once was a little difficult. Maybe he was just going crazy from the stress of training the new cadets and reading too much into things; that had been his original reason for taking a day off with Mikasa to visit the market and see the Outer Wall.

“Hi Eren!” Those green eyes beamed up at him full of innocence and childish desire. It immediately touched his heart. “Soo… Are you here to play with me like Auntie Mikasa does?”

“Sure.” Even if that was not his original intention for going out, he was unable to deny the request. Crouching down so that he was face to face with the young boy, he smiled. The bright smile on Eirian’s face, beaming at him, tugged on his heartstrings. Besides, he had already taken the day off and Eren could not think of any downside in spending time with the boy. “As long as your papa doesn’t mind.”

“Papa! Papa! Can Eren come with us?”

“Tch, spoiled brat.” Eren watched as Levi affectionately slapped his son on the head lightly. Eirian let out a little noise, but the boy didn’t really seem to mind. Grey eyes flickered over him once more, assessing and questioning, before turning back to his son. “Fine.”

“Yay! Can we go to the park now? I wanna show Eren the tree!”

“Not so fast Eirian. I need to go home and drop this off first.”

“Did you hear that, Eren? We’re going to the park!” His father’s words did not even seem to register as the dark-haired boy ran back to Eren and grabbed his hand. Eirian attempted to drag him in the direction of what he presumed was the park, and he reluctantly walked a few steps. Eirian was completely different from his father. Levi seemed to be the distrustful type, while the small dark-haired boy was anything but. Small hands had grabbed onto his hand, confidently as if they had known each other for longer than the one-minute interaction he had had.

Eren let himself move forward a few steps, dragged along by the small boy.

“Oi brat, what did I say about running off again?”

“But papa… you’re so slow!” Eirian turned around to complain at the dark-haired man who scowled.

The rest of the journey to the park proceeded fairly smoothly. Eirian had instantly taken a liking to him, as he had towards the boy, retelling stories about his father with great gusto. Mikasa had also been dragged hand-in-hand by her loquacious nephew. There seemed to be no end to the number of tales Eirian had to tell them. Ones such as how they rode horses once or how his papa held his cup funny. Eirian’s desire to go to the park only grew after Levi had finished putting things away at home, which turned out to be a teashop, and they departed for their afternoon destination. Although Eren had not had much interaction with young children, he had been the boy’s age at one point, and Eirian’s antics simply reminded him of his childhood spent with Mikasa and Armin.

“Eren! Look!” The dark-haired boy had woven easily through the branches and was now sitting and swinging his legs from atop a sturdy branch.

Waving to Eirian, Eren had been worried when the boy had first taken off to climb the tree. It was frightening watching the youngster nimbly make his way up, but when both Mikasa and Levi did not seem too concerned with Eirian’s antics, he had relaxed a little. As a boy he had done similar risky actions and they had always scared his mother, but it seemed Eirian was very well-acquainted with the tree given how quickly he climbed it.

“You’re smiling a lot, brother.” Glancing at Mikasa, he smiled at the gentle expression on her face. It had been years since he had seen his sister so happy. Even as a child, Mikasa had not smiled often, but she seemed to be doing it more frequently with Eirian was around.

“Well Eirian is pretty adorable.”

“Mmm…”

“I didn’t know you had a cousin.” There was a strange gleam in his sister’s eyes as she adjusted the scarf around her mouth. “I thought all your family died.”

Eren did not know what to think about Mikasa holding secrets back from him, especially secrets of such a large magnitude. For as long as he had known her, she had not had any family aside from her mother and father, who were both dead. However, the middle of the park was neither the time nor place to discuss private matters. He did not know his sister’s cousin – his cousin-in-law or something, Eren supposed – well enough to talk about such private matters in front of him.

“We only found each other a few years ago.” Glancing at the dark-haired man who stood a few feet away watching his son play in the tree, Eren wondered how they had met. Mikasa spent most of her time in the Scouting Legion, either training or doing other related things, and he had never seen Levi around headquarters or the battlefield. Further, the older man did not seem like the type to socialize much, making it even harder for him to guess where or when they had met.

“How did you guys meet?”

He received a level expression from Mikasa. His sister’s eyes flickered to Levi and then back to him, studying them for a moment. Eren was confused at her silence, before she brought her scarf to her mouth and muttered something.

“Our uncle’s journal.”

Despite still being lost on the details, he nodded. It was as close to an answer he would be able to get from her. His sister was never the type to disclose details and other private information and it seemed the trait also rang true for her cousin.

The man was the very definition of taciturn. On their way here, he had barely spoken a word, only interrupting to scold his son. There were a few grunts or snorts that Eren had taken to mean he was either agreeing or disagreeing, but it was difficult to tell the difference when the man’s pale face didn’t change expression. Given how talkative Eirian was, however, Eren could understand why the man did not say much; even the brunet found it difficult at times to put a word in edgewise. It was also possible that Eirian had gained the habit of talking since his father was so reserved.

“So is this where you go on Sundays?” He had seen his sister vanish on a good number of Sundays during the day, only to return to headquarters sometime in the evening. Knowing Mikasa, she had her reasons, so he had never really bothered asking. Besides, he had been fairly busy with the all the paperwork and training that he only had time to talk with her and Armin in the evenings lately. “To visit Levi and Eirian?”

“Yes.” It was difficult to tell how close Mikasa and Levi were, given how quiet they both were, but Eren supposed that if his sister visited every few Sundays, they had to be at least somewhat close.

Eren knew how important family was to Mikasa. She had lost her parents early on, which was why his parents had adopted her. However, she had lost them too. After that, he had been his sister’s major support and she had been his. They had survived the titan attack on Shiganshina, seen the destruction it wrought, which was what had made them want to join the Scouting Legion.

Now Mikasa was one of the best soldiers the Legion had to offer. In fact, Eren was pretty sure she might be even able to defeat _Humanity’s Strongest_ if he hadn’t already perished in battle against the Beast titan. However, she never flaunted her skills and kept to herself for the most part. It was understandable given what they had gone through as children, but he always wanted her to find happiness. With her Asiatic features and quiet nature, there were a good number of soldiers who had asked Mikasa out. It wasn’t that she was necessarily demure, which was what they unfortunately thought when she didn’t talk much, but rather due to what had happened in her childhood. She could be, and was, fierce when the situation arose. Even if it was not a lover or family of her own, Eren was glad his sister had found some members of her extended family, especially given how happy she seemed, watching and listening to her nephew.

The brunet knew his parents were both single children and doubted he would have the fortuity to find someone who he could call cousin or a blood relative anytime soon. Eren had tried dating once or twice, but between training his squad and the risk of death on expedition, any potential relationship had ended rather quickly. Now that he had been sucked into the orbit of familial love between a father and son, he wondered if he would be able to experience that himself one day.


	3. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some downtime between Mikasa and Levi. Eirian's heritage is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tag should be technically "mentioned mpreg" or "past mpreg" or something, but implied was the closest fit... so apologies if it's not perfectly tagged. The angst will start up heavily next chapter. Enjoy!

“Levi we should tell Eren.” She frowned at her cousin and former Captain. Although Mikasa initially had her reservations about the plan, she reluctantly agreed it was for the best. Ever since Eren had used the Coordinate, there had been no further threats against his life. Everyone had forgotten her brother’s abilities as a shifter and Levi’s existence. History had been rewritten, and they were the only two that remembered any of what had truly happened.

“Why? It’s safer this way and it’s not like he’d remember.” Levi pinched the bridge of his nose at the question, and she only sighed. The issue of whether to return Eren’s memories or not was a sore spot between them. It was impossible to know what would happen if Eren remembered. One case would be that only Eren would remember, but on the other hand, it might also trigger his Coordinate to restore everyone else’s memory and condemn her brother to an even worse fate. And since her brother was the one with the Coordinate, there was no telling what the fallout would be. The ramifications could be catastrophic.

In the best-case scenario, Eren and all those around them would be able to remember, and they could finally get the peace they had always dreamed of. There would be no more reason to hunt her brother and there would be those around him to help protect his secret. But as much as Mikasa wished it were possible, the chance of this happening was slim.

The worst-case scenario, in which all of humanity would remember that Eren was a titan shifter and want him dead, was more likely. The consequences could only be worse now if his ability to alter memories and control titans came to light. If she didn’t know Eren as well as she did and if he weren’t her brother, Mikasa could understand why one might demand an execution. There would be no telling whether someone’s knowledge or feelings were true or if they were being influenced by the Coordinate’s powers.

However, she did know Eren and she knew he was and would always be fiercely devoted to humanity and the extermination of titans, even if his rashness sometimes made him do stupid things. Sadly, not everyone thought the same as she did. There were too many that were afraid of a power they could not control, and after all that had transpired with the titan shifters who had infiltrated and hidden in their midst, it was unlikely her brother would be allowed to survive.

“But, what about Eirian…” Seeing the boy spending time with both his parents reminded Mikasa of both her biological and adopted parents. One of the things she wished she had more of was time with them when she was younger. Nothing could replace the loss of one’s mother or father. Levi wasn’t the best father material, but at least he tried hard to be a proper one. And then there was Eren, who didn’t even know he had son.

“What about him?”

She could see the strain in his face as the dark-haired man ran a hand through his hair. Eren’s key hung dully around his neck. Since Levi had left the military five years ago to raise Eirian, there was a constant sorrowful look in his gaze whenever the brunet’s name came up.

“Are you sure you don’t want him to know his father?”

“Tch, he already knows his father.”

“You know what I’m talking about, Levi.” She glared at her cousin. Levi had adamantly refused every time, and it had now become a common argument between them. Eren and their former commander had been the only two individuals she had known to be able to persuade the man to do anything.

It had been a chaotic period following that fateful battle against the titan shifters. With the former commander, Erwin, and a large portion of the Scouting Legion dead or declared MIA, there were only a handful of them to pick up the pieces. The only upside to the battle was that the titan attacks had gradually slowed. It was unclear if they had managed to lop off the head of the serpent, but no one was complaining if they did. The titans that came afterwards were much easier to deal with, even with the Scouting Legion’s limited numbers. There were a few fifteen meter ones, but they were more or less mindless beasts. Compared to titan shifters like Annie who could harden, it was much easier dealing with them.

Unfortunately, the basement had been destroyed in the battle, which meant they would never be able to find out Grisha’s secret. As disheartening as it was, over the next few weeks, the Scouting Legion slowly began the process of grieving and rebuilding. It was long and tedious, and there were rumors of disbanding the Legion given how Erwin was no longer the commander and they numbered only a small handful. Thankfully, those died out soon after it became apparent that Hange was equally as skilled at navigating the political world. No one would have expected it, but the former squad leader knew many military secrets and used it to their advantage on the negotiating table. Further, although the Garrison had some experience dealing with titans, they had nowhere near the same amount of experience or training that the Legion had when it came to killing them. The titan threat still existed just beyond the walls, but the scars of what a breach the wall cost them were still fresh on everyone’s mind.

It was in the middle of this highly chaotic and uncertain period that they discovered Eren was several months pregnant and had been even before the fight for Shiganshina. It might have been the stress or because Eren was a male, but many of the typical symptoms were suppressed, which was why it taken several weeks for anyone to notice that her brother’s weight was increasing and his appetite was changing. Apparently before Erwin’s death, Hange had been experimenting on shifter reproduction and it had surprisingly borne fruit. Mikasa had known her brother was intimate with Captain Levi, but hearing that Eren was carrying another man’s child was still a blow to her. But knowing how much stress and anxiety her feelings caused her brother, she kept mum about it.

She respected Levi’s abilities in battle and his drive to protect Eren, but learning that her brother was pregnant with the Captain’s child was another issue entirely. It had come as an utter surprise and back then, Mikasa wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Unfortunately, there was nothing any of them was able to do. No one knew what forcefully cutting out the growing fetus would do or if it was even possible with Eren’s regenerative capabilities, and they certainly weren’t going to risk it. Something would have to be figured out with respect to the birth, but back then, all any of them could do was sit and wait. There were far too many things going on that needed attention and this was merely one of them.

Out of fear of reprisal, they kept it a well-guarded secret between the three of them, Hange, and Armin. After it had become impossible to hide, they had moved Eren to a small cabin in the outskirts. Levi went with him under the excuse of another expedition, which had indeed happened, that had supposedly resulted in the Captain being injured and Eren taking care of him since they could not be apart. It was not a complete lie, her cousin _had_ been injured with a few broken ribs, but it wasn’t anything that should have warranted Levi and Eren living alone, aside from the Captain complaining about how unsanitary it was in the hospital. Mikasa, Hange, and Armin visited them on occasion, but that too was kept at a minimum. There were already suspicions that the Captain’s injuries were not as extreme as they had made it out to be, but no one had wanted to test them on it, afraid of Levi’s anger if it was the case.

As shocked as they all were at the news, Levi had recovered the quickest, or perhaps he had simply hidden it well with his stony face. Eren had come to accept the state of affairs of well. In fact, her brother had grown attached to the baby growing inside of him rather quickly. Often when she went to visit, Mikasa would hear her brother humming songs from their past and telling stories to his stomach.

But that wasn’t the crux of the problem.

Despite the large number of casualties, Historia’s efforts as Queen, and Eren’s efforts in the war against the titans, a large portion of the military and many nobles still felt threatened and were fearful of a titan shifter. Especially one that was on good terms with and under the control of the Scouting Legion. In their minds, with most of the titan threat outside the walls seemingly taken care of, there was a high chance that titan threat inside the walls would become a real one. The need for a titan shifter had diminished further after Hange’s new guillotine invention and reports that there had been fewer attacks from the titans. Word of Eren’s ability to control other titans had also gotten out, and it only roused the people further. Historia tried to stop them, but panic and fear spread among the populace, which resulted in the populace being divided between two factions.

It was against the backdrop of this chaos that they somehow managed to find and decipher the remnants of a journal left by her distant uncle of sorts, Kenny Ackerman. It detailed powers of the Coordinate they had never heard of and a history no one was aware of. Inside there were details of what the First King had done to gain power and how he was able to manipulate the memories of everyone, except a few families and bloodlines, to make them forget the truth. Both Levi and Mikasa were surprised to learn of their shared lineage and that their family, the Ackermans, once used to be advisors to and protectors of the king. But fearing their immunity to the Coordinate’s powers, the king had betrayed them and ordered them killed. It also allowed them to make sense of why they were both abnormally physically gifted and the physical resemblance. Hange studied the journal extensively in secret, but they never tested Eren with the Coordinate, afraid of what might happen to the child.

A few months later, Eren gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Her brother and cousin quickly adjusted to raising their son, Eirian, who resembled Eren more than Levi. Eirian was loved by everyone who knew him. His twinkling green eyes and gummy smiles charmed even the fiercest hearts. The Captain was surprisingly caring and coddled the child in a way no one had expected. Mikasa watched as her brother fell for the man a little more. Eren had even asked her about her opinions of Levi and marriage, and she had grudgingly admitted her midget cousin _might_ make a good husband.

After Eirian was about a month old, the peaceful life they had built was rudely shattered when Hange received a summons from the tribunal demanding that Eren appear before them yet again. Fear of the titan shifter still gripped many of those in power and there were rumors that the royalists were calling for his execution. But there was now an additional cause for concern. The entire Scouting Legion, Levi included, would not be spared if any word of Eirian’s existence leaked out. The tribunal would not care about killing a baby. Not only was the child a freak of nature, born from two males and potentially able to become another titan shifter, in their minds Eirian would _be_ a titan shifter.

The situation was direr than compared to the first time Eren had stood in front of the tribunal due to his identity as a titan shifter. Sentiment towards titans had always been negative, but it was now near rock bottom after seeking the destruction Annie and her fellow conspirators had caused. The tribunal had let Eren live largely because a titan on their side would aid in fixing the wall and repelling the titan threat. To a lesser degree, it was also because they had assurance that Levi would be able to deal with the threat when the time came. The former reason was largely inconsequential given how the Outer Wall was repaired and the enemy shifters were defeated, while the latter was in jeopardy given how Levi and Eren were in an intimate relationship.

Worried about their child, and at the urging of his friends and Hange, Eren eventually agreed to try to use the Coordinate. As much as she loathed it, Mikasa had to admit that if it worked, it was the safest option. They had briefly considered the alternative, which was for Eren to flee, but it was not a viable option. There was no safe refuge within the walls, and outside the walls was just as dangerous. Even worse, those who stayed behind would be considered as accomplices and could be executed.

The problem was that no one knew what would happen to Eren’s memory. Even if he was the one to use the Coordinate, her brother might not share the same purported immunity to memory alteration that Mikasa and Levi had from inheriting the Ackerman blood. Not knowing the limitations and how long it took to take effect, they decided it would be easier to erase all memories of Eren’s shifting abilities, Levi’s existence, and their time together, since the Captain wouldn’t be affected and someone needed to take care of Eirian. If Eren remembered, they could always change their plans, but there was no telling whether he would.

The next morning after a tearful final night with his son and Captain, Mikasa remembered watching as her brother woke up in the medical wing of the Scouting Legion. As they had feared, like the rest of them, Eren had lost his memory of what had happened. She found that seeing him and everyone else act as if it was normal, as if Levi or Eirian had never existed, both strange and heartbreaking. However, it was for the best. Mikasa had stayed behind because she could not bear to leave her brother. There was no need for her to vanish alongside Levi, and her remaining behind made it easier to keep an eye on Eren and deal with the aftermath. They had grown up together and their time together would mean rewriting almost the entirety of Eren’s past. That was the same day she had helped Levi disappear into the rest of the city with their son.

The former Captain now ran his own teashop, while raising his and Eren’s child, who grew more and more similar to her brother both in appearance and in personality. Mikasa visited her nephew all the time, and the two of them – she and Levi –had agreed to keep his existence from Eren for the time being. At first, they hadn’t wanted to tell Eren the truth and accidentally undo the Coordinate’s power, but now after all these years, Mikasa figured it was time. No one would forget about titan shifters after what had happened in Shiganshina, but no one suspected Eren of being one. The brunet was a squad leader like many others in the Legion, still a bit brash at times, but highly respected and skilled.

Mikasa and Levi both knew that Eren’s abilities had not just vanished; Hange had looked into the serum and could find no cure. Once injected, it was irreversible. One could learn to control the shifting, but other things like the speedy healing were automatic. Instead, after his memories were lost, all his titan abilities, healing included, seemed to have become dormant, much like those few years before Eren had joined the military. It was always possible that a near-fatal injury might cause it to flare up again, and it was lucky that her brother had not gotten any of those in the last few years. The last thing either of them wanted or needed was for the public to know Eren’s identity as a titan shifter. The brunet still healed normally when it came to cuts and scrapes, but those first few times had been nerve-wracking for Mikasa, wondering whether her brother’s wounds were going to steam up and heal magically. Although it had been part and parcel of what they had wished for when Eren used the Coordinate, it was upsetting to know that her brother was now more vulnerable to harm and could die that much easier without remembering about the son he had left behind.

That thought was what drove Mikasa to urge her cousin to jumpstart Eren’s memory. Even if Levi did not feel the same towards her brother, she still wanted her nephew to know his other parent and for her brother to know Eirian.

Mikasa wanted to Eren to have his son in his life. It was obvious to her that her cousin was fearful that without his position as Captain and Eren’s missing memories, that Eren would not want to be with him anymore. Aside from the color of his hair, who the child might have gotten from anyone, and slightly paler skin, which might have been because Levi hated the sun or because of all the time he had spent in the Underground, Eirian looked more like Eren than her cousin.

As much as Mikasa had hated Levi initially, she had come to respect him after the time they spent working together to take down the Female titan. They would never be that close, but they had an amicable relationship now. Having a shared past and knowing how hard he worked to raise Eirian also helped bridge that gap. Despite his poor childhood, he had done a fairly good job raising her nephew. Eren had shared facets of their Captain’s past back when he was trying to persuade her of their relationship and Kenny’s journal had revealed more of what life had been for Levi under their uncle’s tutelage.

“If not for your son, then do it for Eren’s sake. He would have wanted to be part of Eirian’s life.”

“Tch, why? Seeing Eirian or me didn’t do anything to his memory. The brat can’t even remember his own son.” Narrowing her eyes in anger, Mikasa knew her cousin was only lashing out, but Levi was not the only one hurting. The older man had not been there when Eren had made Mikasa promise to look after the two of them – Levi and Eirian – if he could not be around. It was difficult without her brother around to mediate the situation, but they managed to put aside their differences for Eirian’s sake.

Even if her brother did not know about his son, Mikasa had seen how attached her nephew had grown to Eren this afternoon. It was not surprising. Outside of herself and Levi, Eirian didn’t have that many friends or family. There were a few kids around the neighborhood, but mostly they were busy helping their own families. Further, she knew her cousin would and had sometimes accidentally rubbed other parents and members of the community in the wrong way with his strict demeanor and dislike of dirt, which might have inadvertently isolated Eirian.

Her heart ached knowing that the afternoon in the park would have been almost the perfect family outing except that Eren did not know his son and Eirian did not know his father. Eren had indulged almost all the boy’s whims unless Levi stepped in. It was rare to see her nephew so enthused; the air around him practically vibrated with energy. Mikasa only wished it would continue. Eirian had been sad when Eren left with a promise of coming back, and the only thing the boy had talked about through dinner was all the fun he had had with her brother.

“You know why he can’t remember. Just give Eren a chance. Even you weren’t blind to how happy Eirian was when Eren played with him.”

Although the Coordinate had fixed the problem of Eren’s existence as a titan shifter, neither of them could have predicted how much history had changed. Identities were replaced with those that never existed. At first, it had been difficult to watch Eren being treated and living so _normally_ among the rest of them at headquarters. It was better this way, but it only reminded Mikasa of all that her brother had to give up to reach his dreams of being a soldier in the Scouting Legion.

Her cousin did not say a word, only picking up his tea and taking a slow sip.


	4. Me without You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst anyone? I'm sorry. :'(

Sighing as the brat’s annoying-as-fuck sister finally left, Levi leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. It was difficult to remember the last time he had a proper night’s rest. Most likely, it had been before hell broke loose and forced Eren to use the Coordinate. Over the years, Levi had certainly considered what might happen if he were to bump into the titan shifter somewhere, but he never gave it any serious thought. The chances were of the shifter engaging him in conversation, given how he hated it, was abysmal, and the dark-haired man had taken great care to avoid Eren whenever possible. He certainly wasn’t prepared for their chance meeting. Naturally, it was the damned brat’s fault for not watching where he was going, but seeing that cheeky grin and sparking eyes once more had resurrected things Levi hadn’t thought about in a long time.

Hopes and desires he had wiped clean, attempting to forget, since they only highlighted how bleak life was without the brat.

Dreams he had ruthlessly torn apart, thinking them futile.

Wishes for a future that would never come.

The feelings which had always been there, merely buried behind walls and frozen over with endless layers of frost, came rushing back. Levi could almost hear the cracks in the sheet of ice encasing his heart and their shared memories. The more he remembered, the faster the ice was chipped away. It shone a light on all those things he had hidden away. At least only a few pebbles had been dislodged from this encounter; anymore and he did not know how he would bear it.

It had been painful watching Eren play with their son. He kept longing and almost expecting the brunet to act and behave as he had five years ago. Sometimes when Levi managed to fall asleep, he would dream of what life might have been like if Eren was never a shifter and they visited whatever the fuck an ‘ocean’ was, but then waking up and finding that it was all an illusion, made him even hollower inside. Traces of the brat he knew remained, yet it wasn’t the same hardheaded brat from five years ago given how Eren treated him like a stranger.

The brat always had a way of disrupting the status quo in the dark-haired man’s life. The former Captain’s life had been simple before he met Eren – wake up, train, clean, and the shitty paperwork Erwin forced on him – but the moment he was charged with monitoring the brat, things were never the same. Even though years had passed since they had exchanged any words, Levi had never been able to completely wipe Eren’s existence. He had been able to accept the state of affairs, but it had been temporary. The moment Eren asked who he was, all the pain came back.

If Levi had been twenty or so years younger, spending time with a five-year-old boy whose father was a dark-haired short midget with horrible rings around his eyes and a penchant for foul language would be dead last on his list of things to do. If not for Eirian’s presence, he would have ignored the brat altogether and avoided spending the afternoon with Eren. Even then, they had barely talked.

After all this time, Levi did not know what to say. There were so many things he wanted to say, to ask, and to know about his former subordinate, but many of those things would not be appropriate. In Eren’s mind, today had been their first-time meeting. Levi would be lucky if the brat considered him an acquaintance. In reality, they were nothing but strangers. Merely two people whose paths bisected one another for a moment, whose existence was nothing special. They lived in different timelines and had different pasts. Although Levi’s brain understood why what they had shared in the past might never happen again, his heart refused to keep up with reality. Every day it beat in tandem with the clock’s ticking, waiting for something that would not happen.

Even _if_ the current Eren was physically the same person, in Levi’s eyes it was not the same bright-eyed titan shifter he had known. The brat he had known was rash, always impatient and overly eager to kill titans, while young man standing in front him was anything but. He was taller, older, and his face had matured over time. What Levi found most striking, however, was how the shadows and bloodlust in those blue-green eyes had faded. The person standing in front of him was an attractive young man in the prime of his youth who radiated maturity. Eren had grown up and now fit the role of a Scouting Legion squad leader, not the shitty brat who chased after and idolized his Captain – a Captain who no longer existed in his memory.

It did not seem like the Eren he knew would ever return.

If only for a sliver of time within the endless stream of eternity, Levi wished he could see _his_ Eren once more, instead of the one who looked at him as if he was an absolute stranger. Feel the brunet’s heart beat under his palms. See that bright smile that brought sunshine to the darkest of nights. Hear that voice on the cusp of maturity call out his name, the gentle snores as the brat slept, and the quiet humming as Eren rocked Eirian to sleep.

But wishing for such a thing would not make it true. Levi had lived through enough hardships to know it was futile to dream.

Levi still remembered _that_ day with clear-cut clarity. As much as he hated the thought, he had been able to rationally consider the risks and benefits of using the Coordinate to rewrite memories and history; it had only been through sheer force of will that he managed to push his emotions aside. Somewhere he had held onto the smallest thread of hope that Eren would somehow be able to hang onto and remember. But when those blue-green eyes fluttered open asking where he was and who he was, it hurt more than he had ever thought possible. It was worse than what he felt when Farlan and Isabel died. Back then, he still had vengeance, but seeing Eren hale and hearty, yet not remembering him, hurt. It felt like someone had torn his heart out of his chest and cleaved it into two. Levi wanted to die. To sink into a void where he would not need to know that Eren had forgotten, where there was still light in the world and he still had a reason for living.

The previous day, which he had spent with Eren, listening to the brat plan for their future and flying through the air amongst the trees, seemed only a memory. It wasn’t much of a date or anything special, but Levi had hoped the promise they had made in the woods that day would hold true. He knew he would never feel the same way for another, but there was no telling whether it was true for Eren. It was very likely that without his memories, the brat would move on. It wasn’t like there was anything substantially different in the past Levi remembered and the past the rest of them knew, aside from the fact that one was a lie.

All of them, Hange included, had taken special care of moving as much of the information they had on Levi and Eren being a titan shifter to a secure location if the Coordinate did work. They did not want any of it leaking out and sparking more debate. Once he and Mikasa had come to conclude that the memory alteration had set in, they had piled a bonfire in the Outer Walls, burning years of precious research on titan shifters specific to Eren, diaries of both of them, and as many mentions of his identity as possible. It was not possible to obtain everything, but people could simply replace _Humanity’s Strongest_ with some nameless stranger, and they had instructed Eren to build a failsafe that _Humanity’s Strongest_ had died in the most recent expedition. It was not perfect and it would certainly blacken the hearts of many, but it was commonplace for soldiers to die at the hands of titans. Similarly, they had replaced Eren’s identity with memories of having captured and experimented on the Female Shifter.

After the shock, he had exited the room rather quickly and let Mikasa take over. Levi didn’t care if his cousin had seen him on the verge of tears, but with every passing second spent in the room, he wished he could have just as easily forgotten. But he hadn’t.

Eren was not the only one who looked at him as though he were a stranger; everyone else’s minds were similarly wiped clean. Levi was only glad they did not know who he was and why he was hollow inside as he walked away from the med bay. If not for Eirian, the dark-haired man might have believed that it was all a lie given how cleanly everyone but him seemed to forget. Even though he knew it was better this way, he wished it was not so.

Sometimes he wondered what would have happened if he had gone with the rash choice and decided to hunt down all those military dogs. It was unlikely to change anything, though. Even the title they had unofficially given the brat, _Humanity’s Last Hope_ , was a farce. They might not be able to retaliate or demand Eren’s execution so readily, but mankind would always fear a stranger in their midst and the other branches of the military would never fully trust the Scouting Legion for having control of titan shifter. Moreover, there was no telling what they would do if they knew the unique circumstances of Eirian’s birth. At least Eren was alive this way.

Every time he saw or heard of the Scouting Legion, his first thought was about Eren. With the brat’s brash attitude and tendency to rush headlong into things, Levi was worried that Eren was going to get himself killed without his titan powers. There was no telling whether how ingrained the habit of biting his hand had become and if it would be an issue. His second worry was on how powerless he was to stay behind and raise their son. If it had been someone else sitting back and raising their child, he would still be able to wipe the remaining titans easily. Many of the new recruits were still green, and the only reason the death toll had fallen was that Eren’s use of the Coordinate had an unintentional consequence of reducing the titan threat. Knowing that Mikasa would watch out for Eren was a relief, but it still did not curb the anxiety he felt each time he heard there was another casualty on the front lines.

That was not all.

Levi desperately wanted to rekindle what he had once shared with the brunet, but there was no telling how the years had changed things. Along with all the former brats who had once been under his wing, Eren had matured and filled out. The brat was now a good half-foot taller than Levi was and looked the part of a handsome young soldier, even if he was still a brat in Levi’s eyes. Sometimes when the dark-haired man ventured into town, he would hear gossip about the tall, green-eyed heartthrob from the Scouting Legion.

Part of his uncertainty was fear of the repercussions, but the other part was how Eren felt about him. There was a quiet bark of self-ruinous laughter as he considered the subject of his thoughts. Who knew that Levi Ackerman, _Humanity’s Strongest_ , was afraid of a mere brat’s feelings?

Back when he was the Captain and Eren was his subordinate, there was no doubt in his mind that the brat respected and looked up to him. The brat was like a puppy dog trailing after him back then. It had been nothing more than a youth’s admiration at first though. They had circled around each other for months before finally connecting, and the circumstances were unique when they first had breached that invisible boundary of superior and subordinate. In the midst of grieving for the death of his squad at the hands of the Female titan, they had sought each other out for comfort, and it had only grown from there. If it had been anyone else, Levi doubted the result would have been the same.

Their physical closeness had come about because he was responsible for making sure the titan shifter did not go berserk. Whenever Eren was not chained down in the basement or undergoing experiments with Hange, there was a high chance he would be training or cleaning under Levi’s supervision. Although the vast majority of their time together was spent as superior and subordinate, it also meant they saw more of each other’s strengths and weaknesses. The brat might have enjoyed his company back then, being full of rage and regret, seeking vengeance for his dead mother, but now that Eren was a squad leader in his own right, none of that was true anymore.

Levi wasn’t the most important figure in Eren’s life anymore. Hell, in the last few years he had only caught glimpses of the brat whenever he brought Eirian to say farewell to Mikasa departing on another expedition. In fact, the former Captain had gone out of his way to avoid Eren. At first, it was because they did not want to risk trigger undoing the Coordinate’s work, but it became a matter of self-preservation on his part as more time elapsed. Avoiding Eren hurt, but seeing and hearing a brat who was not aware of what they once shared pained him even more. It was like reliving the pain of losing the brat over and over again.

The dark-haired male hated thinking about the possibility that Eren would meet and fall in love with some pretty girl or guy. Yet with each passing day, that became a harsh reality he had come to accept. It was inevitable that Eren would meet new people over time. The shifter would befriend some, annoy a few others, but it wasn’t as though the brat was waiting for him anymore. Even if Eren’s memories came back, there was no knowing whether the brunet would choose his former Captain again or whether he would treat Levi as something that had been.

Their relationship had been severed for Eren the moment his memories were overwritten, but it had never stopped for Levi. They were two individuals living in two different times in more ways than one. His time had never frozen, it continued while Eren’s had iced over and was remade anew. Even if their paths crossed, which it had, that gulf remained. The chasm wasn’t something that could be easily overcome either. They came from utterly different walks of life now.

He had returned to being a mere nobody. Instead of a street rat, he was now a simple man with a son, running a shop. If he died, there would be no state funeral or solemn praises sang. There would be no one aside from Eirian and Mikasa, though the latter was arguable, who would mourn his death. That would not be the case for Eren. The brunet was a squad leader with the Scouting Legion and even if Mikasa was the only family member he had in Eren’s mind, at the very least, the brat’s name would be engraved on the hearts of many within the Legion.

Eren had been his happiness. Now that Eren wasn’t by his side, if the brunet was healthy and happy with his life, then as much as it pained him, the least Levi could do was wish him the best with all his heart.

It was ironic that their second meeting put them in opposite roles than their first. In the first one, he had been the one to hurt Eren – physically – but now it was the other way around. Even if it was unintentional, their first exchange, of Eren asking who he was, cut him to the core. Levi thought he was prepared for the eventuality, given how Mikasa kept suggesting that Eren meet Eirian, even if only as an uncle. But he wasn’t. All those years of interacting with the brat had come back, and he was not able to help but act in the way he had towards Eren when they were still Captain and subordinate. Levi knew he hadn’t made a good impression, or at least he could have made a better one, but there were too many things he was afraid of saying or doing. There was no telling how Eren would react or if it would undo the seal on his memories.

If the titan shifter regained their shared past, there was no doubt that Eren would want to spend time with the son. Eirian had already become attached after one meeting and it was safe to say that Eren felt the same. The former Captain wanted his son to know who his mother, or rather father, whatever the hell one was supposed to call one’s other parent, was, but at the same time he was terrified that he would lose both of them in the process. After he lost Eren, having Eirian and knowing the brunet was safe was the only thing that kept him going. It relieved him to know that Mikasa would also be there watching over Eren, but Levi wished they didn’t need to be separated. Being in the Scouting Legion meant a continued risk of death. Even if Eren had his titan healing, which was a whole other issue, Levi hated sitting back feeling useless.

The first few weeks after losing Eren had been the most difficult. Eirian was constantly crying out for Eren, not knowing that the brunet wasn’t coming back. Thankfully, they had been able to pack up the fleece and sheets that Eren had slept on and the scent had calmed the infant down quite a bit. Levi wished he was able to do the same as his son and cry. But he was too battle-hardened to do so. Instead, his heart bled on the inside at the loss. Insomnia came back with a vengeance without Eren to warm his side, and he often found himself practicing with the swords in his spare time. He kept his gear – it was fitted to him anyways – just in case of emergency, and Mikasa would bring him spare gas once in a while, so his skills never faded.

When it became clear that Captain Levi of the Scouting Legion, _Humanity’s Strongest_ , was completely erased from the minds of people, Mikasa helped them venture back into one of the small towns being resettled in the Outer Wall. Many people were still nervous of the possibility of another titan attack and losing their homes again, so only the bravest were willing to venture out. As a result, things were rather chaotic and plenty of space was available, making it rather easy to appropriate a building all to himself.

It had taken time to decide what he wanted to do. Levi did not have many skills aside from those acquired in the Underground or killing titans. The former was illegal and he knew Eren would never forgive him – nor would he forgive himself – for exposing Eirian to anything of the sort, while he had left the latter behind. Although Levi had learned how to read and write as a matter of necessity when dealing with paperwork, he hated exercising them. In the end, it had been his love of black tea that made him open the shop. There was no other supplier in the town or towns around him, and he didn’t want to wait for Mikasa to bring him back some from the city.

Although tea was still very much a luxury item, the wide-open space and his skills with horses and maneuver gear meant he was able to venture out and collect leaves for the shop. The exercise also helped him clear his mind from all that he had lost. Over time, more people migrated into the Outer Walls and although it was nowhere close to being a full-fledged city, the number of people in town had grown. Just like his shop had. It had taken some time and business would never be as profitable given how unfriendly he was, but being one of the few purveyors of tea, the only one in the area, there had not been much competition and business had been steady. In fact, his shop had been self-sustaining for the last two years, enough so that he was able to take a day or two off each week to spend time with his son.

It wasn’t uncommon to see children growing up without one or both parents given all the battles and titan attacks previously, and their situation was no different. It was difficult raising Eirian without Eren by his side and Mikasa tried to help out as best as possible. Killing titans, Levi could do without question, but raising a mini-brat was a whole can of worms by itself. His childhood had been spent in a shitty hellhole and he wished to give Eirian something worth looking back and smiling on at the very least. Even if Eirian complained about him being too harsh, he wanted to raise his son right. Levi had lacked both the proper nutrients and education when growing up, and he certainly wanted his son to have them. Having no role models to call upon either, he had rather reluctantly accepted the assistance of his neighbors. Although it was tiring dealing with them, he was grateful for their help.

The boy was growing like a weed. Levi would not be surprised if Eirian eventually towered over him. It would not be difficult given how tall Eren had gotten and how short he was unfortunately. He tried not to spoil the brat much, but it was difficult since Eirian only had one parent. The dark-haired man didn’t know if it was just because Eirian had too much of Eren in him, but their son was growing up to resemble as much of a brat as the brunet had been. Eirian was always bursting with energy. He could barely stay seated for a few minutes without wanting to dashing off somewhere. Once in a while Levi would be able to give Eirian a book and he would read it without much fuss, although he would ask many questions throughout, and then regurgitate everything he liked about it afterwards.

He had also begun teaching Eirian a few self-defense moves from his time in the Legion, nothing too complicated lest it raise questions, but enough that Eirian would be able to keep himself safe. The boy was a natural learner, picking it up without a fuss and improving by leaps and bounds. It must have been the Ackerman blood.

Teaching his son to clean up after himself was another issue altogether. He had finally managed to teach Eirian that finishing dinner was necessary and how to properly wash his hands. It had been stressful given how the brat never seemed to sit still and his hands were always filthy, either from playing outside or whatever he was doing. At least the boy didn’t seem to have a problem with water and was able to clean himself up fairly well. Cleaning his room, on the other hand, would take some more time.

Levi shivered as a cold breeze came in from the window. Standing up, he glanced out into the darkness dotted with small pinpricks of light. One might have expected that after spending endless nights on the edge of despair, waiting for the sun rise over the horizon, he would have become used to the sensation. But it never got any easier for him. At one point, Eren had become his _raison d'etre_ , his anchor in a bottomless sea, and now that was gone. Sometimes all the dark-haired man wanted to do was close his eyes and be free. But if there was something Levi was not, he was not a quitter. Plus, if he made a promise, he would see it through. Eirian already lost one parent, and he certainly did not want to subject his son to losing another. But sometimes in the dead of night with only his thoughts to keep him company, it was difficult for his eyes to see clear.

Thankfully if there was one thing Levi was good at, it was hiding behind a façade that he was okay. The dark-haired man spent so much time behind it that it was difficult to know whether that was the case anymore. Since leaving the Underground, Eren had been the only one to fully see the man behind the mask, but now there was no one left.

Sighing to himself, the dark-haired man hated to admit it, but things were easier when he was in the Underground surrounded by all that filth and dirt. Even risking his life to fight titans was easier. At least back then all he had to focus on was killing things and surviving, not all this bullshit with feelings. Things were straightforward and there was a right answer. Now, Levi didn’t know if there was a right, let alone a best, route to choose.

Sometimes he questioned whether he regretted what had happened between them, but the answer was always inevitably no. Levi would much rather have had that brief glint of happiness – there was too much suffering in the godforsaken world already – than go without. His experiences in the Underground had taught him that even if it didn’t last, the best one could do was grasp those small opportunities whenever possible; there was no telling whether one would ever have another chance. And even if Eren would never remember, at least he had Eirian by his side.

For some reason it reminded of one of the last things Hange had mentioned to him when they bid him farewell. The titan-obsessed lunatic had joked that he would become a ‘maudlin, melancholic midget’ without Eren, before proceeding to burst into tears and staining his good cravat. Levi had dismissed it as the blathering of a crazy person back then, but Hange hadn’t been far off the mark. Snorting bitterly at how much the world had changed and how pathetic he was for yearning a past that was erased, he closed the window and went back to his desk. The cup containing his tea was cold to the touch. It had long since cooled, much like any expectations he had had for life.

Grimacing as he finished the last dregs of his cold tea, the dark-haired man got up to clean off the used cups. After making sure Eirian was safely asleep, Levi padded over to his room and grabbed the store ledger. It had taken practice, but he could safely say he was getting used to the rote activity. It still took effort to read and write and Eirian would soon be a better reader than he was, but it was leagues better than the shitty unending paperwork Erwin used to force him to complete. At least some good had come from doing the blasted paperwork. After scribbling in a few lines, he gently closed the notebook and sat back. Closing his eyes, Levi pinched the bridge of his nose wishing for a day that never seemed to come.


	5. Dreams of the Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry more angst and feels. Eirian will show up in the next chapter though!

He dreamt of the Smiling titan. Watching a building collapse on his mother and being dragged away by a faceless Hannes. His blood boiled at being helpless as they flew away from the titan, watching with tears in his eyes as the titan devoured his mother. He was so weak back then, and yet, he had lost more than just his mother.

He found himself waking and chained. Faceless strangers opening their mouths and asking silent questions to answers he didn’t know. Fear clawed at him as one of them forced his head down and injected him with something. He felt like he had failed once more, that he was just going to let everyone down once more.

He felt like he was over ten feet tall and crushing buildings in his wake. All he could feel was rage, bloodlust, and a need to devour things. He didn’t know who he was as he attacked one of those skinless giants. Suddenly, he felt a sting against his neck and felt himself being forcefully pulled out of something steaming hot. There was a faceless stranger yelling at him, but he couldn’t hear a word or understand what was happening. All he could smell was the stench of blood and the searing heat as the world faded to black.

He saw the battle for Wall Maria and Shiganshina. He didn’t know what was so special about his home district, but he had a sensation of something rubbing his neck and warm against his chest. He saw countless people fall at the combined might of the titans. He didn’t know all of them, but in many of their eyes, he could see the fear that they weren’t going to survive. Scenes of battle flitted before his eyes. Boulders flew through the air smashing everything in their wake. The heat from the Colossal titan scorched his skin. The near hopelessness he felt watching his friends fall. And then there was the aftermath. He walked through the streets littered with rubble, saw from atop the wall a bloodied field of dead soldiers, and wept for the faceless men and women who had died. Somehow he had survived the massacre.

The feelings of guilt and loss inundating him only grew as he saw the Female titan.

He wept as faceless individuals urged him to escape, falling in their desperate attempt to protect him from her. All he could see were their tattered and bloodied cloaks as they fell one by one, broken and limp on the ground. Even though he couldn’t see their faces, he knew who they were. They were members of the same squad he had been in. He was simply a recruit who somehow managed to end up in the Legion’s Special Operations Squad; the group for only the most elite of members of the Scouting Legion.

Someone wretched him away from the bodies before he could properly mourn their deaths. The person was just as faceless yet familiar as Petra or Oluo had been, if not more familiar, but he once more had problems putting a name to the image. Again, he couldn’t see the person’s face as they pulled him away from the sight of carnage. Hot tears stung his eyes as he wept for his friends and fellow soldiers, as they made their escape from the Female titan.

Opening his eyes once more, Eren groaned in frustration as he found himself staring up at the dark stone ceiling back in the small room he had commandeered. His eyes were hot with tears as if he had been crying at the memory of losing his squad mates. It was a sensation the brunet would always remember; the feeling of loss and being able to do nothing. A pale shaft of moonlight crept into his room, chasing the shadows, but it wasn’t able to chase away the shadows in his mind. Groaning quietly, Eren banged his head against the pillow.

Every single time he had one of these strange, almost life-like dreams that seemed so real but filled with faceless remembrances and events that seemed like they might have happened, it was always accompanied by a mixture of sorrow and longing. Sometimes, Eren felt like he was so close to an epiphany and would soon be able to make sense of it all. But it never happened. It tickled his mind, like the gentle brush of a feather ghosting against his arm. Like a whispered breeze flowing through one’s hair, barely noticeable unless one paid close attention. Or a lover’s kiss in the pale morning when one’s mind wasn’t fully awake yet. There, and yet not there.

It was elusive like a snowflake within a blizzard. Reaching out, he could feel the shock of the cold and exhilaration as his fingers came near it. Yet it would be blown away by the arctic wind once more, and he would lose sight of it amongst all the other snowflakes fluttering to the ground. And finally, finally, when he had found and was able to grasp it, it melted the more he tried to hang on. Like a droplet of water, it slipped through his grasp, trickling between his fingers, dripping onto the ground where it merged back into the whiteness.

Eren had no clue what it was he was searching for. It could simply be a forgotten memory, or perhaps it was a misplaced object of his past. Part of his mind warned him off from pursuing the thought. It was a futile goose chase through the dark recesses of his mind and could easily lead to disappointment. Or perhaps he was simply going crazy from all the stress of being in the Scouting Legion and fighting back a titan threat that had died down substantially over the last few months.

Yet every time he willed himself to stop searching, to stop hunting, to put down the burden, to stop chasing after the phantom in his mind, something in his gut urged him to continue. And after all those dreamless nights in which his mind didn’t taunt him, it would resurface.

It was like an uninvited phantom lover in the dark whose every caress left a trail of fire against his skin in its wake. One that he could never see, never touch, never hear, never understand, or feel. It demanded his attention, seized his mind, forced him to watch, but never allowed him to get close enough to really _know_. Those scenes danced around him, teasingly, always evading capture. The closer he came to it, the faster it fled away from his grasp.

He had wondered often why his dreams tortured him so much, but nothing came to mind. They weren’t nightmares in the classical sense. He had enough of those as a child, screaming and waking up from reliving his mother’s death as she was eaten by the Smiling titan. They still haunted his nights intermittently, preventing him from falling asleep. This dream was still filled with loss, but loss mixed with guilt, and completely different from how events had unfolded in his memories. It was difficult for Eren to make sense of why he would dream of Petra, Oluo, Gunther, and Eld protecting him from the Female titan when they had died honorably trying to take Annie down. And even if it was dream, Eren would have preferred them to have saved themselves instead of risking their lives for him.

Events unfolded differently in his dreams than those he recalled upon waking. The squad had fallen at the hands of the Female titan, but they had all failed because she was too strong and smart, being able to anticipate many of their attacks. Because they hadn’t known it was Annie back then. Annie who knew all their routines and battle tactics, who could anticipate what they would do. The squad certainly hadn’t died to protect him. They had survived countless battles against the titans and were much better than he was, so it made no sense for them to protect him. So why had it dreamed it? Eren wasn’t anything special. Back then, he had been a new recruit with a penchant for rushing off and hatred of titans. One who lacked battle experience with titans, yet still fought with the fervor of a madman. He had never been part of the Special Operations Squad. Having lost those in his squad hurt, but the way his mind was playing tricks and making him like he had failed them, as though he was the reason for their demise, made the ache grow that much stronger.

The lemony scent of the room which was comforting in the day was suffocating in the darkness. He wasn’t sure why he had picked the unoccupied room five years ago. The same one that had remained unused until he was promoted to squad leader. It was a small room with its own window and in a quiet part of the Scouting Legion’s headquarters. For some reason – perhaps it was because the room was pristine aside from the thin layer of dust which had accumulated over time – Eren took care of it more than he would have a different room. Each time he laundered the sheets and hung them to dry, he wanted to bask in the simplicity of the task. But there were other times in the dead of night, when things were silent and everyone was asleep, that being in the room made him feel that much more alone. Even after having moved in nearly five years ago, sometimes it still felt like he was sleeping on someone else’s bed, as though he were an intruder into a private sanctuary.

Eren knew others suffered nightmares from their time in the Scouting Legion, but none of them had dreams like his. They dreamed of death, of the terrors encountered on the battlefield. He had some of them, but his nights were visited by dreams that seemed real, yet unreal at the same time. His waking memories were the same as everyone else’s; it was only the dreams in which things differed. He had asked Armin, Mikasa, and even Jean, before and all he got was concerned glances whenever he mentioned the sense of having forgotten something. And so he was trapped with unanswered questions and troubled thoughts once more.

There was no dawn to chase away his questions in the silence of the night. No sunlight to herald a new day. No brightness without the answers he was seeking. At least during the days, he wouldn’t be alone with his thoughts. He had responsibilities and a job to do during those hours.

Eren had contemplated getting drunk in hopes of forgetting, but knew nothing would come out of it. He had done so before, after one of his missions had ended rather terribly. Aside from the splitting headache and deep regret for getting completely drunk, it had temporarily blacked out the guilt he had for failing his team, but it didn’t help him face those grief-stricken faces. He realized that he had to be the face of strength for them.

The other alternative to forgetting was to find a partner for the night and hope the physical comfort might ease his mental anguish. Being young and in the Scouting Legion, he had had his share of offers. Whenever he went to a bar, both males and females would send him sly glances, and once in a while when the urges became too strong or he was sick of using his hand, he had taken someone up on their invitation. Brothels were another option, but they made his skin crawl. Accepting an invitation from a random stranger wasn’t much better. Sex with faceless individuals he would never see again definitely curbed his physical needs, but it made another part of him ache.

Eren would much rather find a long term lover or have a relationship, like how his parents had been, but no one had really grabbed his attention. Dedicating his life to the Legion meant he didn’t have much free time either. Worse, in spite of the romanticism of sleeping with a member of the military and all those tales of heroism, the truth was that he could die at any time on expedition. Even though the number of titan sightings had gone down, he didn’t want to expose a partner to the possibility of losing him if he died on an expedition; he had seen enough grieving widows and broken promises to know that he could be the next one. Even the strongest had to fall eventually, such as the best soldier they had, _Humanity’s Strongest_ , who had perished at the battle to vanquish the Beast titan.

Being in a different squad, Eren didn’t ever remember having any conversation with the enigma. In fact, most did not know even what he looked like. Some stories put him as a six-foot tall giant, whereas others said he was a mild mannered unassuming individual. The truth was that they would not have won that day without his sacrifice. The man had vanquished the Beast titan at the cost of his life, but over time, the story had become exaggerated. Some said the man had staved off a horde of titans and defended the wall by himself, whereas others claimed that there was no such person and he simply represented all those who had fallen in battle. But the fact that the strongest of them could fall so easily was a stark reminder that Eren, who was no one special, could just as easily die at the hands of the titans.

And so he was stuck here, in bed by himself with nothing to relieve him from the demons taunting him. Sometimes he wondered if he was going crazy. He had what he wanted in life, yet it seemed like something integral to his very being was missing.

Armin had once said that dreams were manifestations of things one had forgotten or metaphorical representations of a person’s subconscious desires. Eren could see how Armin’s theory might be right, but whenever he had asked others if they had met the people or for clarification on how events unfolded, it was never the case. His friends’ answers always corroborated with his actual memories, and never the dreams he had. If it had been a normal dream or two, he would have been fine with it, but some of the ones he had seemed so real that it became difficult to distinguish the line between wakefulness and sleep. He’d find himself talking about events in his dreams as if they were real, only to receive strange and concerned glances. Eren had talked to himself before, asking why, but there had been no answer. It was why to this day, the unanswered questions lurking in the back of his mind crept up on him.

If only he had a hint about what his dreams meant.

If only he could know what he was looking for.

If only he knew why it tortured him not knowing.

If only he knew why his mind was tormenting him so.

If only he knew how he could free himself from the demons in his head.

If only he could break free of the strange confusion haunting his dreams.

If only he could understand why there was such a strong aching sensation in his chest. Why it made his eyes want to tear up at the corners. Why it made him want to smile. Why it made him want to cry. Why not knowing made it feel like he was dying inside.

His brain felt like it was going to burst from the endless questions spiraling in his mind. There were so many questions, doubts, and much confusion and he wasn’t even fully awake yet. Gripping his hair, the brunet tugged on the short strands, wishing there could be an end to his frustration. Eren wanted to yell, to shout, to scream his stress away, but it would only disturb those that were sleeping. Worse, he knew it wouldn’t really provide any relief.

He also doubted it was the stress-related mental affliction Hange was going around testing people for. Eren was unclear on the details, but something about being constantly under severe stress and exposed to so much death wasn’t healthy for a soldier’s mind. From what he knew it didn’t affect one much physically – apart from difficulties sleeping – it manifested itself as hypersensitivity to sounds and sights of reminders of what they had gone through in battle. Eren doubted that was what he was suffering through given how the dream had been haunting him for longer than most. But he couldn’t be certain. His mother _had_ died at the hands of the titans and Eren had spent the better half of his adolescent years driven by blind rage. Even if a counselor could help, he didn’t like the idea of someone picking his brains; those dreams seemed oddly personal.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Eren wondered what time it was. Since meeting Mikasa’s cousin – no, Levi – yesterday, it felt like the torturous sensations were only growing. He couldn’t blame Levi though. The older man had done nothing wrong. It was strange, however, being around the dark-haired man and his son seemed to lighten the burden by a fraction. Eren didn’t understand why. The man had rarely spoken and was impossible to read. Perhaps it was because he was used to being around Mikasa, or maybe it was because Eirian was around. The little boy’s innocence was uplifting and made him forget all about killing titans and his never-ending nightmares. Seeing such simple domesticity between the father and son was so different from the camaraderie between members of the Legion he was used to experiencing.

It reminded him of his parents, but the many years had gradually dulled the pain he felt when thinking of his mom and dad’s deaths. It still ached whenever Eren thought of them, but it didn’t evoke the fiery rage and hatred he used to feel towards the titans. Sure, he still hated them, but he did not rush headlong into making decisions anymore. Doing so would result in dire consequences for the survival of the lives he was charged with leading. Being a squad leader required being level-headed and making rational decisions in the face of adversity. It had taken much time, but the brunet had become better at making such decisions.

Taking a deep breath, he threw his legs off the bed, reluctantly getting up. Eren figured he might as well go train or take a shower while there was still hot water. There was no point in going to sleep again now that his mind was fully awake.


	6. The Forgotten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eirian reappears. Here's some more fluff after all those feels!

“This is fucking sick…”

Levi muttered under his breath, catching sight of the festivities that had rolled around once again. The fucking celebration of humanity reclaiming Wall Maria. It was farcical how the masses made song and dance of the sacrifices of the Scouting Legion. The former Captain doubted those pigs could even understand how much blood, sweat, and tears had gone into defeating the fucking titans. He was disgusted at the entire thing.

A good number of shops had discounts for members of the Legion, thanking them for their hard work and sacrifice, but not him. Levi didn’t give a flying fuck; those who had survived wouldn’t have such materialistic tendencies. Instead, they’d be grieving and then getting better if they were serious about eliminating the titans. His was one of the few shops that did not pander like a dog to the military. Sure, if it was someone he knew and respected all those years ago, he might consider giving them a discount, but only because he knew how much harder they had fought for mankind. None of the new members in the Scouting Legion deserved it. They might fight titans, but they hadn’t shed blood and tears the way the rest of them had. They hadn’t watch their entire squad fall one at a time, and have to be the one to pick up the pieces. They hadn’t had to endure the jeers and mockery, being taunted as a waste of money and time.

Fuck, all these assholes should be pandering to him after how frequently he had saved their asses from the titans. But of course, thanks to what the Coordinate had done, none of them remembered him. It was probably better this way. Levi had always hated the title of _Humanity’s Strongest_. Not only did most people think he was some six-foot giant like Erwin or Mike, they were blissfully ignorant of the cost of being at the top. He had seen more members of the Legion fall in battle than most others. Watched more people die and been unable to save them. If someone came up to thank him for his sacrifice, he’d probably punch them in a face. They didn’t fucking get it. None of them understood what it was like watching those around them fall in battle.

Levi didn’t know any of the new recruits, but it was sickening to watch people suck up to those recruits who had nothing to do with the victory and the recruits accept the goodwill as a matter of due course. He wouldn’t be surprised if some of them had joined simply for the fame and being able to say they were part of the Legion. He would have rid them of that if he had trained them, but he wasn’t anyone’s captain anymore. In addition, he doubted Hange had any choice with how many good men and women they had lost fighting the Beast titan. There had already been talk of scrapping the Scouting Legion altogether back then given how small it had become, so fresh blood was needed to survive.

Only a handful of them had survived the Beast titan. The Scouting Legion had been decimated in that battle. Hell it could not even be considered a battle, it was a slaughter. A bloodbath, massacre, whatever the fuck people wanted to name such carnage. A good number of soldiers had been wounded and still alive, but because they were not able to get the necessary medical assistance, had died from loss of blood or limbs. Levi still had nightmares about that night.

Now five years later, the masses celebrated as though nothing was wrong. As if hundreds of lives hadn’t gone into ensuring their freedom. It sickened him. Any of those who fought at Shinganshina that day would feel the same way he did. It wasn’t meant as a fucking celebration. It was a fucking day to grieve over the lives lost, but they had twisted it into something it wasn’t.

And this festival was the fucking icing on the fucked up cake.

The idiots in power thought they could dress up the success of regaining Wall Maria without apologizing for the fuck ups they had made. How they always treated those in the Scouting Legion as disposable and a waste of resources, yet begged them to save them from the titans. Levi would never forgive them or Kenny for killing three of their own when trying to rescue Eren. They were in cahoots with the same bastards, which was the reason things were the way they were and why Eren had to use the Coordinate in the first place. Instead of titan shifters being the real monsters, it was humanity. The powerful only cared to consolidate their wealth and power, while the masses suffered. There was no justice if the branch of the military charged with protecting humanity from titans, the Scouting Legion, was being hunted by the very same people they were protecting.

With Pixis at her side, Historia had managed to change some of this inequity, but there was a long way to go. From what Mikasa had related, there were far too many conservatives dead-set in the old ways of the Reiss regime, making it difficult for the young queen to maneuver. However, given how much the lower classes loved her they let her get away with small things like increasing the Scouting Legion’s budget and accommodations. Still, it would take years before things got any better.

Worse, after the Coordinate had altered everyone’s memories, the crimes of Kenny Ackerman and the Military Police had also been washed away. After all, if Eren hadn’t been a titan shifter, there would have been no need to take the Coordinate away from him. Still, that didn’t mean Levi would ever forgive those fuckers for everything they had done. They might have forgotten, but he still remembered. With how spread out the settlements in the Outer Wall were, the presence of the Military Police wasn’t as strong as it had been in Wall Rose and he was grateful for it. However, it also meant that signs of lawlessness had slowly crept in.

Levi wasn’t worried for his safety so much as he was afraid for his son’s safety. It was why he rarely let the boy play out of his sight. There were a few neighbors he vaguely trusted, but he would much rather prefer having Eirian in his sights at all times. He had already lost Eren, and losing Eirian would be the final nail in the coffin.

Naturally, Eirian did not understand history the same way he did. His son loved all sorts of festivals, often flitting from stall to stall. Levi could not fault the boy for his innocence and naïve way of thinking, but it was fucking stressful bringing the brat out and seeing all those reminders of people he had lost while simultaneously trying to keep his son from running off. Eirian was the reason he could grin and bear the fucking stupidity of mankind he had so desperately fought to protect. The same disgusting humans who would have kicked him as a child and spat in his face if they had seen the rags he had once worn.

Levi would much rather face a titan than the two-faced individuals around him. At least they were predictable in how they wanted to kill him.

Glancing about, panic seized him when he couldn’t see the familiar blur of his Eirian anywhere. His son loved to wander off without thinking, just like Eren would have done as a child. It was fairly safe where they lived, but there had been whispers of gangs and unsavory types which had snuck in from the Underground. The chances of them remembering him was slim, but he knew what they were capable of doing to a child.

 

“Uncle Eren!”

“Eirian?” The brunet was taken aback as Eirian ran up to him. “What are you doing here? Where’s your father?”

“Papa is right behind me!” Eirian turned around to point, but there was no one behind him. Biting his lips nervously, the dark-haired boy clutched Eren’s hand, looking left and right to find his father. “Umm… I dunno where papa is…”

“Let’s go find him, okay, Eirian?” Patting the boy’s hand reassuringly, Eren smiled at the small boy. He had only met the kid once before, and even then, Eirian had a tendency to run off. The brunet could remember Levi following right behind, scolding and telling the five-year-old not to wander off without an adult. If his hunch was correct, the man was probably starting to panic and not that far away.

“Okay, Uncle Eren.”

“You can just call me Eren.” It felt strange being called an Uncle, even though he supposed that was what he was to the child. The brunet was unsure whether Levi or Mikasa had mentioned the relationship to the boy or if Eirian had decided to address him as ‘uncle’ by himself, but Eren felt much too young to be an uncle.

The small hand clutched onto him tightly as they walked through the throng of people searching for Eirian’s father. Eren wasn’t wearing his uniform, so it was a little easier to navigate, but it was difficult searching for the dark-haired male. They could have passed Levi in the crowd, but have been unable to see him since he was substantially shorter than average.

If Eren had a choice, he would not be here. But as a squad leader, he felt obligated to come to the festival to make sure no one in the Legion was abusing their power. It had happened once before and the recruit had been kicked out immediately. It was understandable that after the rigors of daily training and seeing friends fall in battle, one required time off to recover both mentally and physically. Festivals were great for achieving this, except in this particular case what they were celebrating was specifically what he did not want to remember. Although many of the new recruits were dedicated to the cause, they had never felt the sheer terror of partaking in a hopeless campaign or the responsibility of being the shield to protect mankind the same way he had.

They stopped a few times along the way. Eirian was intent on visiting any stalls which caught his interest as they walked through the market. Eren hadn’t had the heart to refuse, and in the worst case scenario, he knew where Levi lived so he could just bring the boy back home, even if it wasn’t ideal. Although the brunet had gone to other festivals and celebrations, there was something nostalgic about revisiting past activities he had enjoyed so much as a child. The streets were packed with shopkeepers, food stalls, and other activities such as ring toss and storytelling about the titans.

More than once the shopkeepers had asked if Eirian was his son, and Eren lacked the heart to explain or argue about it. At least he wasn’t the only one who seemed to notice the nonexistent blood relation between the small dark-haired boy and him. The brunet certainly had not expected Eirian to call him ‘daddy’ when one of vendors actually offered Levi’s son an additional candy for being such a good boy and praised Eren for raising him right. As much as he wanted to scold the boy who smiled and thanked the shopkeeper before sending a mischievous smile his way, he figured that the situation was harmless; it seemed like something he might have done in his youth. He definitely would, however, mention what had happened to Levi once they found Eirian’s real father. Being with Eirian, Eren could almost envision himself walking down those streets with his own children one day, provided he survived the harsh missions fighting titans.

Although many of the items being sold were advertised as things the Scouting Legion did, said, used, or ate, many were knock-offs and fakes but Eren didn’t have the heart to pull the curious dark-haired boy away. His childish glee at seeing everything and hearing tales of the Legion’s heroism, even if the truth wasn’t that glamorous, was adorable. Eirian reminded him of what he had been like as a child, asking for stories and wanting to join the Scouting Legion to fight the titans. The reality was harsh and violent, filled with death, but those were things unfit for a five-year-old boy’s ears. All the negative feelings Eren had towards the day were pushed back from seeing how happy Eirian was.

“Papa! Eren I see papa!”

Eren had been having so much fun with Eirian, he had almost forgotten about the boy’s father until the boy had pointed it out. Turning his head, he caught sight of a black haired man at the end of the street. Eirian had complained earlier of being too tired to walk, so Eren had let him sit on his shoulders. Thankfully he had, otherwise they might not have found Levi.

“Levi!” Eren yelled out, not wanting to have to track down the dark-haired man again.

Time seemed to slow to an eternity as the man pivoted sharply, eyes turning and spotting him with uncanny accuracy. Even though they were half a street apart, Eren had the oddest sensation that made him want to put his hand over his heart and salute this man who wasn’t even in the military. The anxious tugging on his hair brought him out of the reverie.

“Eren, Eren! Did you see papa?”

“Yeah. Hang on buddy.”

Zigzagging through the crowd, with Eirian clamping onto his head, he finally found himself in front of the dark-haired man again. Crouching down, he pulled the boy off his shoulders. As soon as his feet were on the ground once more, Eirian quickly jumped into his father’s arms and hugged him tightly.

“Papa, papa! Where were you?”

“What did I tell you about running off, brat?” The warning was gruff, but belied by the anxious tone in Levi’s voice as he pulled apart from the embrace to check his son over. “And what’s what in your hand?”

“But papa…” Eirian shuffled his feet, looking chagrined for running off. Then remembering the toy sword Eren had purchased for him, he brightened up and waved it happily in the air. “A sword! Eren bought it for me!”

“I can see that.” Levi turned to face him, and Eren smiled sheepishly. It was difficult to tell with that neutral expression whether Levi was happy or angry with him, but he didn’t care. For some reason, the dark-haired man had the ability to turn him into a blubbering mess who couldn’t seem to hold his own in conversation. “Thank you for bringing this brat back to me.”

“It’s nothing. I’m glad I could be there to help.” After bringing back the wayward child, Eren wasn’t sure how to behave in the parent-child moment. He had felt slightly dismayed when the boy had run to his father, but it was expected. Eren was simply a stand-in, whereas Levi was the boy’s real father.

“Now say thank you to Eren.” A stiff hand palmed the top of his son’s scalp, forcing him to bow. “If he wasn’t there, fu- who knows how long it would have taken to find you.”

“Thank you, Eren.”

“You’re welcome, Eirian. I’m glad we found your papa.”

“This brat better not have caused you any trouble.”

“No, not at all. I had a lot of fun with Eirian today.” With the boy by his side, Eren had lost track of both his initial goal for being out here, as well as what the festival was celebrating. In fact, he hadn’t felt so lighthearted in ages. “Didn’t we?”

“Mhm, Eren said he’s going to spar with me, papa!”

“Is that so… you better not be bothering him, Eirian.”

“Papa! Eren said so!” The dark-haired boy waved his hands enthusiastically.

“I don’t mind, Levi. I’ll train Eirian to be the best soldier ever, won’t I?”

“Yeah! I’ll kill all the bad titans!” The dark-haired man’s lips crooked in what seemed to be a semblance of wistful smile. Catching the slight softening of Levi’s face, Eren felt like he was intruding on something intimate and private, but it was impossible to tear his eyes away from the scene. The expression somehow made Eren’s heart beat a little faster before it vanished and Levi turned to face him with his typical nonchalance.

“Can I show Eren the titan pictures I drew?” Eirian tugged on his father’s wrist.

“Eren?”

“Umm, sure.” His head was in the clouds, imagining Levi smiling at him. Any of his other Scouting Legion duties could wait. The chances of bumping into any were improbable to begin with. The brunet hadn’t caught sight of any misdemeanors in the afternoon and most members of the Legion felt similarly to him. “I’m pretty free right now.”

Eren found himself following the father-son pair to Levi’s teashop once more. Eirian had run upstairs to find his pictures or something, leaving him sitting at the small, but cozy dinner table. An unexpected customer had come in just as they had arrived, and the dark-haired man had reluctantly gone to deal with the person.

Eyeing a canister of open tea leaves and pot on the kitchen counter from when Levi had begun making tea, Eren picked it up and inhaled the aroma of black tea. Figuring that the man wouldn’t mind, he began to boil some water, humming as he measured out a spoonful of leaves. Perhaps it was because he was in someone else’s house, but instead of finding himself calmed down from the rote activity, Eren was surprisingly self-conscious when he poured the hot water in and waited for it to steep. Levi seemed to be the type to be highly picky of his tea – he _was_ a teashop owner after all – and the brunet felt an inexplicable desire to please the older man for some reason.

“Levi!” Finished with the tea, it had given Eren a fright when he had turned around to see Levi standing behind him in with a strange light in his eyes. Careful not to spill of the hot liquid, he walked it over to the table, setting it on the table with a small clink. “Umm… sorry if I used your kitchen without asking, I made tea.”

The man didn’t say a word as he strolled past him, presumably to grab sugar and milk. Levi did not seem like the type of person to add anything to his tea, but who was Eren to judge? A moment later, the man returned. The brunet raised his eyes when a small bowl of sugar and flask of milk were dropped in front of him. Not a word was spoken as Levi dropped into the seat opposite of him.

“Uhh… thanks?” Grabbing the flask of milk, Eren tipped a little into his cup, stirring until it was a creamy brown. He could feel piercing grey eyes watching him over the rim of the cup as he slowly brought his teacup to his mouth. “It must be difficult to get milk in these parts.”

“Not really.” There was a grunt as Levi picked up his cup in the most unorthodox manner, by the rim instead of the handle or cup itself. Normally, Eren might have inquired about the odd grip, but it felt like he had known someone else to do the same.

The dark-haired man didn’t drink from his cup immediately. Instead, he seemed to examine the contents for a moment before bringing it to his lips. Eren watched with baited breath for the Levi’s reaction. He wasn’t sure why, but it was imperative to make sure that the tea met the dark-haired man’s standards.

“So… how is it?” He opened his mouth and asked, since it was impossible to watch Levi and see a reaction.

“Not bad.” Even the response, as clipped as it had been, took a load off Eren’s shoulders.

Now that he had the opportunity to talk to Levi, however, the brunet had no idea what to say. A part of him felt like he knew the man better than he knew most of the members of the Scouting Legion, but Eren dismissed the sensation as being an offshoot of how well he knew Mikasa. Not only did the dark-haired cousins look similar with their jet black hair, pale skin, and narrow eyes, but they were equally taciturn and apt at hiding their emotions. In fact, it almost seemed as though the two of them had invented the ability to mask emotions given how masterful they were at it.

The older man seemed almost wistful as he stared at the reddish-brown liquid, bringing it up to his lips for another sip. Although it was wrong for him to feel thusly, Eren couldn’t help the bittersweet pang that went through him at the nostalgic expression on Levi’s face. Only a person who had lost someone special would be able to sport that kind of expression. Eren knew very well what it was like losing someone close to him, his parents had been a prime example, and it was unfortunate that the same seemed to have happened with Levi as well. At the same time, however, Eren was glad he could bring a little bit of happiness to the man’s life from the way the tea he made seemed to resurrect some precious memory for the dark-haired man.

They were soon interrupted by the rapid footfalls of Eirian running back downstairs with a handful of pages clutched in his hand.

 

“Will Eren come play with me again, papa?”

“We’ll see.” Levi smiled wanly as he tucked his overenthusiastic son back into bed. Eirian was growing overly attached to the brunet, but it easy to see why when the brat was like a hero to his son. As much he enjoyed watching the father-son interaction, it only made things more difficult for him. The shifter hadn’t made any promises to Eirian, but Levi needed to prepare himself for the inevitability of Eren in his life at the rate things were going.

The former Captain had not expected to see Eren again after the last time they bumped into each other, but fate seemed to be tossing them in each other’s paths. It was either that or Eirian was inadvertently playing cupid. It had been difficult enough that first time seeing the brat again, but at least they had been in a public space and Mikasa had also been there. That was not the case this afternoon.

Tasting the achingly familiar tea that Eren had a knack for brewing and knowing those bright blue-green eyes were waiting for his evaluation of said beverage had been painful. If he were the crying type, tears likely would have fallen from the memory of those quiet evenings they had shared, but he refused to let them. Levi had promised himself that unless Eren remembered by himself, unless it was a matter of life or death or something similarly dire, that he would never reveal the truth to the shifter. However, it was becoming more difficult to fulfill that promise. Perhaps he had gotten soft after leaving the Legion, but the brat had an uncanny way to worm through his defenses.

“Okay. Goodnight papa.”

“Goodnight brat.”

Exiting Eirian’s room, Levi let out the heavy sigh he was holding in. The notion of trying to fall asleep didn’t even cross his mind as he plodded back to his room to pull out the maneuver gear. He sincerely needed a good workout to take his mind off things. All he could see were a pair of blue-green eyes haunting his every thought.


	7. Bleeding Hearts

“What’s wrong, Eirian?” Eren crouched down and turned towards the small dark-haired boy who sat on the ground prodding the dirt with a stick.

“I don’t like my name…”

“Why not? I like it.”

“The other kids say it’s girly.”

Eren understood what it felt like to get picked on. Well more specifically, he knew what it was like to see his best friend get bullied. Children could often be cruel and without realizing what it did to the person at the butt end of their joke. As a child, Eren had constantly stepped in to save Armin from getting bullied due to the blonde’s bookishness and delicate features, and oftentimes they would both emerge with numerous bruises.

“Have you told your papa about it?”

“No…” The boy shook his head, poking a hole in the ground. “And he’s always busy.”

“Hmm…” Eren hated seeing Eirian like that. He had grown attached to the dark-haired boy over the course of half a dozen visits. Due to his promise to play with Eirian and his growing fondness for the five-year-old, he had begun joining Mikasa on her Sunday trips, once even going over to the teashop by himself to play with the boy. It turned out the arrangement was beneficial for both sides, since it also helped free up Levi’s afternoon so he could buy groceries and supplies. “Want me to ask him?”

There was a small shrug as the boy continued to draw things on the ground. Eren hated seeing the bright-eyed boy upset. It might have been to satisfy his own curiosity, but he, too, wondered where the name ‘Eirian’ had come from. It definitely was not a common name.

“Hey Eirian, did you know that some of my best friends have girly names as well?” The boy shot him a confused glance and Eren smiled warmly at Levi’s son.

After being around Armin and Hange for so long, he had been exposed to various things such as how names could be used for both females and males. One all-too somber night after remembering all those who had fallen in battle, Hange had suggested discussing the origin of their names. It had lightened the depressing mood and in the process, they had a time of shared laughter as they poked fun at one another. No one knew where Hange had come from, but they all took a crack at teasing Connie when it came to light that it was both a male and female name. It was the same with Sasha whose name could go either way. Eren had teased Jean that although he was supposed to be considered a ‘gift from God’, his face looked way more like a gift from a horse.

“Yeah, two of my friends – Connie and Sasha – have names that are both boy and girl names. Connie is a boy and Sasha is a girl, but both their names are applicable to boys and girls.” The comment seemed to lighten Eirian’s mood as he stared at Eren, rapt with attention. “And then I have a friend, Jean, who looks like a horse.”

“Really? A horse?”

“Yeah, he has this big long face and his eyes are really far apart.” Narrowing his face and making goofy eyes, Eren tried demonstrating what it looked like, but it was difficult. In his mind, Jean looked far too much like a horse to be human. However, it worked as Eirian let out a small burst of laughter.

“You look funny, Eren!”

“Hey, I’m trying to show you what by horse-faced friend looks like.” The brunet attempted to feign righteous indignation, but it was difficult. “So don’t be worried about your name, okay?”

“Okay.” The boy returned to drawing shapes on the ground, as though deep in thought. “Are your friends tall, Eren?”

“Mmm… maybe? What do you mean by that?”

“Some people say that papa is short.” Eirian stopped making abstract lines in the dirt and glanced up at him. It was unnerving seeing those blue-green eyes he was so used to seeing in the mirror stare back at him. “Is that true?”

The question of Levi’s height was a loaded question. On one hand, what the kids were saying was true; the man’s height was definitely below average. However, the larger question was how it reflected on Eirian and Levi’s reaction to the comment.

On his second visit to the shop with Mikasa, Eren had watched as a rude customer made fun of the dark-haired man’s height, only to receive a cutting glare and have the quoted price jacked up three times. It had almost escalated into a physical dispute, and he would have gladly stepped in to help if Mikasa had not stopped him, but somehow Levi had managed to take control of the situation. Eren hadn’t had a perfect view, since he was watching from behind, but it seemed like Levi had done something to scare the customer, who quickly left with a disgruntled snort. When he asked the man later, Levi had not deigned to answer, leaving him to his suspicions.

The dark-haired man was as much an enigma to him as Eirian was an open book. Eren had no idea where the five-year-old child’s curiosity and endless energy old had come from, but it certainly wasn’t the Ackerman side of the family given Levi and Mikasa’s personalities. The brunet did not want to seem as though he was prying into the older man’s private life, but he was deeply curious about it.

Although there were always customers and neighbors around, Levi seemed oddly detached from the individuals around him. In fact, being a teashop owner was one of the occupations Eren least expected the man to have given how Levi seemed to avoid speaking and hated smiling. The man was cool and polite when dealing with customers, and never really engaged in chitchat or frivolous conversation. However, the steady stream of customers might have been because the shop always seemed to have access to rare blends and high-quality teas for a very decent price. Eren wasn’t sure where Levi got his supplies since most tea leaves grew in the forest, the closest of which was a good two days ride away, but wherever it was, the business seemed profitable in spite of everything else.

“Your papa is a little shorter than some of us, like me, but he’s strong.” Although Eren had never seen Levi in action, he could tell from the few times he came into contact with the older man, such as shaking hands or the brief bump when they first met, that Levi was no soft-skinned shop owner.

“Yeah! Papa’s really strong!” Eirian’s expression immediately brightened at the remembrance of his father’s feats. The boy jumped up as if illustrating a one-man fight against invisible assailants. “One time he took down two bad guys by himself. They were really big too. Those bad men were calling papa bad names and then ‘bam’ they’re both on the ground.”

“Is that so…?” Eren was not sure how much to believe about the boy’s story. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe that Levi was able to take down two grown men – Eren had never seen the man in action and was skeptical of any outlandish claims – but children had a way of embellishing the truth and the stories Eirian told were in no way free from that. It was endearing to hear the little dark-haired boy’s stories of his aunt’s heroics or of the soldier he eventually wanted to become, and it reminded Eren of his own past admiring members of the Scouting Legion. “Your father must be really strong then.”

“Yup! I wanna grow up and be strong just like papa! And then I’ll be strong enough to fight off all the bad people!”

“You really love your papa, don’t you?”

“Mhm, he’s my only papa! I sometimes wish I had a mama too, but papa says I can’t complain since other kids don’t have a papa or mama.”

Eren’s heart hurt at how mature Eirian sounded. It wasn’t right that there were so many orphaned children or children with only one parent, but that was the cost of war. The brunet only hoped that since the walls were sealed, the number of children without parent(s) would gradually go down over time. It was difficult to imagine what it would be like growing up without a mother. He had dearly loved his own mother, Carla Yeager, and would always remember the smell of apple pies wafting through the house. But although Eren had been devastated by his parents’ deaths when he was ten, he still had Mikasa and Armin by his side.

“Do you ever feel lonely?”

“No. I have papa and Auntie Mikasa! And now you.” Eren Instead of seeming despondent or unhappy, Eirian beamed at him. Seeing such joy on the boy’s face, Eren couldn’t help but reciprocate the gesture.

After making sure that Eirian was busy scribbling on some spare paper, Eren went to find Levi to ask about the origins of the boy’s name. Although ‘Eirian’ could be used as a female’s name, it was also appropriate as a boy’s name. Watching the young boy draw stick figures fighting one another, the squad leader felt like the name, Eirian, was definitely appropriate for Levi’s son. In the recesses of his own mind, the brunet admitted he was slightly biased since it sounded so much like his own name. Although he’d have to double-check with Armin, he was fairly certain it meant ‘light’ or ‘bright’ or something similar, which suited the boy perfectly.

It wasn’t difficult to locate the dark-haired man. He quickly found Levi behind the counter measuring tea leaves and checking the inventory.

“Eirian is quite a rare name for a boy. How did you come up with it?”

“I didn’t.” Levi’s back was facing him, so it was difficult to see the man’s reaction.

“Oh.” Eren fell silent. Although he had talked to Levi a few times, there were other times when their conversations just died out. It wasn’t the most uncomfortable silence, but it wasn’t necessarily companionable either. The older man was very closed off and the brunet didn’t even know why Levi continued to talk to him. Perhaps it was because of how Eirian seemed to enjoy Eren’s company and the man simply wanted his son to have more friends. Conversely, there were also times when things grew stilted, when he felt completely cut-off from the dark-haired man. Like now.

“Umm… was it his mother?” The brunet wondered about Eirian’s mother. She had never come up in conversation and the boy had never mentioned any memory of her either. It was only ever his papa and Auntie Mikasa. Although it might not be his place to ask, Eren could not help wondering what happened to her. The brunet wouldn’t be surprised if she had also died in one of the titan attacks. “Did she come up with it?”

“Why do you want to know?” The dark-haired man turned around, expressionless. Eren hadn’t thought Levi’s face could be any more blank than he had seen it before, but it was. That strange unreadable light he had caught in the man’s grey eyes from time to time was back. Despite the stony countenance, the brunet felt like Levi was reading deeply into his soul, searching for something.

“I was just curious about his name. It’s pretty unique.” There was a grunt in response and he felt the tension drain out a little as the man turned away and resumed taking in his inventory. Eren had known Levi was a very private person and he likely stumbled on a sensitive topic. Not wanting to antagonize the dark-haired man further, he kept his other questions about Eirian’s mother to himself. Whoever she had been, she must have been a special person to have won over the taciturn man.

 

* * *

 

Levi didn’t know whether to be happy or sad that Eren was spending time with Eirian. He wanted the brunet to remember them for who they really were, not laugh and talk to them as who he _thought_ they were. It was so difficult not to say something out of line, not to recount some distant shared memory that Eren wouldn’t be able to remember now, not to speak as though they were more than acquaintances or to be closer to what they had been before.

On one hand, it was great being able to see Eren like this without the rage, the pressures of being a titan shifter, or the Captain-subordinate dynamic at play. Levi couldn’t help it if he sometimes stepped into his former role, but Eren didn’t seem to mind at least. Most of the times the brat found it humorous and played along. They – him, Eren, and their son – had even pretended to be members of the Scouting Legion once with Levi heading the ‘expedition’ only because Eirian insisted that Eren play with him rather than boss him around. His former subordinate had jokingly asked whether he had been in the military before and whether he was interested in joining again. It had created a little tension, but that had been the closest that Eren had ever come to the truth.

Unlike five years ago, when Eren still had the innocence and immaturity of youth, the brunet had grown. Gone was the baby face and smooth skinned brat. The shifter’s complexion was slowly beginning to show signs of being weathered by the sun and wind from all his time using the gear. Levi could see places at the corners of Eren’s eyes where there would be creases when Eren got older. The shifter was also happier than he had seen Eren. He was used to seeing rage, despair, even hopelessness, but not happiness. There had been a few positive moments during Eren’s pregnancy, but they were tinged with traces of worry over what was going to happen to them. No, this was one of the first times Levi had ever heard such unguarded bright laughter from the brat.

It was difficult for him to watch Eren play with his son, _their_ son. Even if Mikasa hadn’t begged him and it ached to see Eren in front so close yet so far from him, Levi would still have allowed the brunet to play with Eirian. His son was strangely attached to the brat, likely because they were both brats, and it was the least he could do considering that Eren had been the one to give birth to Eirian.

But on the other hand, Levi hated how these coming and goings were pale reflections of what they had once shared. They hadn’t spent much time with Eirian before Eren had been summoned before the tribunal; it had only been a month after all, but Levi had never been happier than in those precious moments. The past wasn’t pretty. It was filled with blood, gore, and plenty of death, but there were also the moments between which one could forget about the fighting, the titans, and all the deaths. Tender moments filled with shared smiles and soft sighs. They were unique to Eren and him, and being the only one that remembered stung. What they were doing seemed like a paltry imitation, never really able to compete against the real thing. Moreover, the more he saw of the brat, the more Levi hated not being able to speak the truth and for pretending.

It was so tempting to and would be trivially easy to _attempt_ to trigger Eren’s memories. He couldn’t even begin to fathom what might serve as a catalyst for it – that was Hange’s expertise – nor did he want everyone to remember. Even so, every day, Levi warred internally with himself over the possibility of seeing _his_ Eren again. There was no going back if he spoke of things better left unsaid with Eren. If what they tried failed, there was a chance Eren would either find him deranged and cut off all ties, which could arguably be worse than the current state of affairs, or even worse, cause everyone to remember and undo the peace in their lives.

Or maybe it was just because he was weak and afraid of being broken once more, Levi figured. He was but a feeble human being, one who had stood out a little from his skill with killing things, but nothing more than that. He wasn’t anything special. If one had to make a list of his character traits, it would be littered with unsavory descriptions. Words like unfeeling, cold, rude, and short were at the forefront whenever he thought of himself. Typically, Levi wouldn’t have given a shit what someone thought of him, but Eren was the anomaly that continually messed up his equilibrium.

Levi didn’t know how he felt about this new Eren. Traces of the brat remained, yet the camaraderie they shared now was different from any relationship they had in the past. Eirian definitely liked the brunet, especially given all the stories he told about the Scouting Legion and of titans. It was difficult to separate the old Eren from the new, and what he felt about the brat was even more difficult, if not impossible, to parse out.

He liked being with the new Eren. It was a refreshing change from the shitheads who came to his shop who didn’t appreciate quality and came looking for inferior teas, or those too-nosy neighbors who kept trying to match him up with some pretty girl. Although the brunet was as stubborn as ever, Eren had matured and could be reasoned with.

But it was also possible that the impression he had of the brat was glorified from his experiences with who Eren had been. As much as he had found the brat obnoxious, the titan shifter had been a hard worker, passionate, and loving. He admired the brat’s dedication to the mission and fighting spirit. Levi doubted those qualities had disappeared, but now that he was not in charge of the brunet’s day to day life, he no longer had privileged access to this more mature version of Eren.

In many ways, the old Eren would never be fully erased. Eirian’s existence, the changed memories of those around them, and the fact that he was no longer bound to the military was proof of that. Whether those feelings he had held for the brat all those years ago were the same was another story altogether. Levi had spent so much time drowning his sorrows by being busy and raising Eirian that those emotions had been pushed aside. Now that Eren was in front of him once more, Levi found it difficult to differentiate between what he felt for the young recruit then and the squad leader in front of him now.

He didn’t want the new Eren to replace those precious memories they had once shared. As dark as those times had been, he cherished their shared past. The few special moments spent racing in the trees or viewing the stars atop the roof. The first time he saw Eren smile at him when he congratulated the brat on successfully making tea. Or their first kiss. Even the painful times they had shared, such as watching the rest of his squad – Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther – fall in battle, made him feel that much closer to Eren. Although their relationship had begun as two bodies seeking warmth and comfort, it had evolved into something much more than just that. Even if the words had only been said once, and only by him, neither of them had wanted to part.

If the brat ever regained his memories, he also did not want Eren to think he had replaced him. Since he hadn’t. The brat still existed within him, ingrained so deeply it would never fade. Levi knew with certainty that as long his heart beat, those feelings would never disappear. He didn’t want Eren, _his_ Eren, to think he had forgotten or broken his promise, but it was so hard to wish for a miracle when there was no hope for one.

And this new Eren was a conundrum. Levi wanted to treat Eren as his own person and start afresh with the person the shifter had become, but it was so difficult to turn a blind eye to the Eren he had once been. The overlap was undeniable. And what if he did fall for this new one? What then? He didn’t know whether he could bear to be with the brat with their shared history lying hidden between them the way it was.

Forgotten memories aside, it wasn’t like there was much of a chance for them to be together. He was a simple teashop owner with a son while Eren was a squad leader in the Scouting Legion. If not for Mikasa, it was unlikely that they would have met once more. Levi had no idea who Eren was outside from those few hours every few weeks spent together. It was also entirely possible that the shifter had already found his special someone. And that someone wasn’t him.

As much as he would have preferred it, none of that could prevent his foolish heart from wishing.

Sometimes Levi wished he had never met Eren again. At the very least, he wouldn’t need to be tormented by such thoughts. Yet at the same time, exchanging simple words and seeing the shifter with their son, filled him with such bittersweet yearning.

Hearing a familiar peal of laughter ring out in the market square, the dark-haired man raised his head, instinctively seeking the person responsible for the sound. When his eyes settled on Eren, his heart instantly came to life, beating at the sight of the brunet. It was utterly unlike him, but he had almost called the brat over. The only thing stopping him, freezing his heart once more, was the sight of a blonde female laughing and smiling up at Eren as they strolled through the booths.

As much as he wanted to, it was impossible to tear his eyes away from the scene.

Levi had no idea what who the blonde was, but the sight of her next to him hurt more than he had ever expected. Seeing Eren was already painful enough, but the pain was magnified hundredfold watching him with someone else. There might be nothing between the two of them, but his heart and body refused to cooperate.

Levi should have known that what he felt was only part of the equation. What was the point of even considering anything but friendship if it was never going to be reciprocated? The proof was right in front of him. It was so like Eren to inadvertently drop back into his life, bright-eyed and full of laughter, only to tear away once more.

He knew that the younger man was trying to get closer to him, such as asking him to help find a gift for Hange’s upcoming birthday – an invitation he had refused – but it was futile. Even if Eren wanted to be friends with him, it wasn’t enough for the dark-haired man. The brat already had so many friends that he would merely be one in many for the shifter. His heart would never be satisfied with the paltry imitation of what they once shared. It was painful enough knowing and talking to the brat occasionally, but watching Eren fall in love with someone else would be unbearable.

Their past relationship had formed after days of anguish and stress; it was something that would never have come about otherwise. He was more than a decade older than the shifter and they were from very different walks of life. Eren had dreams of seeing the world outside the walls, visiting the ocean, and gaining freedom, while he… those thoughts had never occurred to him. At most, his dreams were to survive for another mission and to kill more of those creatures. No matter how risky or frightening it was fighting titans, it was leagues better than living in the Underground.

What they had shared was lost in the past. And the proof of that was right before his eyes.

Watching as they disappeared somewhere into the crowd, Levi came to the realization that as much as he wanted to separate the past from the present and start anew, none of it mattered. Eren was older, more mature, and most importantly, not his anymore. If he didn’t distance himself from Eren soon, it was only going to hurt that much more in the long run.


	8. Distance

Eren could feel it the moment he saw Levi and Eirian again. Eirian was just as happy as ever to see him, but the dark-haired man was gradually pulling away from him. It was subtle, but somehow he had become strangely attuned to reading Levi over the last few weeks. Levi had never outright refused him when it involved Eirian or denied entry to the shop, unless he was really being a bother, but he turned down invitations for grabbing a drink and any offers for help. The older man’s amusing stories of crazy customers had also stopped. There had been a party to celebrate Hange’s birthday last week – even if that date changed every year and no one was certain when Hange’s birthday actually was – and he had invited Levi and Eirian to attend, thinking it might help expand their circle, but the man had adamantly refused. His plan had been to visit the market with the father-son pair and pick out a present for the commander, but in the end, he had gone with one of the other members in his squad.

Eren had honestly believed they had made significant inroads in their relationship. He genuinely liked the man. There definitely were instances when Levi’s crass humor was off-putting and unfit for polite company, but Eren also found a good amount of it amusing. The dark-haired man did not hold back when it came to his criticisms and the monotone voice only made it that much funnier. Even if all he did was sit and drink tea with Levi or entertain Eirian with stories of his expeditions, Eren had treasured the time he had spent with the father-son pair.

The brunet had no idea what he had done or what might have caused this distance between them. Nor did he know Levi so well he could simply ask what was wrong without being shut out. Eren knew that he sometimes rubbed people wrong without knowing it, but there was no way of knowing whether that had been the case without asking Levi.

Hearing footsteps approach, he looked up to see a familiar blonde walking towards him.

“Hey Armin.” Although Armin also worked in the Scouting Legion, it felt like Eren had not seen his best friend in over a week. here was some talk of a new mission to explore the area outside the southern wall, which meant that Armin was predictably the one handling logistics and planning for it. Since his promotion, the blonde was constantly buried in maps, books, and behind closed doors. Sometimes summons from the military higher-ups came for Armin to meet them in the capital, since he was essentially the brains behind the Legion now. T “You look tired.”

“Hey Eren. Yeah, well you know how things are.”

“Want a cup of tea?” He motioned with his own cup.

“No, I’m good.” Armin shook his head and Eren shrugged, bringing the cup to his mouth. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Ugh, this needs some milk.” The brunet blanched at the mild bitter tang in the black tea.

“Why are you drinking it then?”

“I don’t know. It just felt… right.”

Armin shot him a strange look and honestly, Eren felt the same way. He did not know where the habit of drinking a cup of black tea in the evenings had come from, or how it had begun. The brunet supposed he might have drunk it once with someone and continued to do so. Yet the funniest thing was that he did not enjoy black tea that much. Eren was okay with herbal and fruity varieties, but the faint bitterness in black tea was off-putting. Even so, there was something comforting in the activity.

However, his tea drinking provided one major benefit he had not foreseen. Not only was Eren able to make an excellent cup of tea, it also gave him an excuse to visit the small teashop and its two dark-haired occupants more often than he would otherwise be able to. Even Levi had seemed mildly surprised at his skill, though a hint of sorrow on his face had also been there.

“Should I grab some milk?” Armin motioned, starting to get back up from his seat.

“No, it’s fine.” Along with most red meat, milk was a luxury item given how little space there was to raise cattle. Now that humanity had begun resettling the Outer Wall, prices had dropped, but it was still a precious resource. As a squad leader, Eren had access to and could afford some rare things such as tea leaves and milk on occasion, but they were still limited in quantity. After meeting Levi, the brunet had managed to get his hands on some better tasting leaves, which were less bitter and he quite liked, but it was not what he was drinking at the moment, unfortunately.

“So what’s this about? And why did you want me to not tell Mikasa?”

“Well… you know Levi? Mikasa’s cousin who she only recently found out she had?”

“Levi? The teashop owner with a five-year-old son who you’ve been visiting quite a bit?” Eren nodded, sighing. Armin had heard quite a bit after Eren had questioned him about Mikasa’s cousin. It had come as a surprise to his best friend, and the two of them had asked his sister more questions about Levi. She wasn’t very forthcoming, but she did reveal some things such as how she had helped him open the teashop he currently ran, and the fact that the man had a rough childhood, which was why he had such a rude manner of speaking. However, there wasn’t much that Mikasa was either able to, or willing to disclose to them. None of what Levi had been doing before owning a teashop ever came up. It was anybody’s guess, but Eren was just glad his sister had more people she could call family.

“I think he doesn’t…” Eren wasn’t sure how to articulate what he felt. Had it been anyone else acting that way, he would have just thought they hated him, but Levi had been surprisingly easy for Eren to read. Especially when it came to Eirian. Now, though, the man had become even more aloof and closed off. “I… I think he’s avoiding me, Armin.”

His best friend had never met Levi or Eirian, but Eren knew if there was anyone who could help him figure out what was going on, it would be Armin. The blonde was a genius and there had been multiple times when he had figured out things Eren would never have been able to. There was a reason Hange had promoted his childhood friend to be the Legion’s tactician. Armin might only be passably proficient with maneuver gear, but he was the smartest person that Eren knew aside from Hange.

 “Well I don’t know much about him, but is it possible you’re just overreacting? You don’t know Levi that well and he seems like a private person.”

“I guess…” Even though he had known Levi for less than a year and only had a handful of conversations with Mikasa’s cousin, it felt like he had known the dark-haired man for much longer. It was not like he was sharing the deepest, darkest secrets he carried – namely, how he had killed two men to save Mikasa – but the brunet thought they had at least become friends. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on his part. “But you know…”

“Eren,” Armin held out a hand, interrupting him from the train of thought. It wasn’t like he had much to say anyways. “Have you thought of just asking him? Ever since we were kids, you’ve had a tendency to rush into things. Maybe something you did rubbed him wrong?”

“That was when I was five, Armin! I don’t do that anymore.”

“I think Jean would beg to differ.”

“Jean can go suck a horse dick for all I care.” Eren almost expected the horse face to jump out from some corner and proclaim ‘hey I heard that!’ given how frequently they bumped into one another.

Even though it had been more than half a decade since they were all part of the 104th Training Corps, and then the Scouting Legion, Eren had never gotten along with Jean. They respected and trusted each other on the battlefield, but in private, it was another story. The dirty blonde was a capable squad leader, but he always seemed to pick fights with Eren. The brunet knew Jean had a crush on his sister, but it was annoying that he always got the butt end of Jean’s animosity just because of how close he was with Mikasa. It would be amusing to see how Jean would react when he met Levi and Eirian though. Although his sister did not seem that close to her cousin, he had seen some fairly terrifying glares in his life and Levi’s glared definitely topped that list. There was something humorous, and slightly terrifying, about an angry midget.

“Eren…” Armin rolled his eyes in exasperation. The brunet knew he was being immature, but he didn’t care. “Just ask him. It might just be a simple misunderstanding.”

“Okay, okay, blondie.”

“Why do you even care so much about Levi?”

“I don’t know.” He paused mid-sip, trying to gather his thoughts. Although he had only met the man half a dozen times, there was something about spending time with the taciturn male and his gregarious son that made Eren forget about all the dark and depressing things happening around him.

Maybe at first it had been sheer curiosity towards Mikasa’s ‘new’ cousin, but now he was genuinely interested in the man and his son. Being around Levi and Eirian was like a breath of fresh air when compared to the stale routines of the Scouting Legion. When he wasn’t training recruits or filing paperwork, Eren’s time was spent planning for expeditions and performing menial work alongside the other members of his squad. No matter what he did however, he was always Eren Yeager, a squad leader of the Scouting Legion, whereas whenever he was with Levi and Eirian, he could just be himself. Granted, the young boy often asked him tales of his latest missions or what it was like fighting titans, but they were filled with innocence and naïveté, not the jaded sentiments found around headquarters. Playing with the dark-haired boy or even having banal conversations that didn’t really go anywhere with Levi made Eren’s heart feel lighter.

“I guess it’s different than spending all my time here training my squad and such.” He carefully contemplated what to say next, trying to convey the strange sensations that ran through him whenever he interacted with Levi and Eirian. How different and free it made him. “I don’t need to worry about my squad or anything and can just… well, enjoy life.”

“I feel you, Eren. There’s only so much planning and strategizing I can do before it feels like it’s too much.” Those blue eyes turned towards him shrewdly. “I’m surprised through, being a squad leader and member of the Scouting Legion was always your thing as a kid. I remember you setting your sights on being _Humanity’s Strongest_.”

“Yeah, I remember.” Eren chuckled wryly at the remembrance. It was certainly true that his dreams as a child were larger than reality. The three of them – Armin, Mikasa, and him – had agreed to join the Scouting Legion together after what had happened to Shiganshina. It was mostly Eren’s goal, but he knew his friends had experienced an element of that as well seeing their homes destroyed by the titans.

With years of experience under his belt, Eren had eventually come to accept that even if he was skilled and worked hard, he would never be _Humanity’s Strongest_. Mikasa was definitely more skilled than he would ever be and a few of the newer recruits also showed great promise. At most, Eren felt like he was better than average, but his current skillset would never put him in top position.

“Doubt that’s going to happen now; Mikasa’s probably the strongest person I know. At least I’m a squad leader though.”

“True. She was always been pretty skilled as a child.”

“Yeah. Remember all those fights she used to get us out of?”

“Those fights wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t antagonize them in the first place, Eren.”

“They kept calling you names and making fun of you, Armin. You know I can’t just sit back and listen to my best friend get picked on.”

“You shouldn’t have started a fight you couldn’t finish though. We might have suffered some broken bones if Mikasa hadn’t saved us.”

“Well we didn’t.” Seeing the frown forming on the blonde’s face, Eren hurriedly continued on before Armin could scold him further. “Don’t worry Armin, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself now.”

“I wasn’t going to say that, Eren.” The blonde sighed and then changed the topic, returning to the issue at hand. “Anyways, why do you care about your time spent with Mikasa’s cousin and nephew? As you already mentioned, you’re already a squad leader, which is what you wanted to do.”

That part was true, but although he had achieved his childhood ambitions, it always seemed to Eren that something was missing. The Smiling titan was already dead, so it wasn’t like he could get vengeance for his mother, but spending all his time surrounded by the stone walls of the Scouting Legion’s headquarters and only venturing out on missions once every few months was depressing. Thinking back to what was so invigorating about his time with Eirian and Levi, Eren came to realize what he missed was a normal life. When he was with them, he wasn’t surrounded by the military or anything remotely associated with titans, and instead he could focus on the simple pleasures in life.

“I guess… maybe it’s because they make me feel _normal_. I mean I don’t need to worry about training recruits or the next mission when I’m around them.”

“I get what you feel, feeling responsible when someone in your squad dies and you think it’s your fault. I don’t know how the former commander was able to do; thinking about how these expeditions I’m planning might get everyone killed.” Armin shot him a commiserating glance. “But Eren, what’s _normal_ for us is to fight and defeat the titans. I get it if you’re sick and tired of the death toll and everything, but it’s our job as part of the Scouting Legion. You were the one that always wanted to be part of the military and now you are.”

“Geez Armin, I know. I haven’t forgotten what it did to mom and dad.” The scenes of the house crashing and his mom and dad being killed by the titans would always remain in his head. But over the years, he had come to accept that no matter how many titans he killed, he would never be able to see them again. His commitment to the Legion had changed from a youthful hatred towards the titans to protecting others so they would not have to experience the same losses he had.

“I know. I won’t forget it either.” The blonde shot him a sympathetic glance. They had both lost families after Shiganshina had been overrun with titans.

“But don’t you ever think that there’s something missing?” Through the years, Eren had learned to control his hotheaded tendency of jumping to conclusions and to make smarter choices when fighting titans, but the desire to see all the titans dead hadn’t died down. However, in spite of that, the brunet still felt like he needed something else in his life. Something integral was missing in his life, and spending time with Levi and Eirian helped fill that void a little. “Like having a goal or something?”

“Hmm… my goal would be to see the ocean and explore the world outside the walls. Progress is slow because of the titans and unknown dangers out there. The death toll does get to me, but I’m happy doing what I’m doing.”

“What about starting a family or something?” Eren asked noncommittally, taking another sip of his tea. Compared to him, Armin seemed like the type to settle down, marry some pretty girl, and raise a brood of blond, blue-eyed kids with genius intellect.

“Maybe one day, you know how things are with the job.” Those shrewd blue eyes turned on him once more. There was a teasing light in those blue orbs as Armin smiled. “Are you saying you want to start a family? With Mikasa’s cousin no less?”

“What? Armin! How could you!” Eren was scandalized that his best friend, who was supposed to be innocent and timid, had suggested such a thing. That did not, however, prevent a small part of him from wondering what it might be like to spend his days with a spouse and playing with a son or daughter of his own. Strangely, though, the only scene which came to mind was that of the dark-haired man and his equally dark-haired son.

“What? When was the last time you even interacted with someone that wasn’t in the Scouting Legion, Levi, or Eirian? You might want to take some time off and maybe spend it with some other people. It might reduce some of the ennui you’re feeling.”

Slowly digesting Armin’s words, he took a long sip of the hot liquid, figuring there was no harm in spending his free time elsewhere occasionally. There was also the issue of how best to approach Levi. After a moment or two, Eren figured that it would be at least another week or two before he saw the dark-haired enigma once more, so he set the issue aside and turned to face his best friend.

“So how are things with the next mission coming along, Armin?”

 

* * *

 

Feeling the hot water pelt down and wash away the sweat and dust of the last expedition outside the walls, Eren let the fatigue from their mission wash away. Like this past one, the previous missions outside the walls had been small in scope. They were simply mapping out the immediate outlying areas and making notes about the terrain, fauna, and flora. It was all in preparation for later mission. It had been more than a decade since any of them had been outside the walls, so they needed to make certain the maps from before were still valid. There was talk of launching a giant Scouting Legion mission in the next couple of months, and he was both excited and terrified about it.

The first time Eren had been outside the walls, it was amazing to see the skies and trees stretching on for miles. The only wall was behind him. A part of him desperately wanted to ride his horse to see the ends of the Earth, but it was also daunting to know there was a vast world outside of the walls; one that had not been mapped out. Who knew what lay beyond the walls? Was there a settlement of titan shifters somewhere? Were there other walled human cities such as the one he had come from? How many titans were there and where did they come from? There was also a high possibility of other dangers in the outside world that they hadn’t considered.

His childish glee and passion for seeing the ocean Armin had described had come back full force, until the dangers of being outside had struck him. It was easy to venture without direction and get lost. As tall as Wall Maria was, once a person entered the forest and rode far enough, it was no longer visible. It made the feeling of being isolated all that more real. Supplies were also another concern. Although many of the forests were similar to the woods around Wall Maria, they needed to make sure there were proper sources of water and food that could be readily obtained. In the flatlands which were easiest to navigate, those sources were difficult to find, and the flat terrain also meant they had relatively little cover for using the maneuver gear. On the flip side, food, water, and shelter were plentiful in the forest, but it very easy to get lost and for titans to hide in the woods.

They had discovered a few ramshackle structures several miles out, scattered here and there throughout the forests in locations previously marked on older Legion maps, which was a good sign. It suggested that there were no other humans living close to where they were and allowed them to mark where they were on a map. Most were uninhabitable and some consisted of no more than some wooden planks standing up with a no clear roof. They hadn’t encountered any titans on this mission, which was a good thing, but it was always nerve-wracking wondering if and when one of them would suddenly pop up.

One of the things Eren had thought about multiple times while on the expedition was Levi. The last time he had spoken to the man was before that heart-to-heart talk with Armin, and Eren honestly had no idea how to win the man over. This last mission had made him more aware than ever of what would happen if he died. Yes, Mikasa and Armin would be devastated, but they would understand given that they both knew first-hand the dangers of fighting the titans. The same applied to those around him in the Legion. However, what Eren found he would regret the most was that he would never be able to fulfill his promises to Eirian – teaching the boy how to swordfight and use maneuver gear, or watching his nephew grow up healthy and happy – or repair his relationship with Levi.

Turning off the water, Eren vowed that before he died, he would make good on his promises.


	9. The Savagery of Mankind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter isn't that smooth. It was difficult writing the rescue scene. =/  
> Also, rating upped due to violence. It's not really that gory, but just in case!

Levi wasn’t too sure what he had been thinking – chances were that he hadn’t been – when he agreed to walk around town with Eren to gather things for Eirian’s birthday. His former subordinate had been appalled when he heard they had never held a birthday party for Eirian, and insisted on holding one this year. The titan shifter had grown steadily closer to their son over the course of the last couple of visits and now the mini-brat had asked the big brat to attend his birthday party which was in a week. Shitty brats. Naturally, Eren had agreed, which was why the two of them were now scouring the streets for decorations and other bullshit while Mikasa was entertaining Eirian.

Over the last couple of visits, the brat’s persistence in getting to know him had reemerged with a vengeance. It was unsettling being the target of Eren’s boyish charm. It was difficult enough making sure he kept his distance from Eren, but the brat seemed determined to break that down. Not only had his visits increased to twice weekly on a regular basis, but also Eren would always bring little gifts for Eirian and insisted on doing things such as making lunch or afternoon tea. Levi knew that Eren’s memory had not suddenly reappeared, but the brat’s behavior was slowly whittling down his defenses.

As they neared and entered the center of town, the dark-haired man noticed more surreptitious glances directed as them. He wasn’t really afraid of getting mugged or robbed – nothing was as bad as his life in the Underground – but it was still concerning. The vast majority of people who had moved to the Outer Walls were looking for a fresh start and willing to take a risk on the off chance that titans would breach Wall Maria again. Yet somehow, he had become aware that a few of the unsavory types Kenny had associated with had also come here. He had assumed the Underground had either been destroyed or wiped out after Rod Reiss rampaged through town, but it looked like that wasn’t the case.

A good number of those living inside the inner walls had traded space for a false sense of security. Too many people falsely believed that the Military Police or Garrison would save them, but Levi knew that that wasn’t the case. The former was corrupt and only cared for their own skins, while the latter had no experience fighting off titans. Given his intimate knowledge of what happened, namely that the breach had been caused by those two traitorous titan shifters, Levi wasn’t particularly concerned about the Outer Wall being broken again. It was also easier to avoid detection if he stayed where there were fewer people. It wasn’t impossible to live outside of civilization, however, given Eirian’s existence and unless he wanted to return to more thieving ways, living in relative anonymity was the best compromise.

Although they had destroyed all the documents they had gotten their hands on identifying him as the Scouting Legion’s top soldier, there were undoubtedly sketches and drawings in the hands of the masses that had lingered. It wasn’t like they were able to break into everyone’s houses and search for any mentions of Eren being a titan shifter or him being _Humanity’s Strongest_. After the Coordinate had taken hold, though, it didn’t seem like either of those issues would be of particular concern. There were whispers of a titan shifter, but many of them were dismissed as rumors and wishful thinking. After all, the important thing was that within the military, no one knew that Eren was a shifter, and they were the people with the power. It was as safe as they _could_ be.

Her ears perked up at the sound of a muffled scuffle, which seemed to originate from a shadowed alleyway off to their right. Glancing over surreptitiously, Levi feigned unawareness. It was stupid to draw undue attention to himself or Eren. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but with the lack of policing and wide open space, unruly presences had been slowly accumulating in the Outer Walls. The town he lived in was fairly safe, but Levi supposed it was only a matter of time before something would need to be done about enforcing the laws. The closest Garrison outpost was a half a day’s ride away and patrols only came by twice a week.

One of the rules for survival in the Underground was not to draw undue attention, so relatively minor offenses such as thieving and looting happened more frequently than crimes like murder or rape. However, the criminals that thrived were often involved with money laundering and blackmarketeering, since they were much better at blending into society, meaning that the scuffle Levi heard could merely be a beat-down of someone who failed to pay their dues or something; interfering would only put a target on his head. Of course, it might also have nothing to do with the Underground.

The brat didn’t seem to notice as they made their way down the street, but at the last moment, Eren’s ears perked up at the sound of a harshly muffled yell.

“Hey Levi, did you hear that?”

“Hear what? Are you dreaming up shit now, brat?” The dark-haired man knew he was being callous and rude, but he didn’t want to involve himself in something that could trace back to him. Eren might have been military trained and a member of the Scouting Legion, but it was not their job to police the Outer Walls.

“Are you sure? I could have sworn I heard something.”

“Tch, you’re just making things up, Yeager.”

Eren stared at him with those eyes, shining with conviction and energy. Levi had experienced staring up at so many people that he didn’t really care for the height differential as they stood there at a standstill.

“Levi,” the brat breathed out, “maybe you didn’t hear anything, but I’m going to go check it out.”

Clicking his tongue at the chivalrous brat, Levi trailed behind as they backtracked to the site of the crime. The combatants were still present. It had been too much to hope for that they had magically packed up and left.

Circling around from the back, from a closer distance, Levi could make out the scene which comprised of six individuals surrounding a woman. As much as he would have preferred to remain ignorant, he was sickened at the scene and how it could have gone sideways. He was, after all, the product of his mother’s prostitution and some random stranger.

“Levi!” The younger man attempted to rush forward, but he grabbed the brat before he rushed headfirst into a trap. They needed a proper understanding of the situation first.

“Shut up, brat.” Reprimanding the defiant brunet, he used his frostiest glare to silence Eren. There was a mutinous look in those green eyes and he only gripped stronger hold onto the suicidal bastard’s arm. “We need to figure out what’s happening first.”

Although he had a good idea of what was happening, Levi strained his ears to listen in.

“Your husband said he’d pay us back. It’s been a week. Where’s the money, girlie?”

“Mmmph!” The female writhed as the heavyset man holding her down began to run his hands over her body.

“Stop it Nob, she doesn’t know.”

“C’mon, bro… y’know how I like ‘em.”

“Well I like ‘em alive, all soft and warm, not dead, ya idiot.” The thug who seemed to be in charge wacked his underling on the head. The larger man moved to the side, while the other man moved forward, roughly palming her chin. “Listen up, Missus. Your husband sold you ta’ us to pay his debts. So you better listen ta’ us.”

“Mmmph… mph!"

“She’s feisty, ain’t she, boys?” There was a small chorus of agreement from the thugs around him. “What’dya say? Should we bring ‘er back ta’ base?”

“Levi!” Eren whispered harshly against his ear. “We have to do something!”

Even without Eren telling him, Levi knew exactly what those thugs were intimating when they talked about bring her back to base. It was a sight that he had seen more than once as a child – women being sold to the highest bidder to pay off a debt, or those who whored themselves out to survive.

“Fine.”

Before the word had even left his mouth, the brunet burst out and sprinted towards the scene. Levi snorted quietly. Well, at least the brat’s tendency to rush headlong into trouble hadn’t changed one fucking bit. Shaking his head, he jogged behind Eren, hoping the shifter wouldn’t do anything even more stupid. Unfortunately, the brat never failed to meet his expectations.

“Hey you!” All seven faces in the alley swiveled and turned towards them. Their ragtag filthy and pissed off expression didn’t even phase Eren as he continued. “Let her go.”

“Who the fuck are ya?”

“I’m E–”

“Who the fuck cares?” Levi cut in, purposely lowering his voice, to prevent Eren from giving away either of their identities. Neither of their names were very common, and in his case neither was his height, but at least it would be that much more difficult to identify either of them if they were unnamed. “He’s telling you to let her go, so fuck off.”

“Trying to save the missus, eh? Want her for yourself?”

Casting a cursory eye at the frightened female, her reddish-brown hair was a disaster, strands sticking up in all directions, her skin was pasty white, streaks of charcoal or makeup smearing around her eyes, and her clothes were mussed. Even if he were interested in finding someone to sleep with, and he certainly wasn’t, she wasn’t his type. Levi much rather preferred blue-green eyes the color of aquamarine, soft brown locks that could never be tamed, and supple tanned skin… in other words, the stupid brat who had him sticking his neck out in the first place.

“No, but what you’re doing is illegal. You should let her go before we call the police!” Levi groaned at Eren’s suggestion. As smart a choice as it was, the brat wasn’t completely aware of the situation and how little policing was done. Most of the people who decided to resettle the Outer Wall were fairly well-natured and held no ill-intent, meaning that little policing was needed, but the same couldn’t be said about these people.

“The police?” There was a raucous chuckle from the leader. “Hear that, boys? The police he says!” Those flinty eyes turned towards them with deadly intent. “The police ain’t in this part o’ town, so you’d better run back and mind ya’ own business, pretty boy.”

As if to emphasize his point, the thug leader turned around and roughly squeezed the woman’s breast. Despite the rag over her mouth, a small whimper escaped at the man’s actions.

“Mmmph!”

Naturally, Eren immediately jumped into the fray at the action, swinging his fist at the nearest thug who tried to stop him. Sighing internally, Levi sidestepped as a fist came his way, blocking with his forearm and kicking out at his assailant. The attackers fought dirty, using knives and trying to gang up on him, but none of them had his level of speed or strength as he elbowed another of them at the base of the skull. The brat was not doing too shabby either as Eren barreled on through towards the woman. Most of them seemed to realize that he was mowing them down at an impressive rate and turned to target him instead, allowing Eren to reach the woman’s side much easier.

“You should get out of here.” Too busy fighting, Levi couldn’t see what was going on, but he could hear Eren’s voice over the din of combat. Clicking his tongue in irritation, the dark-haired man was disgusted at the level of filth on their skin and clothes which had inadvertently transferred onto him as he kicked another thug in the stomach. It would take at least one, if not two, hot showers to wash off the grime

The woman ran away quickly without even a backwards glance or even a thank you. It wasn’t like they were was aiming for one – he was just making sure the brat didn’t get himself killed – but it was mere courtesy to thank the person (or persons) who had just saved one’s ass. Turning back to his opponent, the blade of a knife almost cut into him as he leaned backwards to dodge it. Levi briefly contemplated pulling out his own blade hidden in his ankle, but dismissed the thought. Weapons were not needed to deal with these unruly thugs.

Roundhouse kicking the knife of out of the way, he lunged using his forearm to block the thug’s airway. Those dark eyes stared at him, as a humorous cackle escaped.

“You… I remember you.” The man’s teeth were yellowed and stained with age as he wheezed. Even just being near the man, breathing in the same air, made Levi cringe. “You were the street rat which used to follow that butcher… ah, Kenny, around. How is he? Are you still doing his dirty work, _rat_?”

Levi’s blood ran cold at the reminder of his life in the Underground. Although the risk of exposure had existed over the years, after such a long time, it didn’t seem like anyone would remember him from back then. His life back then was utterly unrecognizable from the one he had now. Eren hadn’t known the details of his childhood – only that he grew up in the Underground –and there had been no reason for the Coordinate to erase that portion of his past. What was changed was his existence as a squad leader and _Humanity’s Strongest_ , namely his participation in events that had happened after Erwin had recruited him into the Scouting Legion.

Reminding himself that no one could actually prove who he had been in the past – there were no records of his existence in the Underground aside from hearsay – he calmed himself down. When the resettlement to the Outer Walls had begun, there must have been mass migration from the Underground, given how these unsavory types were exactly the same kind of people from back then. After regaining his equilibrium, he glanced back to check and make certain that Eren wasn’t around to see what he was about to do.

He turned back to the filthy thug pinned under his forearm. “Listen here, shit. I don’t give a fuck what you think or who you are, but you’d better keep that to yourself, or I will come and slit your throat myself. If you know what The Butcher was capable of, just know that I am capable of much worse.” Clutching the man’s windpipe, the cold disdain and rage he felt leaked through as he tightened his grip around the man’s throat. It was so easy to squeeze and block off the thug’s airway. The glint of what looked to be fear in the man’s eyes made him feel slightly better. “Got it?”

When the man didn’t respond, Levi tightened his grip even further. He could see the shithead’s face start turning red, but the dark-haired man didn’t care. If this pissant died, all the better. Unfortunately, Eren was here, so he couldn’t go about murdering people. Even if they were the scum of the earth. The man seemed to finally realize how serious Levi was as he nodded, hands slapping ineffectively at the dark-haired man’s arm, begging for air. Releasing the piece of shit, there were hacking coughs as the man regained his breath. Wiping the filth off his hands with a handkerchief, he kept a close eye on the guy as he walked over to Eren.

“Everything under control, brat?”

“Yeah, nothing too hard.” Those blue-green eyes looked at the exit of the alleyway where there were no more lingering bodies. “Looks like you’re done too.”

“No shit, brat.” He could see the shadowy figure as the street thug scurried away. Levi only hoped that his decision to let the man walk wouldn’t come back to bite him in the ass. If the man valued his life, he would keep away. It had been a bad decision to assist Eren and stick his neck out for things he shouldn’t be worrying about. However, it was too late to regret his choice. The part of him that was a cold-blooded killer almost came back at the reminder of his past. On some visceral level, Levi would feel safer knowing if the threat was neutralized, but he also valued human life.

Casting one last glance back at the empty alley, he sincerely hoped that this would be the last he saw or heard of them.


	10. The Innocence of Children

Eren could smell the scent of onions and some kind of meat the moment the door opened. Whatever Levi and Mikasa were making for Eirian’s birthday lunch smelled amazing. Even with the upgraded budget and meat prices dropping, it was rare to have anything in the Legion’s kitchen smell so good. Taking a step inside, he felt the small dark-haired boy who had let him in tackle his legs.

“Uncle Eren! You came!”

“Hello Eirian! How are you doing?” Putting his bag down on the ground, Eren picked up the small dark-haired boy and swung him around for a big hug. The brunet was not weak by any stretch, but Eirian was surprisingly heavy. Then turning so he could face Eirian, he scolded the child. “And what did I say about calling me ‘Uncle’ Eren?”

“To not say it?” There was a toothy smile as Eirian beamed innocently at him. Sometimes Eren could easily see the resemblance between father and son. Like his father, the birthday boy was too much of a smartass for his own good.

“Then why are you still calling me that?” He used his fiercest glare on the child as he placed Eirian back on the ground. Although he was technically Eirian’s uncle by way of his relation to Mikasa, Eren did not like it when the boy addressed him as such. He felt too young to be someone’s uncle, and the brunet didn’t really think of Levi as Mikasa’s cousin. It was difficult to put into words what the relationship between him and Levi was. They were friends, but at the same time not really friends. Family, but it did not feel like that either. And there had been the weird distance between them for a while too.

“I’unno.” Eirian seemed unfazed from the scolding as he shrugged. Levi’s reprimands were likely harsher than the brunet’s, which was why the boy had ignored it. The dark-haired boy ran a few steps back inside the house and then cupped his hands to his mouth. “Papa! Eren’s here!”

“What did I say about yelling, brat?” A scowling Levi came into view dressed in a white button-down shirt and dark well-fitting pants. Eren had to refrain from staring. There was something about Levi dressed semi-formally with the top few buttons of his shirt undone and sleeves rolled up his forearms that seemed to grab his attention. His style of dress seemed at odds with what Eren had seen of him before, yet it was oddly fitting. However, it was the dark-haired man’s uncovered forearms, which grabbed most of his attention.

Eren was surprised to see a smattering of long-faded scars on that pale skin. A few crosswise lines seemed like they were from Levi using his forearm to block a knife and were barely visible. One particularly nasty jagged scar caught his attention though. Compared to the other scars, it was lighter and more distinctive. The scar seemed to start somewhere in the middle of Levi’s forearm and continued under the clothing to god knows where. Eren wondered what had caused the scarring. It looked like someone or something had gouged right into the muscle. Given the jaggedness and its distinctiveness, Eren could only imagine how much a wound like that must have hurt. He was also surprised that the man had survived such an injury; losing that much muscle would have taken a long time to heal and might have caused irreparable damage.

“Oi, where are you staring at, brat?”

Eren jerked his head up, face flaming, at Levi’s demanding tone. His eyes inadvertently caught onto serious grey eyes, which appeared more silvery in the lighting. Embarrassed at being caught staring, he turned away to stare at some insignificant pattern on the wall while keeping an eye on Levi and Eirian.

“I’m not staring at anything, papa!” Eirian puffed his cheeks and cried out.

“I’m not speaking to you, Eirian. I was talking about Eren.”

“Oh.” He could feel the pairs of bright green eyes and blasé grey eyes bore a curious hole into him. The brunet wished he could disappear into thin air. “Why were you staring at papa, Eren?”

“Um… I wasn’t?” Eren scratched his head, feigning innocence as he turned back to the young boy. Eirian shot him a confused glance before shrugging and running to find his aunt. Levi simply clicked his tongue as though in disgust before following his son back inside, scolding the boy not to yell inside the house. Properly chastised on the perils of being caught staring, the brunet pulled off his boots, grabbing a pair of slippers before tailing the father-son pair inside.

 

Lunch turned out to taste as good as it had smelled. It was a thick beef stew with vegetables served with freshly baked bread rolls and some green stuff on the side. Eren felt slightly bad eating so much more than everyone else did at the table, but Levi had simply dismissed his concerns and waved him on. Mikasa had eaten as usual, but Eren was surprised to see that Levi did not eat that much. Eirian, on the other hand, tucked into the hearty meal easily, and was surprisingly well mannered when eating. The one or two times the boy had spoken up, Levi had scolded him and told his son to talk only after there was no food in his mouth.

After lunch, Eren asked for Eirian’s help in assembling the cake. Levi would have been appalled if he had seen the number of grubby fingers which had touched and tasted the frosting during the process, but the man had been busy doing the dishes. Eirian had insisted on getting his hands and face sticky with the white frosting and Eren did not have the heart to stop him. He had done the same thing as a child with his mother, and although he was not Eirian’s parent, Eren was glad to share some things of his childhood with the boy. There was no telling whether it would happen, but he wondered if this was what it would be like to have his own child one day. There were plenty of shushed whispers and secretive giggles as they played together at decorating Eirian’s cake.

It was nothing spectacular, but Eren had been truly surprised when Levi had mentioned never holding a birthday party or having cake before. The brunet had baked it the previous day back at headquarters and had brought it over. When complete, the small confection was only as wide as a dessert plate and more than enough for four people. The supplies set Eren back a pretty penny, but seeing the joy on the little boy’s face was completely worth it.

“Happy birthday Eirian!”

There was a wide smile on the birthday boy’s face as he inhaled a large breath of air and blew out the candles. Eren clapped along with Levi and Mikasa as the now six-year-old boy managed to blow out each and every of those flames in one go.

“Presents or cake?” Eren watched Mikasa ask her nephew. The boy pursed his lips in deep contemplation before beaming back at them.

“Presents!”

“Okay, just wait here.” After a minute, Mikasa walked back with a medium sized, messily wrapped package in her arms. “Here you go, Eirian.”

Eager hands ripped open the packaging to pull out a soft cloak the color of forest leaves. The boy immediately tried put on the present upon seeing the cloak. He had a bit of difficulty and Mikasa had to help tie the clasp, but when it was eventually on, Eirian ran upstairs to grab the toy sword Eren had bought for him earlier, jumping up and down eagerly and pretending to be a member of the Scouting Legion.

“Thank you, Auntie!” Eirian whirled around in the cape, brandishing his sword in excitement.

“You’re welcome, Eirian.”

Eren was next, and there was an equally excited burst of glee when the boy saw the stuffed bear with a cloak embroidered with the Scouting Legion’s wings of freedom on the back. It had taken Eren a long time to figure out what to get the boy, but he had eventually decided on something. He had known that Eirian only had one stuffed animal, which was already heavily worn down, and had added the cloak and the Scouting Legion patch on the back himself.

Levi’s gift to his son, which was the most impeccably packaged one of them all, turned out to be a sketchpad and some colored pencils for the boy. After giving his father a big hug, Eirian immediately asked whether he could play with his new birthday gifts. Eren was surprised when Levi had refused, but it turned out his reason for doing so was rather practical.

“What about the cake, brat?”

“Cake! Cake!” Presents utterly forgotten, the dark-haired boy immediately jumped up and began haranguing his father. “Can we have cake now, papa?”

“Impatient brat.” Eren watched as Levi lightly smacked his son on the head before standing up himself and walking over to the kitchen. The excitement was tangible on Eirian’s face as the cake was brought out. Rolling his sleeves up a little more, the dark-haired man grabbed the knife and cut into the birthday cake. While Levi cut the cake, Mikasa undid Eirian’s cloak and moved the toys onto a spare chair so they wouldn’t get dirty. Gifts forgotten, there was a large grin as Eirian grabbed his fork and dug into the giant slice of cake. A pale ring of frosting of was stuck around the boy’s mouth as he looked back up.

“Yummy!”

“Tch, mind your manners, brat.” Levi pulled out his napkin and nudged it towards his son’s face. “Wipe off your face, Eirian. And don’t chew with your mouth open.”

Even when grousing about his son’s mannerisms or messiness, there was tender affection in the dark-haired man’s actions as he split the remaining cake into four pieces. Mikasa passed Eren a piece and took one herself, with Levi taking the smallest of the four pieces. Taking a forkful, Eren savored the soft cloud-like texture as it melted in his mouth. The vanilla buttercream turned out even better than he had expected.

“Papa, what’s that piece for?” Eirian pointed his fork at the remaining slice of cake. Judging from the amount on the plate the boy had only finished half of it. The last piece could be divided amongst themselves easily, but if Levi had left a piece uncut, it was likely for later.

“It’s for dessert after your supper.”

“Can I eat it now?”

“No. You won’t be able to eat supper if you do.”

“But papa… it’s my birthday…”

“Here.” Not wanting to see the boy so disappointed on his birthday, Eren slid the rest of his plate towards the small dark-haired boy. Even if he was the one who made it, after Eirian’s slice, his had been the largest. “If you want, you can have the rest of my piece, Eirian.”

“Really?”

“No. You haven’t finished eating your piece and you haven’t even thanked Eren for making it for your birthday, brat.” Levi interreupted. Stubborn green eyes clashed against hard grey ones, before Eirian eventually exhaled.

“Fine. If papa says so…”

The mood around the table had turned glum as they finished off their respective pieces of cake. After they were done, the room was oddly silent. Levi stood up and began clearing away the dishes without a word, and Eren caught his sister shooting a dark look at her cousin, who was unfazed by the glare and continued his cleanup of the table.

“Hey Eirian,” Eren nudged the birthday boy. “Why don’t we draw some things with the new colored pencils, your papa gave you?”

“Pictures!” Eirian jumped off his chair, and grabbed his birthday presents, running off with them into the living room with Mikasa close behind. Eren was torn between joining them and helping Levi clean up, but the manners his mom had drilled into him compelled him to help the dark haired man.

For a birthday celebration, things had been rather tame, given the lack of other children around. Levi and Mikasa might have planned something later in the day when he would not be around, but neither of them seemed like the type. After all, the birthday party had been Eren’s idea. There were no games or other children present, only three adults, one of whom was Eirian’s father, but the little boy seemed to be having fun, which was the only thing that mattered.

Returning from the kitchen after assisting with drying the dishes, Eren watched from the sidelines as the boy drew pictures of titans with Mikasa. Eirian’s artistic ability would not be enough to earn him a living, and the only reason the brunet had been able to tell it was a titan was because it dwarfed the house next to it. Eren needed to leave soon, but spending a few more minutes would not do any harm. Padding over softly, he crouched down to listen to what the boy was telling his aunt. After a few minutes of listening to stories about titans and Eirian’s retelling of history, he interrupted before he got too late.

“Hey Eirian,” the bright-eyed birthday boy turned to him expectantly, “this was fun, but I need to head back home, so I won’t be able to stay for dinner.”

It took a few hours of riding to get back to headquarters and that was already slightly pushing it given all the gate checks prohibiting free traffic in and out of Wall Rose. The streets were also much more crowded on Sundays. Eren needed to go back and review some new training plans for his team before they met tomorrow morning, meaning that there was no possibility of staying for dinner or much longer. The alternatives were to either go without sleep – and although he didn’t get much, he still needed a couple of hours to function properly, or cancel the early morning training he had scheduled with his squad the next day, which was plain irresponsible. Eren knew Eirian would be disappointed, but it was the best he could do. His responsibilities to the Scouting Legion came first after all.

Mikasa was better than he was at keeping up to speed with training and her squad had just come back from a week-long mission a few days ago, so she was on vacation and could afford to stay much later. Besides, she was family and he was not. At least he didn’t feel as though they were his family, not in the same way that Mikasa or his parents had been.

Since the last visit, it seemed like things were gradually going back to how they had been between him and Levi, but it was too soon to tell. They were more than acquaintances, but Eren was not sure if he would classify Levi as a friend either. They weren’t work colleagues or client and salesman, and it was difficult to define the exact nature of their relationship. Eren knew that the dark-haired man was still highly reluctant to spend time with him; however, inroads were gradually being built and some progress was made over the last couple of visits. Most of it was due to Eirian’s insistence, and it seemed like the older man could never deny his son.

“Aww…” The young boy seemed to recover from his disappointment rather quickly as he spun around to face his father who was just walking towards them. “Papa, papa, can Eren stay with us? Auntie Mikasa’s slept with me before…”

Eren might not have noticed the strange glance exchanged between the two dark-haired cousins if he was not so attuned to Mikasa’s expressions. It was somewhat freaky that they would communicate without words, but maybe it was a silent people thing. There was a brief pause before the dark-haired man answered the question.

“No. If Eren wants to leave, you have to let him. He probably has some important things to do with the Scouting Legion tomorrow.”

“But…”

“Where would he sleep, Eirian? On the ground? We don’t have a spare bedroom, brat.”

The young boy seemed to consider his father’s point, furrowing his brow deep in thought, before abruptly beaming back at his father. “He can sleep with you, papa!”

Something which resembled a choked cough of disbelief came from Levi’s direction, but the brunet was unable to see whether it was the case.

Ducking his head, Eren was slightly embarrassed at the prospect of being asked to sleep in another man’s bed. He didn’t typically have a problem with it – on missions they sometimes had to share a bedroll and he had seen other men naked during training and in the showers – but Eirian’s wording made it seem like something more than just spending a night innocently. It might also have been because the overall atmosphere would be that much more intimate in Levi’s bed in the dark-haired man’s home than when Eren was out in the field. That spot was meant for Levi’s late (or future) wife.

“Eirian,” the brunet began. The dark-haired boy turned towards him, rapt with attention. “Only your mama or someone close to your papa should be sleeping with him.”

Inexplicably, the moment he uttered that sentence, Eren felt a pang of something akin to hurt or confusion. Over the course of the last few weeks, he had only ever seen Levi interact with Mikasa, Eirian, or himself in anything more than a friendly manner, so the prospect of the older man taking on a wife made Eren feel like the faceless, unknown woman would be taking Levi from him in some sense. He tried to dismiss that notion as silly; Eren certainly had no claims to the man or his time, beyond that of friendly acquaintances or in-laws.

“But you and papa are close!” Raising an eyebrow at the statement, he wondered if that were true. Eirian’s statement of him and Levi being close warmed his heart. It might be a child’s passing fancy, but the boy’s observation made the fog in his heart lift a little.

“I know.” Patting the boy softly on the head, Eren smiled affectionately. He wondered whether this was what Armin or his mother had found him to be like. Sometimes it seemed like the young Ackerman had a stubborn streak that almost rivaled his. However, as much as Eren did not want to disappoint his nephew on such an important day, there was no way he would have been able to get away with attending the whole day unless it meant shirking his squad leader responsibilities. “As much as I want to, I _can’t_ stay, Eirian. I need to get home. As your father already said, I do need to train my squad tomorrow. If I don’t, who will protect you from the bad titans?”

“Okay…” Eirian turned his head down, finally accepting the inevitable. Seeing how disheartened the little boy was, Eren figured a demo would maybe make up for it. The dark-haired boy had expressed interest in seeing him whizz around the trees many times, but he had always been reluctant to bring his gear with him, since it ruined the purpose of travelling incognito.

Eren would never quite forget what it was like feeling the wind rush through his hair the first time he had flown through the air on maneuver gear. Granted, it was during the time that Hannes had rescued him and Mikasa and he was undoubtedly on an adrenaline rush, but that feeling of freedom was something that words could not describe. Eirian looked to be the type who would also love to experience it.

The other reason for not bringing his gear was a practical one. Maneuver gear was military equipment, which meant that there were limitations on usage. Using it for personal reasons was _highly_ frowned upon. Hange was a little lax with those restrictions, however, and others had used it for personal purposes before as well.

“How about this, Eirian? I’ll bring my Scouting Legion gear next time and show you how to fly in the air?”

“Really?” Eirian’s eyes were as wide as saucers as he stared at Eren. “That sounds so cool! Auntie Mikasa never shows me what it’s like…”

“Yes really.” Raising his head, he looked towards the taciturn man, seeking permission. Even used correctly maneuver gear was not the safest pursuit. New recruits often had trouble balancing and sometimes veterans also had difficulty when the hooks weren’t attached right. It made sense if Mikasa was worried for Eirian’s safety. “Is that okay with you, Levi? I know some parents might not want their kids exposed to things like 3DMG just yet.”

“Gear is fine as long if all you’re doing is showing him. No swords though.”

“I promise.” Bending back down, he hugged the dark-haired boy. “Now, I need to go, Eirian. I had a bunch of fun with you today, and the next time I see you, I’ll bring my 3DMG and we can go fly in the woods, okay?”

“Okay. Bye-bye, Eren! And thank you for the cake!”

“Bye Eirian! Be a good boy for your papa and for your aunt, okay?” There was a small nod as they exchanged hugs. Eren sincerely wished he could stay longer and spend more time at Levi’s house, but work was work. Standing back up, Eren faced his sister and Levi. “I’ll see you back at base, Mikasa. And Levi… thanks for having me over. I had a lot of fun.”

There was a grunt of agreement as the man nodded. Glancing back at the dark-haired man who had not spoken, there was a strange light in Levi’s eyes as he left the house. Eren had a distinct sensation of having stared into those eyes once before as he rode away.


	11. Taking Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the angst train begin...

“Eirian?” Eren had looked away from the boy only for a moment to rearm himself with the maneuver gear, but when he turned back, Levi’s son was nowhere to be found. He had not been that concerned at Eirian’s disappearance at first, given how frequently the dark-haired boy liked to wander off, but when no response came, he began to worry. “Eirian where are you?”

Eirian had a nerve-wracking tendency to walk off without telling anyone, but many times, he would respond when called. This situation now was vastly different from the time Eren had stumbled upon the little boy in the crowded market square. There was no one around for at least a half-mile or so since space was required to demonstrate and use maneuver gear, and there most certainly was no sign of the boy either. Jogging towards the entrance to the woods, Eren sincerely hoped Eirian had just wandered into the trees, but his heart plummeted the moment he saw a fletched arrow with a note stuck on the tree.

Ripping the arrow and paper off, he was tempted to open and read the contents, but it was addressed to Levi. The man would not appreciate it if he invaded his privacy. Pocketing the note, Eren grabbed the rest of his stuff, mounted his horse, and made his way back as fast as possible to Levi’s house.

 

“Those fuckers!”

“Levi, calm down! What’s wrong?”

“They took Eirian. I’m going after them.” Levi thrust the note into his hand and Eren’s blood ran cold when he read the threat. Given how the boy had vanished, Eren had suspected something like this, but he had not known that the kidnappers had an intimate knowledge of who Levi was and why they had gone out of their way to kidnap the man’s son. The name should have been a dead giveaway.

_You think you can just steal something of mine and expect to live? Yur friend and you cost us, so we’ll be takin’ somethin’ from you too. You know what happens if you defy us. If you dun leave town, dun expect to see yur son alive ever again._

“I’m coming with you too.” Tossing the scrap of paper on the table, he faced the dark-haired man. Eren was incensed at how they could stoop to something so low as kidnapping a child.

“Tch, I can handle it, brat.”

“Levi… the two of us together are better than you going off by yourself.”

“Whatever. I’m going to get my son. You can do whatever the fuck you want. If you’re coming, just be ready after I get my shit.” Levi was coldly dismissive as he marched upstairs, presumably to get whatever equipment he would be using. Outside of the scuffle they had with the gang of would-be rapists, Eren had never seen Levi fight. Luckily, Eirian had asked to see the brunet’s Scouting Legion uniform and maneuver gear, so he was already combat-ready.

If the kidnappers had arrows that also meant they had weapons. He had brought his swords along with his gear today as a matter of principle, and he was glad to have done so. It felt weird whenever he was using his maneuver gear without the weight of his blades.

They were technically stepping out of bounds in investigating Eirian’s kidnapping, but like Levi, Eren couldn’t sit back and wait for the police to start searching. The presence of law enforcement was weak at best in the outlying towns. Those that were not corrupt were generally undermanned and poorly trained. More resources were spent maintaining the livelihood of those in the inner walls. Worse, even if they reported the kidnapping, there was no telling how long it would take to find Eirian. Eren would never be able to face himself if he did not at least try to find the kid.

He was determined to find the little boy and bring him back home. Admittedly, Eren had no skills in finding kidnapped children, but at least his combat skills would be of us if they were fighting against the thugs they had fought once before. Unfortunately, he couldn’t call Mikasa for help since she was training with her squad in the eastern part of Maria, which was more than a day’s ride from here. His sister was leagues better than he was when it came to combat. Eren knew his hotheaded streak definitely did not help in that regard, but he felt guilty and responsible for allowing Eirian out of his sight.

Seeing the panic and rage on Levi’s face when the older man had read the letter had only intensified the feelings of guilt pooling in his stomach. Eren didn’t know what he would do if they lost Eirian or worse, found the six-year-old dead. He was so stupid to think he could just bring Eirian outside and hope everything was okay. Even if kidnappings were rare, he should have kept an eye out for the boy. Levi’s son had wandered off before, so it was likely that he’d wander off again.

Before Eren could make sense of everything – his mind was still inundated with guilt – Levi came back down the stairs. Eren was surprised to see the same 3D maneuver gear, albeit a slightly older version, they used in the Legion and pair of swords strapped to the dark-haired man’s legs. There were no Wings of Freedom on his dark brown cloak, but everything else looked as though Levi had just donned the Legion’s uniform.

“Figured it out yet?” The man’s face was carefully blank, but Eren could feel the simmering anger and anxiety from the clipped tone as Levi strode to the door.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m coming with you.” Eren was so temporarily distracted by the sight of the man in the Scouting Legion uniform that he barely paid attention to the question.

There was a terse nod before Levi opened the door and headed outside. Eren jogged close behind him, unsure of what to say as they mounted their horses. He had initially been surprised to know that Levi could ride and had a horse tied in the field behind the house, but now he had to gallop to catch up to the shorter man.

“Where are we going?”

“To deal with a shithead I should have dealt with a long time ago.” Levi urged his mount faster, and Eren easily chased after the man.

“Wouldn’t it be easier tracking down whoever kidnapped Eirian and left the note?”

“Tch, just shut up and follow me.” Clamping his mouth shut, the brunet urged his mount faster to catch up to the older man. If Levi had an idea of where Eirian was, or who to ask, all the better. All he had done thus far was lose sight of the boy.

Eren had no idea where they were going as they raced over the ground. Instead of into town, it seemed they were heading east, towards the woods. The sun was gradually setting and it would be completely dark outside in another two to three hours. With Levi leading the way, they quickly made their way through the outlying area. After some time, they finally came to what looked to be a small old stone fortress. If not for the signs of life – smoke escaping the chimney and the smell of fire – Eren would never have guessed that someone was living there. It looked rundown and something out of a bygone era.

The dark-haired man smoothly dismounted, loosely tying the reins to a tree, and made his way to the entrance holding one of two blades in his hand. Keeping silent, Eren followed as they stalked through the walls, heading towards where he assumed whoever they were looking for was. There was no sound of people within the stone walls, but there were definitely signs of someone or multiple someones living in the rundown fortress; empty bottles and weapons were strewn randomly about.

Finally, after walking up a flight of stairs, they came to a door. Without warning, Levi kicked the door open and burst in. Jogging right behind him, Eren rushed in as well, only to find Levi already holding a heavyset man by the collar. The man’s right eye was red as though he had been punched and it sounded like he was wheezing for breath.

“You. Where did they take him? Where the fuck is Eirian?”

“I-I don’t know…”

 “Where are they?!” Even though he wasn’t the one being interrogated, Eren flinched at the venom and cold anger he could hear in his voice as Levi grabbed the man by the hair and hauled him up. Levi’s eyes were silvery and aglow with rage. “Where did they take my son?”

“O-Out…”

“Out where?”

“Out-outside… the walls…”

“They’re fucking outside the walls?!” The man nodded weakly. “Where? Show me on the map.”

With his free hand, Levi roughly shoved a map from the table in front of the man. Trembling, the man pointed to some area right outside the southern wall and nodded.

“You sure?”

“Y-yes…”

“I’d better find him there or else…” Levi warned as he held out his blade to the man’s neck. Eren could see a thin trail of red flow down the metal as the thug nodded vigorously. “And you’d better tell your boss that the next time he fucks with me, I’ll kill him.”

“Mmph…” A pitiful whimper leaked out and there was a disgusted click of a tongue as the dark-haired man tossed the thug down. A sickening thud sounded as the man’s head hit the back of the wall. Eren wasn’t sure if the man was still alive, but if he was part of the crew responsible for kidnapping Eirian, he deserved what had happened.

“Oi brat, remember this well. It’s where Eirian is being held.” Levi grabbed a pen to mark the approximate location. Eyeing the map, Eren noticed the triangle of small markings that looked suspiciously familiar. He wasn’t sure if he could replicate his previous journey, but he recalled they had gone scouting once and passed through a few decrepit structures in that area. Hange had mentioned it was the site of an old Scouting Legion settlement they had tried to start, but failed to maintain due to the large of number titans in the area. Thankfully, it was only a few klicks outside and wouldn’t be too hard to get to. The difficult part would be getting on the other side of the walls.

“Got it.”

“Good.” Levi wiped the blood off his blades and rolled up the map. “Let’s go.”

“What about a plan?”

“Tch, we don’t even know how many men they have. A plan would be fucking useless.”

“B-but…”

“We’ll just ride to the closest part of the wall and use the gear to cross over.” Swayed by the conviction and urgency in Levi’s voice, the brunet conceded. Since the location was outside the woods and clearing the outer gate would take time, using the maneuver gear to sneak outside was the best option. The exits to the world outside the walls were always heavily guarded, which made it surprising that the kidnappers had managed to get outside in the first place. However, money was known to grease many wheels.

They left the fortress in record time. As they mounted back up, Levi turned towards him and they shared a look of determination at hunting the kidnappers down and rescuing Eirian. Eren was very worried that the kidnappers had decided to venture outside the walls. They were either overconfident they could evade detection from the titans or stupid. Even he wasn’t foolhardy enough to go outside without proper training and a squad. It was always possible that they had members of the military or individuals trained in maneuver gear with them, but that didn’t automatically mean they would win against the titans. Even though it had been four plus years since they had eliminated the titans within the walls, the area outside the walls was still very dangerous. Eren hoped that by the time they got there, Eirian would be still alive and well.

They reached the wall rather quickly. At first Eren had thought Levi would struggle with climbing it, but the man was even faster at making his way to the top than he was. It wasn’t a difficult task propelling oneself up the walls and over to the other side. The skies were turning orange in the setting sun, making it a mesmerizing sight as overlooked the forest. Checking the map once more, they could see a faint trail of smoke rising from the treetops, giving them the precise location of the kidnappers.

Leaping down, hooks flew into the canopy of the nearby trees, breaking their fall as they headed eastward. Now on the other side of the wall, Levi took charge, seeming to be much more familiar with the terrain than the brunet was. It was understandable that the man was in a rush to save his son; Eren would have done the same if it were his boy, and he hoped the dark-haired man knew where he was headed and what he was doing. Eren had not been able to stop the older man as he flew through the air purposefully and masterfully using the hooks to launch himself further than Eren had ever seen anyone else do.

The nostalgic sight of the man flying through the trees touched something inside him, and Eren immediately thought back to his dreams. Overlaid on top of his vision was the same image that haunted his sleep, only clearer this time. The image of a shorter male with a neatly trimmed undercut and the Scouting Legion’s signature Wings of Freedom fluttering behind on his cloak.

There was only word that came to Eren’s mind unbidden.

“Heichou,” he breathed.

Levi must have heard him, as he whipped his head around, a look of tenderness and sorrow in his eyes as he suddenly stopped midflight. Eren quickly joined him on the branch, shooting the dark-haired man a questioning look.

“What is it, Levi?”

“You remember?”

Eren blinked, shaking the weird sensation away. He had no idea where that had come from. It stemmed from the same wistful longing that crept up on him whenever he was around Levi and Eirian. Shaking his head to clear the remaining cobwebs away, he could feel fragments of a dream slip through his fingers once more.

“Sorry, I don’t know where that came from. Remember what?”

“Nothing.” The light in Levi’s eyes died immediately and the older man’s expression became shuttered as he closed them. When his eyes reopened, they were carefully blank as he turned back and took flight once more. The brunet felt a pang of something, loss perhaps, from seeing the devastated expression before it had been wiped clean. Perhaps it had been a trick of the light?

Conversation died off as they made their way towards their destination. The cabin came into view a handful of minutes later. It wasn’t that difficult to spot given the trail of smoke which came from the open fire. In the fading daylight, they counted five men outside, and judging from the voices there were at least another two or three men inside the cabin.

As they neared the decrepit structure, Eren could make out the distinct sounds of conversation amongst the kidnappers. Some of them were complaining that it was too dangerous outside of the walls and they could get eaten by the titans, while one of them was trying to get the others to stand down.

“Why are we out here, Nob? There cud be titans about.”

“Shut up and quit yur complainin’, Will.”

“But…”

“Boss wants the runt brought out, so that’s what we do.”

“Yah, then what? What do he want wif the runt anyways? Can’t we just kill ‘im?” Eren exchanged glances with Levi upon hearing that Eirian was here. It was a great relief that they had found the hideout and that Eirian was still alive.

“No clue, but quit yur yappin’. Boss shud be here soon.”

“Fuck you, Nob. Who made yew boss anyways?”

“I did.” There was some shuffling about as another handful of men came into view on horses. Eren recognized the large man who exited the rundown cabin as the owner of the voice from the scuffle in the alleyway a few weeks ago. If Eirian had been kidnapped as a way to get back at Levi for interfering with them, Eren would never forgive himself if the boy had been harmed. At least it sounded like Eirian was okay for now. “Now, where’s the kid? He’d better be alive; he’s worthless if he’s dead.”

“Yah, the runt’s inside and asleep. We tied ‘im up.”

There was a sound of maneuver gear being used and he turned his head to see Levi retreat a few feet away on another tree. Following, he landed quietly beside the dark-haired man.

“What?” Eren hissed.

“You take the back. Get Eirian out as fast as you can.” Levi whispered to him. “I’ll take on these bastards.”

“But Levi…”

“Stop asking questions and do as I say, brat.” The commanding tone carried no hint of warmth and Eren shivered from the raw emotion behind it. Levi hadn’t openly blamed him for what had happened to Eirian, but the brunet knew the dark-haired man was thinking of it. It was completely his fault for causing such a disaster in the first place, and Eren would do anything to set things straight.

“You sure?” He looked askance at the man whose eyes glittered like black diamonds in the setting sun. If there was anyone who embodied a reaper, that would be Levi. Under the shadowed canopy, the man’s jet black hair and pale skin blazed with a thirst for vengeance. It was a look that Eren had seen reflected on his own face before: a need to kill those who had wronged him.

“Yes. I’ll distract them while you get Eirian out. Don’t fuck up, Yeager.”

Looking back at those frigid grey eyes, the last thing on Eren’s mind as he leapt away from the dark-haired man was failing. Even if it cost him his life, the brunet vowed to reunite Eirian with his father safely.


	12. Bloodbath

The moment Eren burst in with that note in his hands, stating that Eirian was missing, Levi’s blood turned to ice. He should have been more careful with Eirian. He should have watched over his son himself. He should never have agreed to let Eren take the boy out to watch a demonstration of maneuver gear. If it had been some ‘ordinary’ kidnapper asking for ransom money, he would not have been so anxious; at least then, they would not harm Eirian.

But these were no ordinary kidnappers looking for money. They were thugs from the Underground, where no rules existed. The dark-haired man was well aware of how they operated. The only tenet of those darkened alleys was that those with power and money would live to see another day. The weak died and loyalty came cheaply. No one cared about titans or the outer walls, all they cared about surviving down there. Levi had forgotten all about the filth, the stench, and the lawlessness that festered in the shadows. Those who were unfortunate enough to be born female would likely end up raped and working as whores. Those who were weak lived in fear of those who were stronger.

He thought he had left that life behind him, but the past had an uncanny way of coming back to haunt him. Few people knew him back there, but he supposed that he had made a bit of a name for himself running wild with Farlan and Isabel. Isabel with her fiery red hair and endless optimism that she would fight titans one day and make a better life for herself, and Farlan with his brotherly attitude and endless humor. Levi had been their big brother… and he had failed them.

Levi hoped that Eirian would be able to avoid the same fate someday. He doubted that bastard had ratted him out to other Underground thugs. Despite the savagery that existed, information did not come cheaply and many groups kept to themselves. Revealing too much would only make oneself weak. Although it was uncertain whether they knew Kenny was dead, everyone with half a brain had feared Kenny the Butcher, and by extension if they recognized him from way back then, Levi to a certain degree as well. They were right to do so.

His uncle was judge, jury, and executioner for those who got in his way, killing anyone he saw fit. The murdering bastard had mentioned his mother in the diary, so Kenny might have cared a little for family. But in the end, the asshole had left him behind to rot as well. The man was beholden to no one and his only agenda was to further himself. He might have escaped the stained hand of Kenny early on, but Levi had done his fair share of dirty deeds back then. Under his uncle’s tutelage, he had killed, mugged, and stolen. Most of it had been for survival, but that did not absolve him of the dirty deeds which stained his hands. He didn’t enjoy killing – the blood stained his clothes and it felt wrong to take a life – but the dark-haired man had no qualms when it came to dispatching men like those who had taken his son from him.

Reading the threat they left behind made Levi’s blood boil with rage. If they even dared hurt a single strand on his son’s head, he would tear them limb from limb and bathe in their blood. He would happily embrace the darkness inside of him, becoming even worse than his infamous uncle. He had barely managed to restrain himself from doing so to that man in the fortress, but only because the rat had aided him before and that way he had someone to interrogate if he didn’t find his son. They were dealing with thugs from the Underground who saw no harm in kidnapping, raping, or even killing a young boy. And he would deal with them in the exact same manner. It didn’t matter that Eren would have a front-seat view of the monster he might become; all Levi cared about was getting Eirian back.

From what he had heard, he breathed a small sigh of relief knowing that Eirian was asleep and the kidnappers were informed not to harm his son. It gave them a slim window of opportunity to rescue his son before Eirian woke up and caused a ruckus. Levi had barely escaped back then because he was scrawny, looked like shit, and Kenny had been around to watch over him for a while. But Eirian was too much like Eren. Too vivacious, bright-eyed, and didn’t know when to quit. There was no telling what they would to his son when he woke up and began asking questions.

On their journey here, all the dark-haired man could think about was what he would do when he finally found those bastards. He had seen Eren’s look of guilt and the unspoken apologies in those blue-green eyes, but Levi couldn’t bear to speak with him at the moment, let alone lay eyes on the brunet who looked so much like Eirian. Eren was the embodiment of everything that he had lost – his lover, his past, and now his future, if he didn’t get his son back – and the dark-haired man only managed to suppress the dark emotions welling up beside him from practice and sheer willpower.

He blamed Eren for losing sight of his son. Even if the brunet was related to Eirian by blood, this incident only showcased the gulf in their sense of responsibility towards the boy. Eren might feel guilt, fear, and anxiety over the kidnapping, but he did not understand the gut-wrenching terror of losing one’s child, of losing the only ray of light in his life. A small part of Levi wondered how much Eren would sacrifice for getting Eirian back. For him, the answer was simple: everything.

The dark-haired man would happily give up his life if it meant Eirian was safe. It wasn’t a satisfying solution or one he would prefer, but if that was the only way he could get his son back, he would. Although Eirian was as much Eren’s son as his by way of blood, the reality felt vastly different. For Eren, Eirian’s existence was a mere blip in time. Sure, Eren liked the boy and acted like a member of the family at times, but that was different from being a father. The brunet was not there when Eirian cried out because of night terrors or was down with a teething fever. Eren hadn’t had to deal with starting a new life while raising a son. The shifter might have grown up and led members of his squad into battle against the titans, but there were so many other responsibilities that came with raising a child.

Sometimes, the dark-haired man wondered if it was his fault for how things had turned out between them. Levi had had the opportunity, time and time again, to reveal the truth to Eren, but he had shied away from it. Eren didn’t even _know_ it was his own son that was kidnapped. Not that it mattered in the slightest. It was difficult to say whether that would have changed anything about the situation, but that did not stop Levi from wondering. Pushing those thoughts away, he knew there was only one thing he needed to focus on. Rescuing his son.

Deftly sailing to the next treetop, Levi wondered what the best plan of attack would be. From his vantage point, he could make out two guards who were fooling around, four men around the fire, and another few – including the leader - inside the cabin, and god only knew how many else there were. With these numbers, dealing with the kidnappers would be easy; he was more worried about the titans.

Even if it was approaching dusk, the sun had not fully set yet, and there was still a decent chance of being detected by titans. One or two titans would not be much of a problem, but Levi was worried about attracting more of them. He had no idea why the thugs had brought Eirian outside the walls. Perhaps they thought it would deter him from finding them, but if their shitty leader knew him back from their Underground days, the shithead would know that he would stop at nothing to get Eirian back. In fact, it was to Levi’s advantage that they had hidden in the trees so far away from civilization. Levi had flown through woods like the one they were currently in so many times fighting the titans that dealing with thugs would be a walk in the park.

He had already failed so many people in his life. Isabel. Farlan. His old squad. He would not fail Eirian, his one and only son.

The mini-brat, as noisy and messy as he was, was the only reason Levi could still smile those few years after Eren left. He knew he was not the best father, and in many ways he was unfit to be one, but Eirian never held it against him. Levi didn’t care if he would become a murderer; he would never forgive any of them for kidnapping his son. He would gladly paint the entire forest red if it meant getting his son back.

Glancing at the brat on a nearby tree, Levi didn’t know what to think about Eren at the moment. A part of him hated the brunet for losing track of their son, but he couldn’t fault Eren either. It was his fault for agreeing to let the brat take Eirian out in the first place. On the other hand, there was also no telling whether his presence might have prevented it from happening. He guessed that the men had been planning it for a while and had seized the opportunity as soon as it had arisen. It might have been sheer bad luck and timing that it had happened on Eren’s watch. Unfortunately, that did not excuse Eren for his negligence in taking care of Eirian.

Seeing the brat in position perched on a tree on the other side of the cabin, Levi gave the signal.

He immediately swooped down with his blades raised and decapitated the two guards. Naturally, alarms sounded at the intruder in their midst, but he didn’t care. Compared to titans, these fuckers were much slower to react and deserved to die. They had made the conscious decision to kidnap his son and threaten him with Eirian’s life, and for that, they would pay with their own lives. There was a cacophony of shouts and yells when they realized that they had lost two of their men and he used that to his advantage, flying back into the trees and out of the line of sight.

An arrow whizzed past somewhere to his left and Levi saw the thugs arming themselves to fight him off. As vicious as they were, they were nowhere as fast or organized as the military police he had had to fight to save Eren, nor were they as strong as the titans he had to deal with. Unfortunately, the presence of ranged weapons meant it was a terrible idea to fly through the air; there was no telling whether a stray bullet or arrow would ricochet and hit him accidentally.

Landing on the ground, he smiled darkly as the first fucker came at him with an axe raised. Deflecting the weapon with the blade in his left hand, Levi took advantage of the opening in the man’s side and quickly slashed with the blade in his right. Honed for killing titans, the sharp edge cut through skin and muscle easily. Using the momentum of his body, he spun and used his strength to drive the blade straight through the man’s spine. Blood spurted everywhere and the man’s yell sounded like that of a dying dog to his ears.

“The fuck?!” The men inside the cabin burst outside to check the commotion, and he smiled darkly at the numbers. Some of them who had seen him cowered immediately, shuffling backwards and talking amongst themselves.

Levi could feel the slick salty blood against his hands as he walked forward towards the cabin. For their plan to work they had to get to Eirian quickly, otherwise the men would use his son against him. A gurgled scream rang out somewhere from the back and he knew that Eren had also begun his part of the rescue.

Shooting out his grappling hooks, he propelled himself forward, blades raised and at the ready. The battle went decidedly downhill for their opponents after that. Levi wove around them, dodging, slashing, and deflecting against their weapons. It was difficult to fight one-on-one with so many armed assailants with ranged weaponry. There was a chance they would hit one another, but one stray shot would be all it took to take him down. Dispatching another of the thugs, he noticed them beginning to regroup. If they wanted to rescue Eirian properly, they would have to do it quickly.

Ducking the swing of another sword, Levi flew towards the cabin, heading for the leader of the group who had ducked back inside, presumably to grab Eirian and use him as leverage. Crossing his swords, he aimed his blades to strike at the man, but a shout alerted the bastard as he dodged. Landing on the ground, Levi went after the asshole who started it all, attacking with lighting fast slashes. Positioning himself in front of the cabin, they circled around each other. Levi was aware of the man’s subordinates eyeing them carefully, cheering their leader on. Taking the opportunity, he turned his head quickly, checking from the corner of his eye to make sure that there was no one else inside the cabin who could harm his son.

That moment cost him as a loud bang burst through the air. Whipping his head around, he saw a gun in the man’s hand and Levi reflexively twisted his body to avoid being hit. Unfortunately, he was too slow and heard the bullet bury itself with a loud thud in a plank of wood behind him. His triceps hurt like a thousand hot needles pricking at his skin, but judging from the amount of blood that leaked out and the burning sensation on his skin, Levi knew it wasn’t fatal.

But it wasn’t the right time to be worried. Even after dispatching some of his enemies, they were still at a disadvantage. Worse, the fucking fools had set off a loud noise with that gunshot and there was a chance it could alert unwanted attention.

Ignoring the sensation, he was aware of the rank bastard lunging with a knife. Sidestepping, Levi used his injured arm to elbow the man from behind. The force sent the man tripping over the ground. Pivoting quickly, he spun around and slashed the man from behind.

Straightening up, the dark-haired man was about to finish up the remainder of the kidnappers, but a loud crash caught his attention. Familiar tremors shook the ground and he swiftly used his grappling hooks to skirt up a tree. Trees shook, many of them being mowed down by the titan heading towards them.

The kidnappers were even more surprised than he was. Some of them began to panic at the sight of their leader dead, while others were stunned and freaking out about the ground shaking. Eirian had been long forgotten at the sight and sound of titans approaching. Eren was still locked in combat with some of the men, but Levi ignored them. Taking advantage of the situation, Levi tore a short rag off his cloak, quickly tying it tightly around his arm to stop the bleeding. Surveying the area around them, he estimated that it would be no longer than a minute or two before the real problem started. Dropping back onto the ground, Levi’s feet hit the dirt floor once readying to deal with the incoming threat and protect his still-sleeping son.


	13. Broken Wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apex of the story... also a double update with the previous chapter. The next chapter will be out in a day or two. Sorry for the angst! ;_;

Screams burst above them and Eren raised his head to see a giant hand swoop down to capture one of the kidnappers who had fled when the ground had begun shaking. There was a disfigured smile as the fifteen-meter tall creature lifted its prey and devoured the man. The kidnappers must have set off the titans or something with all the noise and the gunshot that rang out.

From the thuds on the ground, there were at least two more titans right behind the first one. Shooting his hooks into the air, Eren turned in the direction of the threat, seeing two thirteen-meter titans right behind the fifteen-meter who had swallowed its prey and was looking from side to side searching for its next target. If the titans got any closer, they would be within striking distance of the nearest district and there was no time to call reinforcements. Eren was not particularly worried about the walls, but as evidenced by what had happened more than a decade ago, they walls were not impervious either. What was even worse in the brunet’s mind was that Levi and Eirian were in the line of fire. Despite the older man’s fighting prowess, Eren doubted he could handle a titan, let alone three.

If it had been just one titan nearby, Eren might have had some chance of taking it down, but he had only faced numbers like this with his squad. Unfortunately, he was the only trained member of the Scouting Legion present. Working in groups was essential to combat the speed and strength of the titans. One could try taking them on singlehandedly, but it was a foolish endeavor, especially when there were multiple titans present. For such large, bulky creatures that seemed to move mindlessly, they could be lightning fast when they chose to. Their regenerative capabilities were not to be trifled with either. After incapacitating one of them, it was essential to work quickly and kill it before it could heal.

Hange had several ideas regarding the origins of such abilities, but there was no theory that could explain such speed and strength without a similar increase in muscle mass. It violated all the natural laws. Even the commander’s experiments with Sonny and Bean back in the day had remained fruitless. Hange had originally postulated that it might have had something to do with the composition of a titan’s body, but experiments had only revealed that they were light and dead titans would ‘dissolve’ into the air within minutes of falling. In spite of all these physical anomalies, at least they had managed to find some ways to best eradicate the titan threat.

Dropping beside the dark-haired man, Eren opened his mouth to warn Levi of the inbound threat so the man could retreat with his son back to safety.

“Fucking idiots.” Levi swore vehemently, flicking blood off his blades as he walked away from the carnage around him. Eren watched as the man grabbed a jacket from one of the corpses and wiped his blades clean on it, scowling as he walked. At the sight of the titans, the remaining kidnappers had abandoned the fight and scattered, running in different directions. Eren knew they would not be able to get very far and piercing screams soon testified to that.

“Levi you should stay back.” He grabbed ahold of the man’s shoulder. “I’ll take care of it.”

Even if titans did not normally approach this close to the wall anymore, it had been risky for the kidnappers to bring Eirian outside the walls. The fact that they had and that it was only late afternoon meant there was a decent chance they were aberrant titans. In other words, it was even more dangerous than facing normal titans.  Naturally, titan shifters were the worst to deal with. Aberrant titans were only slightly easier, because while they still moved mindlessly, they were less predictable than normal titans. In fact, many of the Legion’s losses in the last few years had been due to aberrant titans. However, even if these weren’t aberrant, and Eren seriously hoped they weren’t, facing that many meant almost certain death.

“Fuck no.” Levi’s instant rebuttal surprised him. Instead of panicking or freezing at the sight of the titans, the dark-haired man seemed calm. Eren had seen seasoned veterans shake at the sight of one titan, let alone three of them. They were an hour west of the south gate and there wasn’t any backup to assist them.

“Levi you’re injured and not trained for this. You don’t know what they can do.”

He had seen recruits rush off eagerly towards battle without thinking of the consequences.  Admittedly, Eren had even been one of them, only to learn that panic and anxiety would lead to defeat. It had taken time for him to understand how difficult it was to kill even just one titan. It was not as if one could just cut them and make them bleed. Severing the neck was the easiest way to dispatch them, but there were other ways as well. But most of those techniques took months to hone and years to master – even he had not perfected all those skills – and worse, most of the times they only worked when fighting in groups. Someone would distract the titan and lure them into a trap while the rest of them would incapacitate and kill it.

Even though Eren was one of the top graduating members of the 104th Training Corps and had been a squad leader for the last five years, he doubted that he would survive a head-on confrontation against three titans. Mikasa might have been able to defeat them with ease, but someone like Levi without any training would have even less of a chance. It was foolish for one man to try to take on three of them by himself.

“Just try to stop me, Yeager.” Levi wouldn’t budge, his grey eyes flinty in the setting sun. Eren hadn’t noticed it before, but each hand of the older man’s hands gripped blades that looked similar to those used in the Scouting Legion. They looked modified to fit his stature and the grip was different; he held one blade in a strange backhanded manner while pointing other one forward as normal.

“What about Eirian? He needs his father!” The brunet pushed back at the short man who barely grunted from the force. Levi seemed to be made of solid muscle as Eren tried to block the dark-haired man from making a mistake. Thank god the titan had been too busy with the kidnappers to notice they were there, but that reprieve was going to end very soon. “You should get him to safety and sound the alarm. I think there’s a Scouting Legion squad practicing nearby, so it won’t take too long. I’ll try holding them off until help arrives.”

“Tch, that’s unlikely since we’re fucking outside the walls. Besides, how long will it take them to get here? Half an hour? Those beasts are less than five minutes away. Who’s to say they won’t punch another fucking hole in the wall? We’d all be fucked then, Yeager. So _you_ look after Eirian and I’ll take care of it.”

“But Levi–” Eren reached out to grab the shorter man by the shoulder, but his hand only caught air. “Fuck!”

The man’s departure was lightning fast. Eren almost gave himself whiplash from spinning around, only to see that Levi had already launched himself and was heading for the titans. The only person he knew who could move that quickly was Mikasa, yet the dark-haired man seemed to be even faster than his cousin. No would have guessed that Levi had just been shot in the arm a moment ago with how he was moving.

An arm swung out to grab the dark-haired male and Eren was horrified to see Levi fly straight into its grasp. But instead of being captured, the man swung upward at the last minute, using his momentum to catapult himself behind the titan and swiftly dispatch it. From the ground, it had almost seemed like Levi had anticipated the titan’s attack and used the time its arm was outstretched and couldn’t defend to launch his attack to his advantage. It had happened so quickly, Eren had almost missed the dark blur as it spiraled in the air, cleanly severing the titan’s neck in half.

And there wasn’t any hesitation either when the man launched himself into the trees, heading towards the other titans.

Eren was left momentarily speechless. Those skills could easily rival the best of the best in the Scouting Legion. He did not believe for a moment that Levi had just pulled those abilities out of thin air. He supposed the man might have been in the military before, many people had, and retired to take care of Eirian, but it made no sense why no one knew of his name. Hange would have loved someone with Levi’s skills to teach them given how they had been short on 3D maneuver gear experts. If all the recruits had even a fraction of his skills, there would be significantly fewer casualties on the battlefield. The man knew exactly how to move with the maneuver gear – it was like an extension of himself as he wove between the trees – and target the weak points of the titans. The backhanded grasp was slightly unusual, but Eren could not argue with it given how Levi had become a whirlwind of death. It was beautiful, fluid and graceful, as he flitted through the air, weaving and dodging then striking with deadly precision.

The brunet was a little frustrated at how slow he had been to realize that the man had had combat training and experience with maneuver gear before. There was absolutely no way Levi was able to move as though he were performing a deadly dance in the air otherwise. All military personnel were trained in maneuver gear, so although Levi was certainly fast when flying through the air, Eren had not seen before just how deadly he was as well. When they had fought off the thugs, both back in town and out here, most of the combat had been on the ground and the brunet had been too busy attacking his opponents to pay attention to the dark-haired man’s movements. The unorthodox, almost scrapper-like style had masked many of the military-taught skills he also seemed to possess. But now that he was able to watch, Eren was stunned.

He had spent more than five years in the Scouting Legion observing and having been trained by some of the best talents the military had to offer, but none of them could compare to Levi’s skill. Even though the situation was dire, he envied Levi’s strength and skill with the maneuver gear; not many could move like the dark-haired man was able to. Even with all his years of training, Eren was definitely no match for the older man. Levi’s movements seemed natural, innate almost as he flew through the air. Many of the best Eren had seen were fast and precise, but it seemed robotic, as though executing a textbook sequence from memory. The way Levi moved seemed almost unreal after he cut down one of the thirteen-meter classes, who had snuck up from behind, slashing the vertebrae with lethal precision.

As the second titan fell, the third seemed to realize that there was a human in their midst as it roared and started running towards Levi, and by extension in the same direction as Eren and Eirian. In the background, the brunet could see the faraway titans beginning to make their move as well. Looking back at the boy, he knew he needed to see Levi’s son to safety, but it was _his_ responsibility to take care of the titans. If Levi was so good, why hadn’t the man joined the Scouting Legion and taught them all he knew? It would have decreased the number of deaths.

Checking his gas, Eren realized he only had half a tank remaining. That was barely enough to make a roundtrip to bring Eirian to safety and return to help Levi fight off the titans. Although he knew that Eirian was supposed to be his priority, Eren couldn’t bear to leave Levi at the mercy of those monsters. He knew what it was like growing up without parents and he didn’t want that for the small dark-haired boy. Plus, Levi had a valid point about the possibility of the wall being breached.

Although Eren doubted these titans had the ability to do so – they didn’t seem like titan shifters – it was a distinct possibility. Before anyone knew of titan shifters, no one would have believed that titans were also humans. It had come as a surprise to everyone and caused much panic. However, none of these creatures moved or acted like shifters. They acted like the mindless titans most of them knew, which also meant the chance of them breaking through the wall was slim to none.

Still, they were in a risky situation being caught outside the wall. Levi had done well dispatching the fifteen meter and the other thirteen meters, but the other titans were now close enough that they posed a threat. Cutting the rope around Eirian’s wrists, he picked up the boy who was still surprisingly asleep despite all the noise – they must have drugged him or something – and adjusted him so that he was comfortable on the threadbare bed. Covering Eirian with a blanket, Eren could understand why the man wanted to be the one fighting the titans, but it irked him how little regard Levi had for his son. Walking out the cabin, he launched himself up to a better vantage point, making sure there was no immediate threat to Eirian’s safety.

The cluster of titans from far away had begun nearing and Levi managed to dispatch the first few almost as quickly as the fifteen-meter class. However, the brunet could tell even from this distance that the dark-haired man was tiring. Levi’s moments were still fast, but they weren’t as lightning fast as they had been a few minutes ago. And now that there were multiple titans, he needed to simultaneously attack and defend from all sides.

Eren couldn’t help but cry out – not that anyone heard – as a titan threw a punch at the dark-haired man. Levi was not fully able to dodge the attack and instead crossed his blade to deflect and shield himself from most of the blow. That titan quickly lost its arm in the process, though it did regrow another one rather quickly, but Eren was thankful that Levi was still standing and had managed to escape something that was almost certainly fatal. Given how fast the man flew through the air it must have hurt.

Unable to hang back any longer, he made sure Eirian was safely asleep before launching himself into the fray of battle. The titans hadn’t been expecting him, so he managed to slay one of them before they noticed another human in their midst. He knew he had to be more careful without a squad to back his every maneuver and he wasn’t sure how to communicate with Levi in the middle of so much screaming and roaring from the titans. Despite those barriers however, the dark-haired man seemed familiar with some of the Scouting Legion’s tactics as he drew the attention of the nearest titan, giving Eren the perfect opportunity to strike.

Mentally, Eren counted down the number of remaining titans. There were nine aside from the initial three and Levi had dispatched nearly eight of them before he joined in. Now, there were only four titans remaining.

A loud crash sounded and he came face to face with a headless titan which immediately began dissolving into thin air. Three left.

One of the remaining titans was around ten meters and resembled a grotesque baby as it lumbered towards Eren. Flying eastward, he tried to position himself in a good spot to strike, but it was difficult. Most titans had trouble navigating through the trees due to their size, but this one didn’t seem to have as much of a problem as it chased after him. Looping around, Eren caught sight of Levi giving chase. Aiming his hooks at a lower branch, he swung down and took off one of its legs – barely avoiding being grabbed – and watched as Levi took the opportunity of it falling to slice the titan from head to tail.

Two left.

Making his way back to the cabin where Eirian was, Eren caught sight of the last two titans. One of them headed for the cabin while the other one was stomping in the direction of the walls. Motioning towards the smaller of the two, Levi took off without a word, heading left to save his son from impending disaster, while he headed for the last fifteen-meter titan.

It was much fatter than some of the titans he had previously encountered and Eren was surprised that such a large thing could move so quickly. It sent out a loud howl as it detected him, turning around and sprinting straight towards him. Grabbing the top of a nearby tree, he barely avoided being barreled down by the titan. It seemed to realize that it had missed him as it turned around, lunging at nearby trees, trying to locate him. There was a distant roar as something crashed several meters away from him. It looked like Levi had dispatched another one with ease.

One left.

At the sound of its titan friend? ally? buddy? – Eren had no idea what titans thought of their fellow titans – the fifteen-meter class let out a terrifying cry. He was sure the people living behind the walls would have heard the loud battle cry. He tried the same trick of incapacitating its mobility as he had done against the ‘baby’ titan earlier, but it surprised him by raising its feet to try and squish him. Dodging around its legs, he flew in the direction of the previously fallen titan, hoping to regroup with Levi and have the other man assist him in taking the fifteen-meter class down.

Eren must have miscalculated its movement and speed, however, as he found himself suddenly slammed against the trunk of a nearby tree. There was a sickening crack as his ribcage impacted against the hard surface, blackness threatening to overtake his vision as he plummeted straight to the ground.

And then the pain set in. The brunet was not aware of anything else aside from the fiery intense sensation. Breathing in, he tried to control the throbbing pain, but it was difficult. His ribs had been broken and there was a high chance that his lung was punctured given how it was becoming difficult to breath. Eren tried to roll onto his side to ease the pressure on his chest and make it easier to breathe, but a sharp jolt of pain lanced up his right leg and he barely stopped himself from screaming. All he knew was that this was going to be the end for him.

He was dimly aware of another resounding crash and smiled grimly at the fact that Levi had at least managed to get vengeance for him. He had seen enough injuries on the battlefield to know that his was fatal. Although Eren had long prepared himself for death on the battlefield, having seen much of it already, the brunet was surprised to know his death would not come about as the result of an expedition, but in rescuing his nephew. At least he had managed to do something right this one time. Eirian was okay. Even if Eren couldn’t see the small boy anymore, at least knowing that Eirian was safely reunited with his father assuaged his guilt for allowing the boy to be kidnapped in the first place.

He was sad that he would never be able to see Eirian all grown up though. And he had never fulfilled his promise to show the boy what it was like flying through the air on maneuver gear. Speaking of promises, in the fuzzy recesses of his mind, it felt like he had forgotten something important, but it was difficult to concentrate with the pain coursing through his body.

“Eren?!” Levi’s yell echoed over the forest. It was a dangerous idea given how there had been titans around them only seconds ago, but the woods were so densely packed that it made finding anyone difficult.

“Ov-over h-here…” He managed to laboriously piece together the two words in some semblance of human speech. Coughing up blood, he could feel the salty iron tang in his mouth as Levi’s footsteps sounded next to him. Hands gently rolled him onto his back, and Eren could see the concerned glance looking him over and mentally cataloguing his injuries. It was slightly easier to breathe, but Eren knew his leg or foot was broken given how he could feel it throbbing.

“Fuck.”

Fuck was right. Even if there were a medic nearby, Eren doubted he or she would have been able to do anything about his injury. Something could be done about the twisted leg, but it was the punctured lung that was the problem. Despite the lack of pressure, it was becoming more and more difficult to breathe. Eren could feel blood pool at the back of his throat. It was difficult to tell whether he was feeling cold from blood loss or hot from the pain anymore. His fingertips felt numb and his vision was getting blurry.

“It-it’s okay…” He spluttered, coughing up more blood in the process. The dark-haired man was going to be angry with him for staining his cravat. His mind was hazy, but Eren found the prospect somewhat amusing.

“It’s not okay, Eren. Just stop talking, brat.” He had never seen Levi so distraught, but it might have been an illusion conjured up by his feverish mind. An image of Levi’s face covered in steaming blood briefly overlapped with the current image of the man holding up his head. He could see the dark-haired man’s lips moving in, but he couldn’t hear anything.

Something gleamed dully and the metallic object grabbed his attention. It looked strangely like something his father used to have. Eren could not remember the last time he had seen it, and the last memory he had was of Grisha Yeager wrapping it around his neck. Yet inexplicably, he had no idea where it had gone. It was not like him to throw such an important keepsake away. Lifting his arm, the brunet used what energy he had and grabbed it without asking. Yanking the dark-haired male forward, his mind registered a gold band also hanging on the chain. Levi hissed at the action, jerking backwards and freeing himself from Eren’s grasp.

“Wh-where…” cough ”… d-did…?” The rest of his question died out in a splutter of coughs. The shuttered look was back in Levi’s eyes as he looked at him. The older man tugged the key away and Eren, being wounded, didn’t have the strength to hold onto it.  He let it go without much of a fight, and Levi tucked it back inside his shirt. Even wounded, Eren could make out pools of deep emotion in those darkened pupils.

Instead of answering, the dark-haired man began muttering something under his breath, adjusting his leg so it faced the right direction and tearing his jacket open so he could see the injury. Eren thought it sounded suspiciously like “heal damn it,” but that was wishful thinking. It was not as if he had mysterious powers and could heal after such an injury. Erwin, the former commander, had been lucky he had gotten away with just losing his arm, but Eren doubted he had such luck. He had lost too much blood already.

Thinking of Erwin, Eren was distracted from the cold seeping into his mind by the thought of another blonde’s wise words. What was it that Armin had said again… that their deaths were part of the job. At least he had done right on that. There was a calmness that settled in him as he realized he was going to die.

One of his biggest regrets as he lay there was that he would not be able to see the ocean. But there were many other things he wished he had said to important people in his life.

Eren wished he had told Mikasa he loved her earlier in the day; they didn’t say it enough. He hoped she would be able to find her happiness after losing so many people close to her.

He wished he could speak to Armin once more and tell the blonde how they were family, even if not bound by blood.

He hoped Eirian wouldn’t be devastated by his death. He had grown rather fond of the six-year-old boy over the last few months and all he wanted was to see the boy happy.

And Levi…

Anxious silver eyes came into view as Levi turned back to look at him. Eren could barely feel the hand that came up to gently brush hair out of his eyes and cup his cheek. It was taking more effort to keep his eyes open. Darkness was falling and he could feel his consciousness beginning to fade.

Eren wanted to tell Levi that it wasn’t worth it, but there was nothing to be done. Opening and closing his mouth, his lips felt like ice, as he tried to speak, but no sound came out. At the very least, he wished he could have apologized for pulling Levi into this mess, and for Eirian almost dying.

He wished…


	14. Revelations

“Ow! What the hell?”

Eren craned his neck in spite of the pain lancing through his skull, trying to see what was causing a painful heat to flare up from the location of his injuries. Twisting his head, the brunet was horrified when the wounds began to steam and his tissue began to magically knit itself together. The pain slowly faded as his bones began to realign and repair themselves, skin and muscle growing back as though he had never been hurt, and the blood in his throat seemed to clear.

It was not possible. No human could have healed that quickly or survived such a grievous injury. Glancing at his companion, he was shocked to see a relieved look in Levi’s eyes, as if the man knew what was taking place.

“Levi… W-what’s going on?”

 

* * *

 

The moment he had felt the familiar heat sear his skin and saw Eren’s shifter healing kick in, a wave of relief washed over Levi. He had seen his share of titan battlefield wounds to know when one was fatal. Eren had lost too much blood and if he had not been a shifter, he would have been dead by the time a doctor could look at him.

As much as he wanted to deny it, the current Eren had become just as integral to his life as much as the titan shifter had been before. Levi’s heart had felt like ice in those agonizing seconds seeing the blood pool around the brat, unsure whether Eren was going to heal or not. He had already lost Eren once, Levi didn’t know if he could go through losing the younger man again; he had barely survived the first time after Eren had used the Coordinate. This was even worse; there was no going back after death. At least with the memory alteration, he could live on knowing the shifter was alive, and presumably happy, somewhere.

Levi did not know what he would do if Eren had died. No matter what anyone said, it would be his fault for not training the brunet right all those years ago. It was would be his fault that Eirian would never be able to see his other parent. Or that Eren would never know he had a son. That _they_ had a son.

“Levi… W-what’s going on?” The dark-haired man knew the question would come up as alarmed green eyes stared up at him, but hearing those few words filled him with dread.

He knew that he had raised red flags in Eren’s mind the moment he had rushed off and exterminated all the titans without blinking an eye. As much as he trusted the brat’s skill, from what Mikasa had told him, Eren was good, but nowhere close to either of them. The titans they faced were not shifters, thankfully, lumbering with heavy footsteps towards the wall. Levi might be pushing it if they were aberrants, but if he was fucked, then Eren and any help, which would be undoubtedly be worse, would be doubly fucked.

Levi was well aware that he had not fought titans in over five years, or more precisely ever since the brat’s pregnancy came about, but he had kept up practicing with maneuver gear. Sometimes he would head off into the forest nearby and practice when Mikasa took care of Eirian or when he could not sleep and needed to work himself to exhaustion. There was no telling whether he would need to call upon the skills again, and his assumptions had proven correct.

After the first fifteen-meter titan fell, he felt like most of his titan-killing skills had come back as quickly as if he had never left. Even so, not that anyone would be able to tell, but Levi felt like he was moving a fraction slower than before. His reflexes and instincts had kicked in, but his body was less cooperative. The shoulder injury did not help, but it almost felt like he was moving through honey. The dark-haired man had already come to realize that his body was healing more slowly than when he had first joined the Scouting Legion. It was the inevitable consequence of aging and something he did not particularly want to think about. If he had not already left the military, Levi might have considered retirement in the next few years… if they would let him. The alternative naturally was to push himself to the limit and dying in some pathetic state outside the walls.

Heaving a sigh, he waited until Eren was fully healed before he wiped off his blades – not that there were any titan guts on them – and then slid them back into their sheaths. He’d deal with all the questions after Eirian was back home and safe. Barely a moment passed before the brat began freaking out.

“Levi? I know you aren’t telling me something. Who– What– How am I already healed?!”

The shifter slowly got up, examining his injuries in disbelief that the wounds had disappeared in a matter of minutes. Levi could see the shock and fear in Eren’s eyes as the shifter looked himself over. As expected, there was no any trace of a scar or injury to be seen, only perfectly smooth bronzed skin. He supposed anyone would be panicking if they had just miraculously healed from a fatal injury, but Levi did not have it in him to deal with this shit at the moment.

All he wanted was to put his son in bed, take a hot shower to clean off the blood and sweat, and indulge in a nice hot cup of tea. Something _normal_ to offset the fact that he had almost witnessed Eren die in his arms just moments ago. Even if it did not show on his face, Levi was shaken from the harrowing experience. But since he couldn’t run his hands over the shifter to confirm that Eren was alive and unharmed without seeming like a pervert, he opted for the next best thing. A shower and hot tea.

“Just follow me. I’ll tell you everything after we get back to the shop.”

He could feel the questioning glances the brunet sent his way as they walked over to the rundown cabin. Picking up his still sleeping son, he covered Eirian with his cape, careful not to disturb the boy. For once, Levi was glad they had drugged Eirian with some sleeping draught and he would not remember a thing by tomorrow. It had been a long day for all of them and it was a long way from being over.

The journey back to his home had been in relative silence, but given they were in public and the nature of what had just happened, it was better that way. The time also gave Levi the opportunity to consider what he wanted to say. Part of him wanted to ask Mikasa, but sometimes the brat’s sister lacked patience and tact. And with all that had happened between him and Eren, Levi wanted to be the one to tell Eren. Or at least be able to vet what was being said. He only hoped his cousin would not interfere.

His cousin had arrived after her training session and was waiting inside the shop when they returned. After tucking Eirian into his bed – the boy had woken briefly on their journey back – and making sure his son was safely asleep, he headed back out. There was a delicate click of the door closing and Levi groaned silently wondering how best to deal with the situation. He supposed this was long overdue, from the moment he had met Eren again in the town square. He was never good at this crap. Erwin and Hange were the talkers; he was just the one that did the killing. But he supposed there was no helping it now.

Levi took the opportunity to quickly rinse off all the blood and sweat before heading down and seeing what was up with his unwanted guest. Part of the crushing load in his mind lifted knowing that Mikasa wasn’t around. She would just interfere if she knew what he planned. The moment he laid eyes on the brat, his cleanliness standards kicked in and he cringed at the thought of the blood and sweat which were getting on his furniture.

“Go take a shower, you’re covered in blood.” He tossed a towel and spare clothes to the brat, nudging Eren in the direction of the shower. There was only one and he could wait. Sitting around while blood crusted on clothing was horrible and he definitely was not allowing more blood to mess up his furniture. His clothes would be a little small on Eren, even the ones he had kept from back when the brat was pregnant would not be long enough, given how much the shitty brat had grown. There was a questioning glance from the shifter, but he purposely ignored it. “We’ll talk afterwards.”

While Eren cleaned up, he took the opportunity to fix his injury up. Cleaning and dressing up his shoulder as best as possible, Levi was glad it was not more than a simple graze. The bleeding was not bad and he had lived through much worse. If it had been any deeper or required stitches, he would have needed to see a doctor. The number of scars he had accumulated from his time in the Legion would raise a good number of red flags about his identity, none of which Levi was particularly interested in discussing at the moment. Grabbing a clean shirt, he made his way back down the stairs where Eren was.

Levi could feel the curiosity from those bright green eyes burning a hole in his back as he walked to the kitchen to make tea. It had been so long since Levi had seen the messy, damp-haired look Eren used to sport when they were on missions or after a shower and he had to forcefully suppress his nostalgia. His nightgown at least covered the brat’s stomach just by a hair, so there was no bare skin exposed.

There was going to be a lot of talking and the least Eren could do was wait while he got his fucking tea. The brunet had been oddly quiet all night. It might have been the shock, but Levi was glad for it. It gave him the opportunity to think. Pouring the hot water over the leaves, he gathered his thoughts. There were things that did not need to be said, but much more would need to be explained.

Levi sat down reluctantly. It was impossible to know where to begin. At least the brat had not opened his shitty mouth to ask him to hurry up. It was frustrating enough knowing that what he was doing would probably make the brat hate him or think he was deranged. Sometimes Levi honestly thought he was crazy for knowing a past that was distinctly different from everyone else’s. That night he had been too nervous to sleep, so he had made vigil over Eren’s exhausted and sleeping form. That day had merely been a continuation of the previous day, and all the days which had preceded it. Time had not frozen for him.

“Levi…?”

Glancing at the brat, he realized he had been lost in thought. Eren had poured the tea into cups and served them without thinking twice. Even if it was because Levi had zoned out and the younger male was worried about the tea becoming too bitter, Eren’s automatic gesture gave him a modicum of hope. Not wanting to explain more than absolutely necessary, Levi figured he might as well start from what the brat remembered.

“Do you know what the Coordinate is?”

 

“So…” Eren paused thoughtfully as Levi finished his explanation. Judging from the skepticism in the brat’s eyes, he knew that what he had just said was highly unbelievable. Delicacy had never been his forte and the brat was never one for evasive answers. If anything, complicated answers would only confuse Eren more.

At least the brat had not interrupted and started asking questions. Levi had left out some key parts such as the true extent of their relationship, the real reason he had to leave the Legion, or who Eirian was. If Eren did not believe him or hated him for withholding the truth, at least the brunet would not want to take away his son either. He had also left out other less important details, such as rescuing Eren from Kenny or how the brat had gained the Coordinate in the first place. The important elements answering Eren’s questions were still there though.

“…Your explanation for all this is that I’m a titan shifter like Annie, which is why I healed so quickly. However, there were people who thought I was dangerous and assigned you to watch me. And after we managed to retake Wall Maria, they came after me again, which was why you guys got me to use the Coordinate and erase everyone’s memories?”

Levi nodded. That was the gist of it. At least the brat’s intelligence had gone up a few notches over the last few years. The same couldn’t be said about Eren’s stubbornness though.

“Suppose I believe you, wouldn’t it have been a better idea for me to make it so that I could remember?”

The brat had made a valid point, and it was something Levi had expected. He recalled Armin and Hange arguing over it for hours endlessly, but without details on the Coordinate or experimenting with its powers, there was no way for them to be absolutely certain. It might have been the case that the Coordinate was a limited use thing, in which case they wanted to make sure it worked the first time. As such, it was entirely possible that its memory-altering powers would be rendered ineffective after one use. Even if there were no such limitations, they did not know whether it was possible to make such detailed memory alterations or exceptions when using. Much of it would likely come with practice, but there was no time for that. All they knew was Eren had it and it taxed the shifter to use it. Other than that, the Coordinate was a complete black box and there had not been enough time to make certain.

“We weren’t sure how and whether it would work.”

“Levi… what you’re telling me is absurd. I’m supposed to be a titan shifter? And rewriting everyone else’s memory? This sounds like something from a children’s book.” Eren shot a peeved look at him and he sighed. Disbelief was written all over the shifter’s face.

The dark-haired man supposed it was good thing Mikasa wasn’t here. Although she could corroborate his story, her presence might have made everything worse. She would likely bring up Eirian’s parentage which was something Levi wanted to avoid at all costs. Even if it was a large part of why they had made the decisions they had, Levi refused to discuss it unless necessary; things were complicated enough already. Only Hange fully understood the science and he was certainly not going to call the four-eyed freak in on this.

“If I hadn’t lived through it, would I have known that this ‘Annie’ everyone talks about is the Female titan who was responsible for Petra, Oluo, Eld, and Gunther’s deaths? And she crystallized and is being studied by Hange? Or that Bertolt and Reiner were the Colossal and Armored titans who along with the Beast titan almost wiped out the entire Scouting Legion six years ago?” Levi knew he was taking a gamble by revealing his knowledge of classified military secrets, but he did not have much of a choice. Words were all he had and he hoped they would suffice. Thankfully, the past he had lived through and the past everyone else remembered had been fairly consistent with respect to some major turning points in his last few years at the Scouting Legion.

To avoid scaring the masses, the Legion had done its best to prevent knowledge of the other titan shifters from leaking out, meaning that what he had disclosed were military secrets. Before Eren had used the Coordinate, they had decided not to alter everyone’s memories of the titan shifters or notes on them (apart from the portion specific to Eren), as there was the risk of another one in their midst and having the knowledge would mean a better chance of dealing with it. Further, the Female titan was still encased in that strange crystal and there was no telling what would happen when she woke up. Her existence was a heavily guarded military secret; one that civilians should have no knowledge of. Mikasa had confirmed that Hange was continuing their research on titan shifters, although it had slowed considerably without Eren.

“Mikasa told you, didn’t she? There’s no way you could have known that otherwise.”

Clicking his tongue, Levi knew it was not going to be easy. Eren had always had a stubborn streak and even he himself would not have believed it, if he had not lived through it all. But Levi had, and he had seen Eren gaze blankly at him the day after using the Coordinate.

“Your sister hasn’t told me any of that. I _lived_ through that. Fuck, I know more about you than she does. Like how you killed two grown men to protect her. How you watched as your mom was eaten by the Smiling titan. How you felt like you failed Petra, Oluo, and the rest of the squad. How you have a fucking birthmark on your inner thigh.”

At the last statement, Eren’s eyes blew wide. Fuck, he supposed he shouldn’t have said anything that suggested more than superior-subordinate relationship between them, but it was too late to take back. The cat was out of the bag, and honestly, a small part of Levi was relieved that he was able to finally speak with such blunt honesty.

“How do you know about my birthmark? Even Mikasa doesn’t know about it!” Eren’s eyes narrowed in suspicion as the brunet glared in surprise at him. “You’d better not be stalking me, you sick bastard.”

Clicking his tongue at the ridiculous accusation, Levi could not help but sigh. As much as it was a bad idea, part of him wanted to just let everything out and let whatever happened, happen. The weeks of being next to the brat while holding back the truth were tiring and he did not know how much longer he could do it. Sometimes Levi wondered if it wouldn’t be a better idea if they just parted ways; he was tired of pretending to be someone he wasn’t and hiding who he was.

He knew from the onset that it was unlikely for Eren to believe a word he said; it was not like they were close in this new life, but he was sick and tired of all the deceit. That was Erwin’s forte; his was in killing things. However, the defensive tone in Eren’s voice told him it would be disastrous if he said anything about them in the past. The brat would probably talk to his blonde friend, Hange would get involved, and shit would fly. If it were just himself, Levi would not care if the world around him fell into chaos, but he had Eirian to consider.

“I saw it in those filthy communal showers, brat.” Dredging up the memory of the showers at headquarters, Levi grimaced at the thought of how filthy it likely was. The only reason anyone cleaned it was because they had to and most of the times it was a piss poor job. Hell, the entire place was probably a shitfest with how little Hange cared about cleanliness. Thank fuck he wasn’t living in that cesspool anymore. “I don’t know how else to say it. I was fucking there, brat. How the fuck else do you heal so quickly? You can ask your sister, Mikasa, she’ll tell you what I’m saying is true, damn it.”

He glared at the fiery light in the shifter’s eyes, neither of them willing to break away. For once in his life, Levi purposely tried to pull down all the guards and let Eren see what he was saying was true, but it was difficult. The brat in front of him was too different.

“Fine. I still don’t believe a word you’re saying, Levi, but I’ll ask Mikasa.” Eren exhaled, standing up. “I’ll see myself out. Thank you for the tea, Levi.”

There was something in the way those eyes glimmered that instinctively told Levi that if he did not do something, he would lose Eren for good. The brunet probably thought he was a madman or insane by now. Sometimes Levi doubted his sanity, but in this particular instance, things would get ugly if Eren had Hange run a medical check, looking for evidence of his existence as a shifter. Levi had no idea what or how four-eyes could tell if someone was a titan shifter, but the moment it came out, he would lose Eren once more. They all would.

“Wait.” Levi reached out reflexively, watching as Eren turned to face him with an impatient glance. The faint tap of metal hit his chest and he remembered the key. Untying the silk from around his neck – he could not bear the scratchy feel of the shitty twine Eren had used – he pulled the ring off the silk before handing the key over to Eren. “This is… was… yours…”

Eren hesitantly took it, palming the brass in his hands. Levi felt the loss the moment he had taken it off. Although he was not sure what he was intending to achieve by giving it back, he knew the key was a keepsake of Eren’s parents. The brat had given it to him to guard and he had, always thinking that one day he might be able to return it to its rightful owner. It was all that Eren had left of his parents after the titans breached Wall Maria and laid waste to Shiganshina.

Levi knew there was a risk that might lead Eren and the rest of the Scouting Legion to track down and salvage the remains of the basement, but in his mind, it was worth the risk. Even if Eren did not remember the key, what it represented, or the destroyed basement in Shiganshina, Levi figured that if there was anything which could prove what he said, that was probably it. There were so many emotions the brunet had associated with it – love, hate, anger, sorrow – that even after the Coordinate, even if Eren would never remember him, Levi hoped the shifter would at least be able to have some part of his past.

Despite all the reminders around him – Eirian, Mikasa, and Eren himself – Levi felt like a burden had lifted off his chest. If Eren had truly forgotten and would never remember, the dark-haired man felt in his heart of hearts like he could finally let the shifter go. It was a bittersweet pain, one had he gotten used to as he looked back at Eren who had not said anything or moved since receiving the key.

The faint ticking of the clock echoed in the background as those blue-green eyes slowly turned to look at him once more.


	15. Remembering You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The penultimate chapter you've all been waiting for!

Listening to the older man’s explanations, the only word that Eren could come up with was ludicrous. There was no record of him being a titan shifter and he was pretty damn sure he would have known if he was one. And _someone_ would have known _something_ about a thing as powerful as the Coordinate. Part of why he had not immediately dismissed the idea as outrageous was because Levi had invoked Mikasa’s name. Nor did Levi seem like the type of person to lie or to make outlandish claims, although that was no guarantee that he wouldn’t. At the very least, Eren would check the veracity of Levi’s statements with his sister the moment he returned to headquarters.

However, as much as the brunet wanted to deny it, hearing Levi’s description of events from the past reminded him of all those dreams he had had. There was something about them that resonated deep within his core. Some part of him wanted to nod and say ‘oh, so that’s why that is the case.’ The dark-haired man’s words seemed to dredge up blurred scenes just below the surface of Eren’s thoughts, similar to the faceless people who haunted his nights, before fading away once more.

Still, as _right_ as those words sounded, a part of the brunet couldn’t let go of the telltale nagging in his gut, telling him that there were things the older man was still holding back.

He didn’t know what to think if this whole crazy scenario was true. Eren was pissed at Levi, and Mikasa if she agreed with the man, for trying to feed him some half-baked lies as an explanation for what had happened. Another part of him was angry that they both thought he couldn’t be trusted with the ‘truth,’ if it really _was_ the truth. However, the desperation he had seen thrice now on Levi’s face – first when Eirian was kidnapped, then when he was injured and the man was asking him to heal, and now when he had been handed the key – seemed much too real to fake.

Glancing briefly at the dark-haired man who seemed tired beyond his years, Eren turned back to the object in his hands. The brass was warm in his palm. Pictures flashed in his mind as he envisioned his mother and father admonishing him not to play in the basement. Blinking the memory away, he traced the design with his fingers. There wasn’t anything particularly special about the key except his hand seemed to remember the shape as his fingers folded over it.

Staring as his closed fist, Eren could almost hear the click of a lock turning as images once forgotten began rushing through his mind. The disorientation was even worse than the first time he had used 3D maneuver gear. Nothing could compare to the plethora of sounds and faces that assaulted him and the brunet doubled over to clutch his head.

Years’ worth of memories, from everything about Levi to all the time he had spent in the Scouting Legion, were dredged up and compressed into one moment. Hundreds upon thousands of pictures flooded through his mind. Both the good and the bad battered his brain with brutal force. It was as if Eren was instantaneously reliving the entirety of his first few years at the Scouting Legion all over again.

Waking up to find himself imprisoned and questioned about being a titan shifter. The beating at the military tribunal.

Finding out he could heal and regrow limbs. Learning how to shift and control his titan transformation.

Levi’s Special Operations Squad. Petra. Oluo. Eld. Gunther. Training and the demise of the entire team at the Female Titan’s – no Annie’s – hand.

Hange and their experiments. Learning and attempting to master his shifting abilities.

Cleaning the Scouting Legion headquarters from top to bottom.

Being captured by the Reiss family and Kenny Ackerman. The memories of his father, of the First King, and of things in the past humanity had forgotten. Obtaining the Coordinate.

Hardening. Defeating Rod Reiss. Repairing the wall.

Erwin, as their commander, leading an expedition with only one arm to regain Shinganshina.

The battle for Wall Maria. The Beast titan. Beating back Reiner and Bertholt in their titan forms. Erwin dying. So many lives lost.

Nausea. His pregnancy. Eirian.

Levi.

It was as though winter had finally ended. The ice that had begun melting when he had met the dark-haired man had grown into a trickling brook over the last few months. But now, the moment Eren recalled the past, it had become full-fledged river, roaring and threatening to inundate him with its force. There were so many images flooding his mind it was difficult to focus on any particular one thing. The river gradually slowed and he was able to latch onto one thing. The most important of things he had forgotten. Spring bloomed once more as those feelings he had once held now resurfaced.

Eren held back a choked cry as those emotions he held for so long came back a hundredfold, threatening to overwhelm him. The brunet didn’t know how he had managed to use the Coordinate, whether it was out of sheer desperation or luck, to wipe away his memories of his former Captain. It was no wonder Levi was so achingly familiar to him. Why he had chosen the room he had back at headquarters. Why there had been a strange compulsion to clean the room obsessively. Why he drank black tea at night, even though he had never really enjoyed it. Why it was so nostalgic seeing the man once more and being called a ‘brat’ even though he really disliked the nickname. Why he kept having the same dream over and over again.

Why there had always seemed to be a void in his heart, as though some integral part of him was missing.

Levi was his Captain, his lover, and the father of their son.

The man had saved the brunet’s skin countless times from the Female titan, from Rod Reiss, from his own brashness, and from despair. Had it not been for his dark-haired Captain, Eren would not have known how to overcome the pain and sorrow of failing those around him. In his unique way, which often involved a quiet cup of tea or simply sitting quietly together, Levi had been his pillar of support in those dark times.

He had idolized the man for being _Humanity’s Strongest_ and killing so many titans, feared the man for beating him up in the military tribunal and all the harsh training, and hated the man for seeming so cold in the face of the Special Operations Squad’s death, until Eren had realized that Levi was not what he seemed. His Captain had simply been better at putting on a façade and hiding behind his mask. It had been a gradual realization, but as Eren’s understanding grew, so too did other feelings. What had begun as a purely physical relationship to get over the pain of losing one’s squad mates quickly evolved into something much richer and more intimate.

Yet at the same time, Levi had never fully been his during those days. The dark-haired man was _Humanity’s Strongest_ , bound by obligation and his skills to be the best and save them all from the titans. An invaluable member of the Scouting Legion who could easily take down a dozen titans without breaking a sweat. But the dark side of that ability was watching other members of one’s team fall in battle. Although the man’s abilities meant he was beholden to none, Eren knew that the memory of those he had lost on expeditions constantly haunted Levi’s dreams. The dark-haired man often had difficulties sleeping. Whenever his Captain had been able to fall asleep, many of those nights were plagued by nightmares and Eren would sometimes be rudely awakened by his Captain thrashing in bed.

On the streets, most people lauded Levi as a hero, though others sometimes saw him as a monster with how unfeeling he seemed in the face of all his fallen comrades. They looked up to him as the sole human who had been successful and continued to be successful in eradicating the titan threat. Children idolized him as their hero and commoners thanked him for saving them. Even the nobility who feared his strength, respected him. But that was the price of fame and glory. Being at the pinnacle meant few friends and fewer people he could trust, more so given the dark-haired man’s acerbic personality and dislike of the nobility. Levi had been the only individual the military tribunal thought could keep him, a titan shifter, in line. It was a great and terrible burden to have.

In some ways, the dark-haired man had been more trapped than Eren was. As a titan shifter, his entire being was bound to the Scouting Legion; the tribunal had staved off his execution because they thought he could be controlled, but Levi was different. Being _Humanity’s Strongest_ meant he was the symbol of hope that they could defeat the titans. And even if the title was outwardly labeled as voluntary, Eren was well aware that his Captain would never be completely free to leave the military unless the older man was incapacitated and unable to fight or until he died. Being the best meant he was thanked for saving them, even if the man was devastated by the losses incurred. His Captain was bound by the strictures of duty beyond what most would think possible.

Just because a person was great at killing did not mean he was any less human. Back then, everyone made Levi out to be more than he was and the man’s cold demeanor only heightened that illusion. In reality, the dark-haired man was anything but. Yes, he was harsh and asked much of his subordinates, but that was because anything subpar would mean certain death. Eren’s former Captain was a man who had lost much and given even more to a world that did not understand him. A mortal given the title and weight of a thousand men; a title he never asked for and responsibilities he never wanted. A person who had barely savored the pleasures in life, such as having a family, only to have them rudely taken from him. The dark-haired man had once told Eren that if they ever got out of their godforsaken hellhole, he might actually consider settling down now that they had a tiny brat to take care of.

It was such a whimsical and commonplace dream, but it echoed with the harsh realities of what Levi had gone through. Settling down would have been a regular occurrence for anyone else, Eren included, but the older man had never experienced the warmth of having a family or dreamt of the possibility of a future outside of surviving the next expedition and killing titans.

Eren was now glad that in spite of how things played out, Levi had managed to achieve that whimsical dream. None of those shackles tying him down existed anymore. He was not the same Captain Levi whose name demanded respect from children and whose fame exceeded his height. He was Levi Ackerman, a _fairly_ quiet teashop owner raising his son. Traces of the old Captain remained and would always be there. Eren knew that the older man had not changed that much; he had only shed his persona as the Captain and focused his energies on keeping his family safe.

The brunet’s gut fell at the thought.

Levi had kept his promise.

But Eren hadn’t.

What he had done was leave false promises and smiles behind. The older man had been ready to let him go, and told him to find happiness if the Coordinate caused him to forget, but Eren had pleaded with Levi to never give up hope. He could still remember the oath he had sworn that day before everything changed. That he would never forget, that Levi was the only one for him, that he would wake up after using the Coordinate and be back by Levi’s side before the night fell once more. Desperately wishing and hoping for a future together, Eren promised that their story would not end in those woods so long ago, the same woods that had so often haunted his dreams.

Eren had no idea how long Levi had waited for him. How long it took before the fire in those eyes faded. There was no telling much time had passed before one stopped wishing for a miracle. A day? A week? A year? Was the man still waiting for him even to this day? Or had it faded bit by bit, until nothing but a hollow shell remained? The words he had uttered back then so foolishly seemed so empty to him now. Eren had never considered the implications of what would happen if their dream could not come to fruition.

Levi had accepted his use of Coordinate as the most strategic course of action, but Eren hadn’t. He had used it reluctantly, hating every moment of doing so, but did it anyways because Levi had asked him to. He hadn’t really understood the consequences of rewriting everyone’s memories which was why he had made so many foolhardy guarantees. They were the whimsical desires of an immature youth, bearing no substance, yet granting a bittersweet sense of hope.

Even now, the brunet couldn’t fathom how he had managed to wipe the most important person from his existence. How he managed to lose sight of the one individual he had promised never to forget. The promises of remembering, of raising their son together, and of being by Levi’s side for eternity now seemed so rash and guilt clawed at his gut. It was like giving false hope to someone who had already lost all hope of a future. The shifter would not be surprised if the man did not want to have anything to do with him after all the pain he had put Levi through. And yet, Levi had accepted him once more into his life and family.

“L-Levi… hei-heichou…” Standing straight once more, now that the onslaught of memories had tapered off, he realized that Levi must’ve stepped towards him in alarm when he had clutched his head. Seeing the face of his Captain so close, eyes anxious and dark with emotion, made everything seem that much more real. All those uninterpretable glances and shuttered looks made sense now. Hot tears leaked out of his eyes as he wept for the man he had forgotten and remembered once more. “I-I’m sorry…”

“Eren?” Levi blinked at him, as if confused at the sudden mental breakdown he was having.

“I-I remember… I-I’m so sorry for leaving you behind… for every-everything…”

Eren couldn’t see clearly with the moisture disrupting his vision, but he could only imagine Levi’s shock when the man didn’t respond. Regaining his memories had stunned him as well, but it must have been worse for Levi. As his gaze dropped back to the floor, he could only imagine what it was like for his former Captain who was forced to spend time with his former lover, being an arms width apart, but still not close enough.

The deep breath Levi let out made him look up. The guarded look in those sleep-deprived eyes was back. Staring into those dark orbs, Eren had no idea what to say. They had been apart for so long and all he could think about was apologizing for not remembering. The only sound in the room was the quiet ticking of the clock marking the passage of time.

The shifter wasn’t sure how long they had been silent for. He had been too engrossed in feeling the torrent of memories and emotions wash over him. It poured into the chasm inside him and completely washed over the false memories implanted by the Coordinate. They were still there, but the altered past seemed that much more fake now that he knew the truth. It was as if the pieces of a puzzle had finally come together.

The strange sense of nostalgia, the weird glances and hushed whispers between Mikasa and Levi, and the feeling as though he was missing a critical part of himself. After so long, he finally felt whole once more.

Staring at Levi, he traced those stony features with his eyes, looking for the person his Captain had become. The jet-black hair, pale skin, metallic eyes, and thin lips perpetually turned downwards in irritation were all there, but they were also different. When they had both been in the Legion, Eren had barely noticed the haunted, haggard look in the dark-haired man’s eyes.

And those three little words that had been worming their way through him ever since the day he had bumped into Levi on the street – no, since the moment he woke up chasing after his former Captain in those dreams – bubbled up.

“I-I…”

As strong as the compulsion was to say it aloud, the thought of doing so was terrifying. Eren did not know if the dark-haired man would still think the same of him. He was not the same person anymore; neither of them was. Yes, there were still shadows of the same Levi and Eren they had once been. But time had changed and their lives were completely different now. The brunet had only known the current Levi for a few months. They were not the closest of friends, and his former Captain had never been good at revealing his emotions to begin with. What if Eren had misread all the signs and Levi had simply been nice to him since they shared a past and had a child together?

“Spit it out, brat.”

A small chuckle burst out of him unexpectedly. It was a comforting thought that even after all this time, the older male had not changed much. His former Captain’s response had been every bit as clipped, terse and forceful as he remembered.

“Tch, are you mental?” Those gunmetal eyes sharpened in irritation, scowling at him, as his laughter only grew. “What the fuck are you laughing at, Yeager?”

“N-nothing.” He smiled humorously at Levi’s comment; it was so much like what his Captain used to say to him. The happy bubble deflated slightly as Eren smiled wanly at the remembrance, still feeling the slight ache even though the wound had fully healed over. The look in Levi’s eyes told him that his former Captain did not believe an ounce of his bullshit. “It-it’s that you haven’t changed much, heichou.”

“Tch, fucking brat…”

Eren lifted his hand and slowly held it close to Levi’s, seeking permission. The older man didn’t move away and Eren interpreted that as acceptance. With all that happened, some part of him still thought he was dreaming, but feeling the warmth of Levi’s hand against his grounded him. There was a wary look in the older man’s eyes as Eren gently ran his fingers over the scabbed and hard skin on the older man’s hands. The feel of those same hands that had once roamed his body, memorizing his skin, was familiar. It was yet another reminder that Levi had not changed as much as he had feared. The man was much too battle scarred to ever fully become one of those smooth-skinned saps his former Captain had once groused about.

Even if he had not remembered Levi, Eren would have bet his life that he was already falling for the man. Unlike the first time when their relationship had evolved from mutual respect, this time it was the interactions between the father-son pair. It warmed his heart seeing the dark-haired man carrying his son on his shoulders. His former Captain had never been a personable individual, but his body language was unmistakable where Eirian was concerned. Even if Levi might not say it, it was clear he cared deeply for his son – _their_ son – and Eirian definitely loved his father just as much.

In the last couple of months, Eren had already grown attached to the boy, but now that he could remember the time they had spent together when Eirian was born, there was no way Eren was going to give up being part of his son’s life. He had already lost so much time and their son was growing so fast. Even if Levi refused to rekindle what they had – though he doubted that was the case given how Levi still seemed to hang onto what they had – or they didn’t reveal to Eirian that Eren was the one who birthed him, the brunet would fight tooth and nail to spend time with his own flesh and blood.

Raising his hand to the clean-shaved cheek, he could see the softening in Levi’s eyes as his former Captain’s hand came up to cup his. It was easy to see that he was not the only one tormented by what they had lost and only recently regained. Even if Levi’s face retained some semblance of youth and the shadows, which had haunted those grey eyes, had lifted, the dark sunken circles around the older man’s eyes were more pronounced than he remembered.

He now understood why Levi had stopped him from saying those three words that day back in the woods. Why the man had made him promise to tell him only if he remembered. As painful as it would have to be without one’s lover, knowing and hearing that short phrase, and then losing the same someone within hours was too heavy a cross for anyone to bear. And if the worst came and Eren remembered, but didn’t feel the same anymore, which might have been possible had he met someone else, then not hearing it from his lips would have made the healing just a fraction easier. Eren did not know how Levi had managed to keep his calm during the last few weeks ever since they had become reacquainted as merely friends, but there was no more need for sleepless nights or haunted dreams, now that they were together once more.

“Hei… L-Levi…” It felt slightly weird saying the man’s name. In his mind, Levi existed as both his Captain and Levi Ackerman, shop owner and father, simultaneously. The memories he had lost were just as fresh as all the new ones he had created with the dark-haired man. Eren could recall calling the man ‘heichou’ as if it were only minutes ago, but for something of this magnitude, addressing his former Captain by his title seemed wrong.

Even though Levi remained silent, Eren could see the questioning look in them.

That feeling had evolved over time, combining what he felt for his Captain back then with what he felt for Levi now into something beautiful. And finally, after all these years, after all that time, and after Levi rudely interrupted him the first time and asked him to say so only if they met once more and he still felt the same after remembering, Eren gazed straight into Levi’s grey eyes and spoke from his heart.

“…I love you.”


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done posting this NaNoWriMo Winner! Made a couple thousand words worth of edits, upped the angst factor, and added more fluff in the process. Thank you for reading and my beta for editing!
> 
> I'm working on a few other shorts these days, and will be posting my next long fic AFTER the holidays. In the mean time, hit me up on [tumblr](http://paradoxicallysimplistic.tumblr.com/) if you have any ideas you'd like to discuss. I'm happy to take requests as well!
> 
> Until next time! Toodles!
> 
> * * *

“Fucking heavy brat…” Eren found himself rudely awakened by the sensation of Levi complaining and pushing him off his body. “… the hell did you eat to get so big?”

“Levi…” Blinking blearily, the brunet fluttered his eyes open as his body was unceremoniously shoved to the side where it was cooler, rather than lying on Levi’s warm chest. Annoyed grey eyes glared back at him and he smiled tiredly, yawning a little. “What time is it?”

“Time to get up, lazy brat.” Judging from the amount of light that streamed in through the window and the street noises filtering in from afar it was later than he normally woke up.

“Ugh… Whose fault is it that I’m tired and ache all over?” Even though Levi did not respond, Eren could almost see the familiar smirk mocking him for being out of shape. “Shut up, pervert.”

His hips and lower back were sore and all he wanted to do was sleep for another few hours. In the past, his healing abilities might have helped the aches and pains, but those abilities were now suppressed and would only flare up in cases of serious injury. Those accumulated between the sheets did not count. Eren also was not sure whether to be glad or be embarrassed now that any love bites and hickeys took their normal time to heal. It had never been a problem back when they were both members of the Scouting Legion since his skin would heal in no time, but now he frequently had to find ways to disguise the reddish-purplish marks Levi seemed to enjoy making.

It had been nearly two months since he had regained his memories and they were now married. Levi had not forgotten, and the golden ring which had symbolized their promises to one another, had found its way onto his finger once more. Although it had taken some time for them to get used to one another’s new lives and personalities, Eren could not bear to be apart from Levi and Eirian any longer. If he had never forgotten, they would have already been living together for years.

Eren had spent much of his time apologizing to his former Captain that night he had gotten his memories back, until Levi had been fed up with his talking and threatened to give him the boot if he did not shut up. Neither of them wanted to be apart, though, so in the end they had gone to bed together. There was no sex; they simply curled together seeing comfort, healing, and the chance to be together once again. Eren spent much of the time asking Levi questions about the last few years, some of which the man only replied to with simple yes’s and no’s. Eventually they had fallen asleep sometime late at night, still curled up in one another, and for the first time since Eren could recall, he had the same dream, except everything from Levi’s face to the promises they had exchanged was crystal clear. In some sense, he knew it was his mind saying farewell to the dream. In retrospect, maybe the dream had manifested as his subconscious’ attempt to try and jog him free of the memory block he had put on himself. Having regained what he had lost those years ago, Eren’s mind and heart were finally at peace with the knowledge of what the dream meant.

Most of the people around him were happy for him, although many like Armin were concerned and slightly skeptical given how he seemed to be rushing into things. In his heart, however, Eren knew it was the right decision. Mikasa was happy that he was reunited with his son once more and Eirian was ecstatic that he could now call Eren ‘daddy.’

No one knew whether he still had titan-shifting abilities or whether Eirian had inherited them from him, but they were not in any rush to find out. Eren had no doubt he had retained those shifting abilities, but whether they were readily accessible or if he could control them would need experimentation and practice, and neither he nor Levi were particularly keen on that. It was fortuitous that he had avoided serious injury in the last five years; there was no telling what might have happened if others had seen his abnormal healing. The last thing Eren wanted was to stir the military dogs into a frenzy and lose Levi again.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Hange and Armin would never remember the real events of the past and they could nothing do about that. Instead, they pretended Eirian was only Levi’s biological son and that the boy’s mother had died in a titan attack. Judging from the secretive looks Eren had gotten from both of them, however, they likely suspected something given how quickly Eren had grown close to the father and son pair, as well as the physical similarities between them. Either way, it was impossible to prove given that male pregnancies were possible and what had happened to him had been a strange fluke from one too many of Hange’s experiments and his shifting abilities.

Maybe it was because of how they had been apart for so long, but Levi was much more affectionate, both in and out of bed, than he had been when they had been in the Legion. Or at least as affectionate as Levi could be, given how the older man still called him a brat and ordered him to clean. Of course, they did not have to worry about the unusual power dynamic or any fear of reprisal anymore. The older man’s behavior was reminiscent of when Eirian was first born, and as much as Eren wished he could have seen his son grow up, he was glad he could do so now. They had been secretly married within a month of Eren regaining his memories – Levi did not want it to be anything big and Eren was still busy with the Scouting Legion – but they had invited close friends and family to the event. Even now, sometimes the brunet had trouble believing he was actually wedded to his former Captain.

As expected, there were still some difficulties getting used to how domestic his life had become. It had taken Eren some time to adjust to living outside the barracks and with a family again, and especially the intimacy shared with Levi, but the brunet would not trade anything for the blissful life they had together. It was uncertain whether he could have another child. Neither he nor Levi was especially fond of Hange’s experimentation and all the risks involved, so they held off on asking about it. Eren did not look forward to being pregnant again, and raising questions where there should not have been any would only disrupt the peace. They were already blessed with Eirian and if they wanted another child, an idea that Levi did not seem particularly receptive towards, they could always adopt.

Running his hands along that pale, battle-scarred body, the warmth under his palms reminded him that none of this was a dream. Eren had been pleasantly surprised at how fit Levi was even after being out of the military for so long. Despite the laughable difference in their heights, the former Captain was still a force to be reckoned with. Although Eren was stronger and faster than he had been before, they had sparred earlier this week and Levi still wiped the floor with him. In his defense, he _had_ lasted much longer against his husband this time around. Eren had also watched Mikasa spar with their former Captain and that had been a much closer match, both of them not giving in until Eirian had gotten hungry and wanted lunch. The brunet had called the outcome a tie, but both Mikasa and Levi muttered that they would have won.

One of the most amusing things Eren had noticed after regaining his memories was the height difference between him and Levi. Before regaining them, it seemed sometimes as though they had been nearly eye-to-eye, but now he actually felt almost a head taller than his husband was. Maybe it was just a noticeable side effect of how their relationship changed. Eren wasn’t sure and didn’t care to analyze it, but he knew his former Captain hated it when mentions of his height were brought up. Still, he could not pass up the opportunity to tease Levi, even if he later paid for it when practice sparring or in bed. It also posed the occasional challenges in bed, but they had easily managed to overcome those, as evidenced by how sore he was.

“Just let me sleep, Levi…” Suppressing another yawn, Eren snuggled his face into the sheets once more, pretending to close his eyes.

“Tch, whiny brat.”

“At least give me a kiss if you’re going to wake me up, _heichou_.” A corner of the brunet’s mouth quirked up as he teased his husband.

Turning his head, he saw the roll of Levi’s eyes as the dark-haired man clicked his tongue. A moment later lips descended on his. The moment he opened his mouth, however, the kiss stopped.

“Ugh, gross.” Eren snorted as the older male pulled away, scrunching his nose in disgust. He had been forever trying to get Levi to kiss him in the morning, but the dark-haired man continued to bemoan how his breath smelled until he had brushed his teeth and washed his face. Levi gave him another shove. “Now move your filthy ass, Yeager.”

“Mmm… I don’t want to.” Feeling Levi roll off the bed, Eren pulled the blanket over himself and shut his eyes for real. In the background, he could hear water splashing as Levi finished his morning ablutions. In the softness of the feather mattress – they had bought the luxury item since they were both sick of the hard military-issued straw mattresses and it would be easier for all those other bedtime activities – Eren was on the cusp of falling asleep when there was another nudge on his backside.

“You know if you don’t wake up soon, Eirian will be up.”

“Shit!” At the mention of their son, Eren’s eyes snapped open. He had promised the boy he would make latkes for breakfast. It was a recipe passed down from his mom and he loved being able to share more things from his side of the family with their son. Rapidly getting off the bed, the brunet dashed to the bathroom to shave, almost nicking himself in the process, and get ready. Levi was already dressed by the time he had finished washing his face and opening the door to a loud knock.

“Papa and daddy are so slow! I’m hungry!”

 

“Daddy, daddy! Can we go for a picnic?”

“I’m fine with it.” The dark-haired boy beamed and gave Eren a big hug. Putting his cup down, he squeezed Eirian back before patting his son on the back. “But go ask your papa as well, Eirian.”

“Okay…”

Eirian had taken to Eren as if he was really the boy’s father, which he was. Eren had once asked the boy how he felt about him replacing the non-existent mother Eirian never had, and the answer had come in no uncertain terms when his son had called him ‘daddy’ for the first time. He had worn a goofy smile that whole day and earned multiple disgusted looks from Levi. The boy had also said it made Levi happier, which only made him love their son that much more. Although Eren was still sad that his son might never know that they were biologically related, it might be for the best. It was a small concession for the life he had.

A few weeks after they had married, Eirian had asked where Eren was always going, making him realize just how little time he was spending with his son. Most of his daylight hours were spent training and sparring with new recruits. As much as the brunet enjoyed what he was doing at the Scouting Legion, he wanted to spend more time with his family. After talking to Hange, they allowed him go into semi-retirement. The brunet still went in at least once or twice a week to help with training and assessment, but most days he helped run the shop or take care of Eirian. There were many other talented members of the Legion these days who could easily replace him – not that anyone knew about his shifting – and so Eren’s schedule had now changed to running the shop with Levi and taking care of Eirian. He did, however, go in at least once a week to see how things were doing. The Legion had been his life for the last couple of years and cutting all ties with them was out of the question.

“Papa! Papa!”

The key around their son’s neck swung from side to side as Eirian ran up to Levi. They might never discover what was in the basement, and honestly, Eren did not care as much anymore. The brunet still wanted to eradicate all titans, but he had learned quickly in the last few weeks that he could not have both. The more time he spent hunting titans, the less he had to spend with his family. Without his shifting abilities, although he was one of the most skilled members, he was not the best nor was he indispensable to the Scouting Legion anymore. Many incoming recruits had the same passionate drive and skill to replace him.

“What?” There was an irritated scowl as Levi turned around to look at their son. Eren looked up and arched an eyebrow at his husband who currently had his back turned. There was no doubt in his mind that Levi had heard their son’s request, even if the older man hadn’t said a word.

“Picnic! Please… Daddy said yes…”

“Fine, brat.” Levi’s eyes flickered to Eren briefly, before turning back to their son. They closed the shop every Friday so that they could both spend time with Eirian, but so far, it had never really formalized into anything out of the ordinary. Hange often called Eren back last minute to train some new recruits or take over since they were understaffed and busy with an experiment. This was the first time in a long time that they could do a day trip and Eren couldn’t wait. “But only after you’ve cleaned your room.”

“Thank you, papa!” Small arms wrapped around his father as Eirian squeezed Levi who half-heartedly glared at the brat trapping him in the embrace, before the dark-haired boy ran off. “Yay picnic!”

Shaking his head at the sight of their son scampering up the stairs, Eren turned around to see Levi shoot him an expression as though asking ‘what?’ The brunet was pleasantly surprised to fully discover how good a father his former Captain had become, especially in light of his husband’s colorful past in the Underground. Perhaps it was due to his time spent in the Scouting Legion and dealing with unscrupulous brats like those that he used to be, but Levi was very adept at getting Eirian to listen.

“You spoil him too much, Levi.”

“Tch.” There was a small grunt of acknowledgement from the dark-haired man as Levi turned back and continued checking his stock and inventory in case they needed to order anything. Although his former Captain had mellowed out over the years – time and fatherhood would do that Eren supposed – there were still many small reminders of who Levi had been. The dark circles around Levi’s eyes had faded and so had much of the man’s acerbic tongue, but his husband was still as much a clean freak and tea drinker as he had been back when they were Captain and subordinate.

Despite everything that had come between them, how many years had passed, and all the time that they had lost, Eren would not trade what he had now for anything. He had his family once more. A husband who he loved and a son who was his joy in life.

Carla Yeager’s death and the drive to kill all titans had been his past, but Levi and Eirian were his future.

Standing up, Eren walked over to his shorter husband, and wrapped his arms around Levi’s shoulders, uttering those same words that he had never stopped saying since he had regained his memories.

“I love you.”


End file.
